TrueTroubled Beauty
by Beautybecks
Summary: Series Summary: How do you love someone who believes they don’t deserve your love? Chapter Summary: nothing much just tying up a few loose ends and lots of gratuitous film talk. Pairing: DoctorJack
1. Prologue

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Title: Prologue: Never Satisfied

Fandom: Doctor Who

Chapter Summary: Set during Jack's time with the Ninth Doctor. Doctor's POV. Nine/Jack

Rating: PG-13 for sexual references and maybe swearing

Word Count: Just over 1000

Warning: Not so much in this part but over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors etc. so there may be spoilers for them.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

A/N: I started writing a vignette but it grew into a rather large fanfic and then I had to split it into sections and now the chapters have grown into double digits. Also, this was a stand-alone story I had written but never posted and I thought it made a good prologue to True/Troubled Beauty so I'm posting it now.

Feedback: helps me to keep writing and keep improving and is GREATLY needed. Please?

**Never Satisfied**

I can't believe I let it get this far. Even Rose hasn't made it to my bed, not yet anyway and I don't think she ever will. I won't let her. Don't know why I let him, but it's too late now to wonder. It's done; it's past; it's history. Except for the fact that he's still here, sleeping.

I don't understand why I can't find it in myself to wake him up and toss him out. It's not as if I care about hurting his feelings, I don't flatter myself by thinking it would hurt his feelings. This has never been about feelings for him and I can't figure out why he's here and Rose isn't. It isn't as if I fancy him more because I don't. I don't.

Mind you, as I look at him, his head resting on the pillow next to mine, he looks so innocent; so young, even younger than Rose; the light from the TARDIS highlighting the contrast between his pale white skin to his dark dark hair to his red kiss-swollen lips; he looks at peace; he looks so restful and I know he needs that rest because although it isn't until you get real close that you see the worry-lines in his forehead or the bags under his eyes they are there.

God, he's so beautiful.

And I guess that's the difference between Rose and Jack. She may be pretty, she's gorgeous in fact, I fancied her from the first moment I saw her but what attracts me to Jack is something different entirely. I don't know what it is and my brain has just been fried so I hardly think I can put it into words right now. But… I dunno, it's just Jack.

I protect Rose because I have to, she is my responsibility. I don't have to protect Jack, he's made that perfectly clear. He's determined to make it on his own, to not rely on anybody, to show he doesn't need us, he doesn't need me. Yet for some reason that makes me want to protect him even more, prove to him that he is part of a team and that I am the leader of that team. I need his trust and even though I know he'd follow me blindly to his death I still need more than that.

I understand him, or at least I think I do. I understand the act that he puts on in front of Rose because I perform the same one. Rose is just a girl; young, sweet and innocent and that's what Jack and I like best about her and we will do anything to try and protect her and keep her that way. Jack's a man and he lost all his innocence a long time ago and it's a shame and I think he thinks so too. That's another reason he puts on that façade and I'm scared to pull back that mask because the glimpses I've seen of his true self have already blown my mind and affected my hearts.

He's starting to dream now, the only dreams he ever has: nightmares. He's tossing and turning, muttering unintelligibly, a cold sweat already breaking out on his forehead and his bare chest. It's breaking my hearts to watch, but I do.

He's so troubled, so disturbed, so haunted yet he keeps it so well hidden that the only chance it really has to surface is whilst he's sleeping, helpless. Jack always has his façade up, even when he's alone it in the TARDIS, he even wants to protect her from what he thinks and feels. He needn't bother because the TARDIS is telepathic and she already knows but even she won't tell me. She's not sure I could take it and to be honest, I'm not sure she's not wrong.

Rose has nightmares. I'm well aware of this and I think I may be responsible for a couple but all her nightmares are just skin-deep. Jack's are soul-deep, coming from a place of darkness, loneliness and fear. I recognise that place well and I don't want him to face it on his own. I want to save him. I want to fix him.

No, it's more that that. I want to save him from himself. I want to fix that part of him which hates himself, because it kills me that he doesn't know how beautiful he is. He tries too hard to get people to like him just because he doesn't like himself.

Jack is sobbing now, I can hear it and see it and feel it in every single bone of my body. It's almost as if the TARDIS is crying too and I can feel a prickling sensation behind my eyeballs but I won't cry. I WILL NOT. But it hurts.

I remember telling him once, talking about something else but the meaning of the words all about him, it's all about him: "Only good people have nightmares" I told him and he replied and argued using Freudian technology: 'id, ego, superego, defence mechanisms' etc. I repeated my statement because I truly believe it but then he replied by quoting Shakespeare's 'Richard III'. I didn't try again.

Jack will always have an excuse as to why you shouldn't love him. Oh you can be his friend, his acquaintance, be someone who fucks him or who he fucks but you can never be his lover. He's only good for satisfying lust, not love.

I get it now. I get why he's in my bed and she isn't. It's really rather masochistic of me actually. She isn't in my bed because I want her to be. He's in my bed because it isn't just his body I want, it's his heart and soul. He's in my bed because last night I made love to him because I knew he wouldn't let me love him any other way.

His pillow is soaked in tears as his shouts die down and he starts to settle, a break in his nightmares giving him a rest that I fear will be far too brief. Sweat plasters his hair to his forehead and he's hugging his pillow as though it were a teddy bear. He's so beautiful. I want to protect him; I want to help him; I want to love him.

I stand up and leave. I can't hear Jack once the door is closed.

**End... for now**


	2. Chapter 1

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 01. When Past Lives and Current Loves Collide

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: The (10th) Doctor runs into a past love and is surprised to find himself more preoccupied with another past companion.

Rating: PG-13 for recalled violence

Word Count: 3300 ish

Warning: Not so much in this part but over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

A/N: I started writing a vignette but it grew into a rather large fanfic and then I had to split it into sections and now the chapters have grown into double digits. Also, I started writing this quite a while ago so Mickey's still in it.

Feedback: helps me to keep writing and keep improving and is GREATLY needed. Please?

When Past Lives and Current Loves Collide

"Rose, we're receiving a distress message. Press the blue button to put it onscreen." Rose is slightly shocked by the Doctor's harsh, urgent, commanding tone but then he smiles, trying to convince her that it is all just an adventure and not that people desperately need their help. He knows it's the later; he feels it and can't ignore it. Rose presses the button.

"Please help…." The message is highly damaged, barely comprehensible but the Doctor understands. "Ship…badly damaged…scavenged by pirates. I'm fine… Captain isn't. He hid me… protect…ship. Alive… he's unconscious. We're alone now, dead in the water. Please… help us." The woman pleads, tears cleaning her smoke-stained face. He recognised her immediately.

"Isn't that?.." Mickey starts to ask

"Yes." He replies and is already busy with the TARDIS, working out how to rescue her.

It actually doesn't take that long because TARDIS knows how important this is to him so she concentrates real hard and is actually accurate for once. They board the broken ship mere minutes later, where Rose and Mickey immediately run off in opposite directions. The Doctor is all alone.

This ship is big. Just a carcass now though. It's innards ripped out and several parts of the ship burned to ash and melted metal. It's a shame because this ship has potential, maybe it was even fulfilling it, he'll never know now. He can't identify the ship's origin though and that's a surprise. It's unique, individual. If the Doctor didn't know better, he'd say she was handmade but it would take years to build a ship like this and nobody puts in that kind of effort. It was probably stolen.

The Doctor searches the ship but he still can't find her and he's getting slightly frustrated now. He remembers the video message saying that the Captain had hidden her, trying to protect her but it's pretty hard to rescue someone if you can't find them! Stupid ape!

Of course, he has no knowledge as to whether the Captain is from Earth but he strongly suspects it. Humans have the uncanny knack of being the centre of trouble. Whether they're the perpetrators or the victims, humans are bound to be involved somehow. You'd think that the universe revolved around them the way that they carry on. Mind you, he can't help but be fond of them.

Suddenly, the woman from the video message appears from nowhere to greet the Doctor.

"It IS you." She exclaims, as though she had been expecting him but not really sure that she'd ever see him again. "Doctor!" She hugs him but he doesn't return it.

"Sarah-Jane" he acknowledges curtly, keeping a tight lid on his emotions. "I believe you called for a Doctor." He jokes but knows this is no laughing matter. Sarah-Jane releases him from her grip and her expression has changed greatly: she's no longer ecstatic at meeting an old friend, she's now scared of losing a new one.

"He kept drifting in and out of consciousness for the first few days but he hasn't woken up for three days now." Sarah-Jane takes the Doctor's hand and skilfully leads him through the labyrinth of corridors. "All our medical supplies were stolen. They took everything and the things they didn't take they destroyed. There's an escape pod, the Captain managed to keep it safe, and he kept telling me to use it but there's only room for one and I won't leave him here alone. He kept telling me to, he wants me to, but I won't."

"You said everything was taken, how did you manage to contact us?"

"I learned a few things when I was your companion, Doctor." They both smile at that but soon their expressions grow more severe as they focus their minds on the present rather than the past. "I managed to adapt the escape pod so I could send a video distress but everything else was beyond repair or just … out of my league. Oh, you should have seen this ship in all her glory, you'd have loved her."

"I bet I would have." The Doctor emphatically agrees before adding what is really on his mind. "This is an awfully big ship for just two people."

"It was just him before he met me. He reminded me a lot of you, you know. So full of energy and hope, yet no-one to share it with. So gifted and talented. So lonely and haunted. With you I had to keep reminding myself that you aren't human, but with him, I had to keep reminding myself that he is. He's amazing, you both are. He's been so strong for me. He has nightmares and he doesn't think I know but I do. He's remarkable. So troubled, so beautiful." She notices the Doctor's silence but she doesn't know how to interpret it: fear, jealousy, love, reflection, bitterness, anger, pain. She sees all these things in the Doctor's eyes. All and more.

They reach the door to where the Captain is but Sarah-Jane pauses. She's out of breath slightly yet the Doctor isn't even perceptively breathing. "He's a good man, Doctor. Please save him." She begs before opening the door.

When the Doctor sees who it is he rushes over to the body and falls to his knees beside it. It isn't just A captain, it is THE Captain. Captain Jack Harkness, the one and only (unless you count other dimensions, eras and ages). This was his Captain. His Captain Jack who has been beaten, tortured, burned, poisoned, broken and left to die.

"Rose." He tries to call out but only a whisper escapes his mouth. He tries again and this time her name comes out in a blood-curdling, anguished, terrified scream, "ROSE!"

The Doctor doesn't know what to do. He should but his mind is blank. He's running on blind fear. He thinks a thousand things yet can't pick out a single thought. He feels a myriad of emotions yet he can't identify any of them. Except for fear. Cold, irrational, stabbing fear and it is making him paralysed.

"Doctor?" Sarah-Jane repeats again and again, with more urgency each time until she finally brings him out of his panic-stricken trance. He has to force himself to take his eyes off of Jack and look at her.

She looks afraid, scared because Jack is dying and even more terrified that the Doctor can't save him. But there's also another look on her face. A tender look as if she almost pities the Doctor. He doesn't need her pity. He needs Jack.

And once again the Doctor is lost in the void in which he finds himself. It's as if Jack's a magnet that scrambles all the Doctor's thoughts and senses whenever he's too close. And it is very hard not to get too close to Jack.

But now Jack is right here: bleeding, broken, shivering. He is dying and still the Doctor can't pull himself together. Jack is fighting for breath, shaking himself apart in his sleep, poison slowly defeating all his organs and it would only be a matter of time before it reached his heart. His untouched skin looks so pale compared to the charred skin covering over half of his body and the bruises covering about a third, and even though he's at death's door it's possibly the most beautiful Jack has ever been.

"My God…" Rose gasps, stopping in her tracks and Mickey bumps into her.

"Isn't that?…" Mickey asks.

"It's Jack." Rose confirms, almost not believing it, even as she say the words. But fear turns into desperation and she finds herself angry to see the Doctor isn't helping him. "Doctor, what do we do? Doctor!"

"Erm. Right. Yes." The Doctor tries to make the world come back into focus but it is terribly difficult. He can only focus on Jack and that makes it hard for him to think. But they could lose him if he doesn't act soon.

"Doctor!" Rose and Sarah-Jane scream at him.

"Mickey, help me carry him back to the TARDIS. Rose, run along ahead of us and tell her we're coming. Tell her Jack's been badly injured and we're gonna need the best medicines and antidotes that she has. Sarah-Jane, I need you to tell me everything you know about the species that attacked him. I need to figure out what exactly they did to him and how they did it. I need to know so we can fix it." And with that everybody springs into action: Rose runs down the labyrinth until she reaches the TARDIS. The Doctor and Mickey drag a lifeless Jack as quickly and as carefully as they can as Sarah-Jane follows close behind, telling the Doctor all she's able to.

"They claimed to be merchants. I didn't recognise the ship but Jack seemed to admire it. It had a crew of five. Every single one of them belonging to a different species and I didn't recognise a single one. Jack welcomed them onboard: he's too trusting. He knows it… but he just can't help it."

"Sarah-Jane." The Doctor scolds, his voice choked. He doesn't need to hear this.

"I don't know how I can be any help to you, it all happened so fast!" she cries and the Doctor regrets berating her but Sarah-Jane knows his reasons why better than he does so she continues with her account. "They turned nasty. The blue one hit him on the head, knocked him unconscious. The orange one tied me up at gunpoint whilst the others went about scavenging the ship. K-9 was resting. Jack had exhausted his batteries playing with him so he was recharging. He should have been safe.

"They made Jack watch as they raped his ship, as they tore her insides out, as they stole her parts, as they burnt what parts of her they couldn't steal. And he watched. He didn't say a word but I could see how much it was hurting him. He put so much time and care and love into this ship but he watched them crudely rip out her innards and he didn't do a thing. I know he could have, but he didn't." Sarah-Jane notices a silent tear falling down the Doctor's cheek even as she tries to prevent her own.

"He didn't act until they took K9. He snapped the rope and broke free. They had underestimated his strength. There were two aliens guarding us, the same ones that had tied us up and he took the orange one out no problem but the blue one was a lot more difficult. He beat Jack pretty badly, I'm sure I heard a few of his ribs crack but Jack just kept on fighting. The alien stabbed him with the spikes on his arms, dripping with this green ooze, but Jack still somehow found the strength to win. He untied me and showed me where to hide. Then he was gone.

"I don't know how long it was until I came out of hiding. The 'merchants' were gone and taken those Jack had rendered unconscious. The fires were out. I found Jack collapsed next to an escape pod he'd manage to save. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, apologising again and again for losing K-9 and saying he'd let me down, repeatedly telling me to use the escape pod and leave him behind. He drifted into a coma a few days later and that was when I used the machinery from the escape pod to send a video distress message."

"Doctor, he's… he's stopped breathing!" Mickey shouts, and then they wordlessly place Jack on the ground. The Doctor knows what he must do. He gives Jack the kiss of life, and prays it is enough.

It's been seven minutes of the Doctor giving Jack his breath then pounding his chest to keep the oxygenated blood pumping around his body but the Doctor refuses to give up. He sees the pitiful looks both Sarah-Jane and Mickey are giving him but he doesn't care. He won't give up. And all his hard work pays off.

This time, the Doctor doesn't rely on anyone else. He just slings Jack over his shoulder and runs to the TARDIS himself. He's there before Mickey or Sarah-Jane.

"It's been three days and he hasn't moved." Rose whispers to Mickey whilst leaning on the doorframe, looking in at the Doctor but not entering the room.

"I can still hear you though Rose." And perhaps his voice is more severe than he intended but he has more important issues occupying his mind. He's been sitting by Jack's bedside for three days now like Rose said. The TARDIS has cleaned Jack up; given him a medical shower and fresh hospital-style garments, his old clothes being unrecognisable after being blood-soaked, burned and torn; She found the antidote alien poison, the Doctor administered it; he'd stopped the bleeding, reset his bones, restored his badly burnt skin all using his sonic screwdriver. Jack should be awake now. There's no reason for him not to have regained consciousness. Except maybe he didn't want to.

He still has nightmares though, and it hurts the Doctor to watch but he can't leave Jack all alone. All he can do is try to comfort him through touch and meaningless words, which Jack never even seems to notice. But no matter how futile it appears he still has to try and comfort his friend whilst he's twisting and struggling in terror, trapped in a nightmare he can't seem to wake up from. Or won't.

"How is he?" Mickey expresses a vague interest because how Jack is affects the Doctor and how the Doctor is affects Rose and Rose is Mickey's real concern.

"He won't wake up." The Doctor's voice is loaded with a multitude of emotions. "I don't get why he won't wake up!"

"He will." Rose replies confidently. "He's got to." The Doctor's face goes pale as he has a flashback of her misguided confidence just before Jack marched off to his death fighting the Daleks.

It has been six days since they answered the distress signal and Jack is still unconscious, the Doctor is still by his bedside and the TARDIS still isn't moving.

Sarah-Jane had settled in, fast becoming reacquainted with Rose and Mickey; alleviating the boredom Rose feels, mothering both of them with cups of tea, entertaining them of anecdotes of her time with the Doctor, her journalist work or K-9. She never mentions Jack, and it isn't until now that Rose finally asks her.

"How did you meet him, the Captain, anyway?"

"It was shortly after you left me, a few months later. I was investigating a bout of UFO sightings. He was actually the one causing it. He loves his ship but she isn't exactly reliable. The invisibility thing was acting up and as great a mechanic he is he couldn't fix it without the right parts and for some strange reason that happened to be in Cardiff. He detected K-9 and instinctively knew I'd been in space before and asked if I wanted to go again. How could I refuse him?"

"You couldn't." Rose says with complete understanding before adding with a twinkle, "Nobody can resist that Harkness charm."

"Huh." Mickey huffs. "I don't think he's all that charming." Rose smiles at that.

"He had you laughing at his jokes and eating out of the palm of his hand thirty minutes after you'd met him." Rose tries to tell him through the laughing fit and Mickey tries to refute it but he can't. So he sulks instead.

"You know, I hope he does regain consciousness soon so I don't have to listen to you two anymore. I mean, Jack's got to survive. Seriously, if it's just you two and the Doctor, I'm getting off at the next stop." Mickey tries to laugh but the others are really missing him and the TARDIS is silent for a bit.

"Tell me more about him." Rose asks, almost pines, softly.

"He is SUCH a romantic." Sarah-Jane smile lit up.

"Did he lay it on proper thick like he did with me?" Rose laughs. "I remember he rescued me, hanging from a barrage balloon during the blitz in Britain. We ended up dancing on the roof of this Chula ship he had at the time, parked outside Big Ben, drinking champagne."  
"I feel cheated, he never tried anything like that with me." Sarah-Jane insists trying to look shocked before adding, "although he did take me to this planet, K-PAX, when both of the suns were setting. It was such a beautiful sight." She sighs. "He's taken me to some of the most amazing places, we've met the most wonderful people…

"I reckon he was lonely." Sarah-Jane says suddenly and it strikes a nerve with Rose. She thought she had understood Jack well. She understood his need of approval, especially from the Doctor but she generally thought that Jack really was as happy and as secure as the image he portrayed. She realises now that she was just naïve.

"Do you know the real reason he took me onboard?" Sarah-Jane continues and Rose puts on an intrigued look. "I told him about my past, and about the Doctor, and the TARDIS. And he was appalled that the Doctor had left me behind. I told him that I had asked to be left behind but Jack thought the Doctor should have come back for me later. Jack's the kind of man who always makes time to revisit old friends, the ones he remembers, anyway. He understands that once you've visited the stars that it's hard to be content with less. I had grown content but he said I shouldn't have had to. He took it upon himself to take me to the stars. I talked about the Doctor all the time. Jack never mentioned him. I never knew."

Two days later and Jack is tossing, writhing and screaming. But he is still asleep, and the Doctor is still watching over him.

Everybody else has given up on Jack. They've never said it but the Doctor knows. He understands it up to a point. He knows a part of Jack has given up on himself too. But the Doctor won't. Can't.

"K-9!" Jack screams as his beautiful blue eyes fly open.

"It's okay Jack. You're safe. You're here now." The Doctor tries to reassure him but Jack isn't listening.

"Where's K-9! I've got to save K-9!" He screams, tears staining his face. "I've got save Sarah-Jay"

"She's safe." The Doctor says abruptly and that seems to get through to him. "She's here."

"Where is 'here' exactly?" Jack asks, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"The TARDIS. We picked up a distress signal Sarah-Jane sent from your ship."

"My ship? I told her to use the escape pod. I told her to leave me. She should have left me, Doctor." The Doctor feels a surge of emotion at Jack calling him by his name. Also slight surprised Jack realised he **_was _**the Doctor, what with him regenerating since Jack saw him last, but Jack has always been clever. A little suicidal but still a genius.

"You underestimated her." The Doctor states simply before tenderly adding, "You underestimate yourself."

"How long…"

"You've been unconscious for 11 days. Drifting in and out of consciousness for a few days before that."

"Wow!" Jack yawned. "If I've been asleep for that long, why am I so tired?" The Doctor doesn't reply, too busy lost in the images of Jack suffering from his nightmares to respond. "Don't worry, I'll just have a shower, maybe some coffee if that's okay with you and TARDIS then I'll fix my ship and be out of your way." By the time the Doctor has regained his voice, trying to protest, Jack has already stumbled out of the room and is gone.

End of Chapter One 


	3. Chapter 2

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 02. A love unspoken is a love unbroken

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: The (10th) Doctor should have kept his mouth shut.

Rating: PG for some mild sexual references

Word Count: 4000ish

Warning: over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them. There may be the odd spoiler for Doctor Who episodes as well but I think I'm being rather cryptic.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

A/N: The chapters in this series are fairly short but bare in mind each chapter is about the usual length of the one-off stories I write. This is a mammoth task for me

Feedback: It encourages me to continue writing consistently. I'll write anyway but feedback helps me keep a pace. So thank you for all your reviews so far and please keep them coming :-)

A love unspoken is a love unbroken

"Good news! Jack's regained consciousness." The Doctor beams but his audience barely reacts; Mickey gives a snort, Rose kind of looks betrayed and hurt, whilst Sarah-Jane gives him a small smile but you clearly can see the sympathy in her eyes.

"That's good to hear." She placates him and suddenly the Doctor feels very anxious. He feels like he's missing out on a tiny piece of information that all the others have but they're not sharing with him and that worries him just a tiny bit. It doesn't help that his companions are staying silent. Mickey's now half-asleep whilst Sarah-Jane and Rose keep giving each other guilty glances as if they're both sharing a secret joke or have made a silent bet.

The Doctor tries to stay silent for as long as he can but he hasn't spoken to any of the others for days whilst he was looking after the Captain and he needs to talk, to question, to understand. So within two minutes, he has to ask Sarah-Jane the question.

"What was he like, when he was with you?" Sarah-Jane grins at that, Mickey laughs before going back to sleep and Rose sulks even more but the Doctor's attention is fully concentrated on Sarah-Jane waiting for her answer.

"Same as he was with you, I imagine." She replies and the Doctor shakes his head.

"I don't think so. You see, he was a conman when we first met. A soldier too. Two years of his memory were gone and he thought the Time Agency had betrayed him so that was why he was conning them. But a con went wrong, put Earth in danger. But he put it right in the end. Was willing to die to put it right. Rose and I wouldn't let him. So we welcomed him onboard the TARDIS. We became a team, I didn't expect that to happen, but all too soon it was over. He helped us fight the Daleks, save mankind. And that time he really did give his life to do it." The Doctor notices the confused look on Sarah-Jane's face but he dismisses it with a hand, "It's a long story, don't ask."

"No, I'm just surprised. He never mentioned any of that to me. He never mentioned anything about his past, except for the fact he couldn't remember parts of it." Sarah-Jane tries to smile at that because that's exactly what Jack does. "But my Jack," the Doctor flinches slightly at Sarah-Jane's 'my' but she continues oblivious, "he couldn't have been a soldier, he hates hurting people. I'm sure he'd lay his life down in a second to save mankind but I've never seen Jack initiate a firefight. He tries his best to avoid it, desperately searches for an alternative and if the worst comes to the worst he does what he has to do, just to save us but his nightmares are worse after. Terrible. Horrific. My Jack is an explorer, not a soldier."

"He's also a romantic, but he was like that with us too." Rose adds. "He's not that much of a boy he pretends to be."

"Yes he is!" Sarah-Jane defends him. "I remember we went to see the universe's best computer and I couldn't drag him away for days. I was bored out of my skull whilst he was busy being a geek! I bet he fell in love with the TARDIS the last time he was here."

"Yeah, he did." The Doctor replies, stroking the TARDIS, a faraway look on his face and a smile on his lips.

"Okay, I admit that he's a geek because I saw that when he was with us," Rose accepts. "But tell the Doctor how much of a girl Jack is." She orders Sarah-Jane.

"Just because he loves chick-flicks that does not turn him into a girl!" Sarah-Jane insists and tries to defend Jack's honour.

"Please don't tell me you introduced him to 21st-Century television?" the Doctor begs because as much as he loves television, humans seem to worship it. He can only imagine the effect it would have on Jack and it isn't pretty.

"Yeah, big mistake on my part." Sarah-Jane acknowledges. "The ship had no Captain for the best part of two months. I had to go everywhere on autopilot!" Sarah-Jane tries to look peeved at that but her expression soon gives way into a beaming smile. "But he more than made it up to me in the end."

"Oh yeah?" Mickey wakes up enough to ask. "How did he do that then?"

"That was when he showed me the most beautiful planets. He always showed me the most beautiful planets but these meant more to him. Places he'd saved, places that he hid, places he loved. And then we explored, proper exploring into the unknown. He told me it was dangerous but I knew he'd protect me and we never ran into any problems. We even met a new species, about three feet tall with multi-coloured skin, but Jack befriended them immediately. It was magical. He's quite a diplomat. He even traded with them so he could get more materials for his ship." Sarah-Jane's sighs as her fond memories are tarnished with the thought of his ship. It is so unfair what those 'merchants' did to her. Sarah-Jane's heart becomes weighted with sadness, as does Rose's, but it is the Doctor's two hearts that are effected the most.

"You see, he never showed us any of that. He just followed the Doctor's orders and…" Rose trails off. "We didn't get enough time with him."

"No, we didn't." The Doctor agrees. "And I shouldn't have ordered him around, that was wrong of me. But I never realised, never thought…" The Doctor gives a dry, self-loathing laugh. "He even had me fooled."

"How?" Sarah-Jane asks.

"I believed him. That shallow mask he wore so nobody would question him. I knew there was more to him than that but I never looked. Too much of a coward to look, I guess. I just used him. I needed a soldier and he was there. Convenient really. If I had looked, I don't think I could have let him die. Not even to save humanity. And that's the same reason I left him behind… so I wouldn't have to look any deeper." The Doctor can feel the tears fighting to break free but he won't let them. He's chewing on his lip to prevent them and he's hating himself at the moment but he can feel three pairs of concerned eyes staring into him so he forces a smile on his face for their sakes. "But you've had **time** with him Sarah-Jane. So please, tell me what he's like." The desperation in the Doctor's beautiful brown eyes is apparent and Sarah-Jane understands how important this is to the Doctor. She understands WHY it's so important to the Doctor better than the Doctor does himself, so she tells him all she can.

"Jack is confused. He's young. I used to think he was innocent but his nightmares suggest otherwise. Oh Doctor, he has such horrific nightmares. They haunt him nightly yet I don't think he remembers them when he's awake. Perhaps it's for the best but they are so terrible, it's horrible!"

"I know." The Doctor replies and this time he can't fight back his tears and they silently leak down his face as he remembers Jack screaming, sweating and struggling. He's surprised to find Mickey's hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"I sometimes think he played a role with me." Sarah-Jane continues. "He tries so hard. Too hard. I don't think he can be himself because I don't think he knows who that is yet. But I swear there were times with me when he wasn't acting, when he was genuinely happy. He enjoyed making me happy. He enjoys making other people because I don't think he knows how to make himself happy and I'm not too sure he thinks he deserves to be.

"He's a mechanic. I think we can all agree on that." Everybody smiles at that, including Mickey because it was very rare that Jack was seen without a piece of high-tech machinery or gadget close to hand. And Mickey saw Jack's response to the tribo physical waveform macro kinetic extrapolator so he definitely agrees. "It's with technology that I've seen him truly at his happiest, no acting involved. I think he loves technology more than he loves people, and believe me that that's plenty." Their collective grins grow into a collective chuckle, which is aptly very Jack-like.

"He's more empathic than I would have guessed." Sarah-Jane adds thoughtfully. "He understands people. He knows what they want, what they need. He tends to trust people implicitly and although he tries to appear wary of people that's the true act because he's got to try to be suspicious. But he's an optimist. It's almost as if he's trying to be naïve. But to be fair, it often works. He creates bonds with people because he treats them equally and he shows a genuine interest in them. He's great with kids especially, because he doesn't patronise them. He believes in the good of people and even if they've done bad stuff he still believes that that doesn't make them evil, just misguided. He doesn't believe in evil people, just evil actions. He has a strong faith in humanity and that faith tends to make people want to deserve it. He makes people strive to be better, just because he believes in them. He sees the world in very clear-cut terms. Humanity is good and it's a lack of humanity that is bad. And it hurts him to see humanity as anything other than pure good. He's been hurt a lot, but he still believes." Silence fills the TARDIS as the Doctor is filled with an inexplicable, indefinable, overpowering emotion.

"And he's a total girl." Rose claims, trying to lift the mood. "Totally backed up by his choice of TV and film."

"His choice of TV and film makes him a ten-year-old boy." Sarah-Jane insists. "Science-fiction and B-Horror movies. Graphic novels and boys-own-adventure stuff. He discovered Star Trek and I couldn't peel him away from the screen, he spend 9 solid days just watching the movies and then when I eventually did pull him away from the TV we spent a week at a science-fiction convention. He was such a geek but so happy there that I couldn't bare to drag him away." Sarah-Jane grins at the memory.

"Yeah, okay, but his other choice of TV and film totally make him a fourteen-year-old girl! Romance, musicals, Shakespeare…"

"Shakespeare is not a girl thing." Sarah-Jane interrupts.

"Neither is romance and musicals!" The Doctor exclaims and Rose is rather taken back by that.

"I thought you told me romance and musicals were ridiculously pretentious and naïve. Hugely made by and for little girls who couldn't live in the real world and therefore lived in a fantasy one instead. It's just a sickeningly sweet dream because people who are romantic and who burst into song at the drop of a hat don't exist in real life. That's what you told me." Rose accuses the Doctor.

"Jack's like that!" Sarah-Jane points out. "He's sweet and thoughtful and caring. I guess you could call it romantic. He climbed a mountain, properly hiked up there without his technology because technology was forbidden, just to get me this flower he thought would brighten up my quarters. And he bursts into song for no reason. Just because he feels like it and it does cheer you up, listening to him. He's got a good voice."

"There's nothing wrong with musicals and romance." The Doctor defends.

"But you said…"

"He said. I've regenerated since then and I think people could do with more romance and music in their lives. Yeah, romance and musicals are the way to go." The Doctor concludes firmly and Rose sulks. She liked the old Doctor better. There is a companionable silence in the TARDIS for a few seconds whilst Rose sulks and tries to think of a comeback.

"Well, what you didn't mention is… how, after those B-Horror movies, he ended up in your bed because he was too scared on his own. You told me he didn't sleep for days after watching 'The Invasion of the Body Snatchers', for a week after he watched 'Psycho.' The original that is." Rose smirks, laughing at the memory of Vince Vaughn in drag.

"Oh, I'm sure he had alternative motives for getting into Sarah-Jane's bed." The Doctor replies, his voice considerably more bitter than he'd like it.

"He was a perfect gentleman the entire time! An Officer and a Gentleman." Sarah-Jane can't resist adding and Rose picked up on the mention of the film immediately.

"And that complete and utter chick-flick happens to be one of Jack's favourite films. That along with the Ginger Roger movies and 'Moulin Rouge.' He's a sucker for romance and love songs. Sure he cries at the tragic endings but he even cries at the happy endings too."

"awwww!" the Doctor lets out a squeal before realising what he has just done. "I have no idea what that was or why I just did that."

"Please!" Mickey snorts, having just been woken up by the Doctor's high-pitched bleat. "You've always had a thing for the Captain!" it was obvious he was still cranky and not in the mood for tact.

"I don't have a 'thing' for Jack. A 'thing'? What's a 'thing'? I don't have a 'thing' for Jack! I don't even know what a 'thing' is! What is a 'thing'?"

"A thing?" Mickey smirked, teasing the Doctor and encouraging the women to do the same. "A thing is nursing someone in a coma for over a week and never taking your eyes off him."

"A thing is where you look after the guy so possessively, you won't even let his best friends near him because you want it just to be you and him." Sarah-Jane points out and the Doctor tries to refute it, tries to say that he didn't stop them from seeing Jack, which technically he didn't although whenever they did he did visit the Doctor made them feel uncomfortable and awkward. Not intentionally but…

"A thing is when even you're not with him you still have to talk about him because he's the most important thing to you. More important than us anyway." Rose pouts and the Doctor tries to protest but is cut off.

"I think it's a love-thing." Mickey manages to get out before laughing because it is usually the Doctor calling him an idiot. Now the boot is firmly on the other foot.

"Love? Give me a break! The boy was dying so I made sure he didn't. That doesn't mean I love him!" The Doctor exclaims.

"What about before?" Rose asks. "Before you… regenerated."

"I was pathetic then. I loved you both and I didn't do anything about it. I just led you into a war and got him killed!" The Doctor swallows hard, wiping the tears that have fallen from his eyes. "But that doesn't mean I love him anymore!" The TARDIS falls silent, giving the Doctor a moment to acknowledge the truth. "But it's Jack!" The Doctor protests. "Lying, cheating, troubled, charming, sweet, beautiful, geeky, tortured, underestimated, underestimating, beautiful Jack."

"You said beautiful twice." Mickey points out.

"I CAN'T love Jack!" The Doctor tries to rationalise yet when he sees the three pairs of pitiful looks in his direction he finally admits the truth. "But I do." He reluctantly admits but isn't allowed to revel in the revelation for long.

"Don't ever tell him though." Sarah-Jane warns him.

"What? Why?"

"He won't react well. It's…" she sighs. "He doesn't know how to be loved. He wants people to like him, he needs it even, because he's not too sure he likes himself. But if you tell him you love him it will end in tragedy, he'll make it. He doesn't want to hurt you but it'll hurt him more and that's why he'll do it. If you want him to stay please don't tell him." Sarah-Jane pleads but the Doctor doesn't reply.

"I knew the Doctor had a crush on the Captain! I was right, Rose! I was right!" Mickey brags.

"Be fair Mickey." Sarah-Jane attempts to play referee. "You're only half right. I think the old regeneration of the Doctor only loved both Jack and Rose. I think he had a crush on Rose rather than Jack."

"Yeah, but now…"

"Now, I don't even think he knows I'm even here." Rose tells Mickey, feeling rather dejected and obviously ignoring the Doctor. "It's all about Jack."

"What? I may love him but I don't have a crush on him!" The Doctor insists ignoring the eye-rolls coming from Rose, Mickey and Sarah-Jane. "I haven't been gay for about 5 regenerations (depending on who's counting) and I have never had a 'crush' on anybody! I am above such things; I am a Time Lord. I have never had a 'crush' in my life!" the Doctor pauses. "No, wait, I tell a lie. I once had a whirlwind romance with this woman called Grace, but that was a weird time. She was a Doctor, operated on me. She thought she's killed me. I regenerated to find she's left some sort of wire in my chest. We saved the world together. We defeated the Master together. It just so happened that the Master had taken over her boyfriend's body. So I stepped in. But it was just a crush, nothing serious.

"I can't have a crush on Jack!" The Doctor whines. "I mean sure, he's young, charming and good-looking. Pale skin and dark hair. Dazzling smile. Beautiful blue eyes. Athletic build." The Doctor clears his throat. "I don't have a crush! I may be in love with him but please, please don't say I have a crush on him too!"

"The Doctor's horny for the Captain." Mickey mercilessly sings, repeating the phrase over and over again, Sarah-Jane trying to stifle a laugh and Rose trying not to be too peeved.

"I am not horny! Do I look horny to you, don't answer that, but I'm not. I… Nobody has ever described me as horny before. It's just not possible. I am not horny. I don't even know what horny…" The Doctor trails off as Jack enters, dripping wet , wearing only black boxer shorts. A cup of coffee in one hand which he's moaning into every time he takes a sip, and a small towel for drying his hair in the other.

"Sarah-Jay!" he puts his coffee down on the nearest surface, runs over to her, hugs her then kisses her so passionately that the Doctor has to look away. "I am so glad you're safe. I'm sorry I failed you. I shouldn't have let them take K-9." He kisses her once again on the mouth, deeply and lovingly before pressing their foreheads together. "But you should have left me. You should have just saved yourself."

"I saved both of us." Sarah-Jane replies but Jack just shakes his head before spotting Rose.

"Rose, I've missed you!" He hugs her before kissing her too. She actually giggles in response, despite herself.

"Mickey!" He makes to hug him Mickey won't let him.

"You're dripping wet and you're half-naked. Don't touch me!" Mickey warns and Jack does back off, picking up his coffee and drinking it instead. "Why are you half-naked?"

"The TARDIS took my clothes when I had a shower. You should be grateful she even gave me boxers." Jack smirks, before patting Mickey on both shoulders. "You're travelling with the Doc and Rose now? Good for you!" Jack smiles but his smile wavers when his eyes fall on the Doctor. He cradles his cup of coffee and says nothing.

"Don't I get a hug?" the Doctor asks nervously, feeling like a schoolboy. His hands are firmly tucked in his pocket because he can't figure out what to do with them. Jack doesn't respond.

"He's… angry isn't the word." Sarah-Jane tries to explain. "He's disappointed. That you left."

"That I left him?"

"No!" The word escapes Jack's lips before he can prevent it and he looks down at the floor as though he feels guilty, feels like he shouldn't have spoken.

"No." Sarah-Jane explains softly. "That you left me."

"He thinks you love her." Rose continues. "He thinks you belong with her and you shouldn't have left her on Earth. He thinks it was selfish of you to leave her behind and stupid of you to leave her at all."

"Oh Jack." The Doctor's expression is pained but Jack is still looking at the floor so he doesn't see it. The Doctor turns to Sarah-Jane, "I did love you once…"

"What are you? Hamlet!" Jack explodes. "And you must be crazy not to love her now. She deserves better than to be someone's Ophelia!" Jack winces and shuts up, pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Then he takes a large gulp of his coffee and even though it burns his mouth and throat he doesn't make a sound, not even as his eyes start to water.

"I left you too! Or have you forgotten that? Hmm?" the Doctor snaps. "I abandoned you on some God-forsaken satellite station without a living soul for company, just ashes and dust! How can you be more occupied with the fact I left Sarah-Jane behind because she asked me to than the fact that I left you?"

"I don't deny it hurt." Jack says and the pain in his eyes is unbearable for the Doctor to see but he still finds himself staring into Jack's blue eyes. He can see pain but no blame. Jack doesn't blame anybody. Except maybe himself. "But I get why you left me. I'd have done the same thing." The Doctor shakes his head but Jack ignores him. "You left because you couldn't trust me. I'm a liability. I'm used to working solo, not as a team. I'm used to looking after number one and lying and cheating to do so. I'm a conman, you're a hero and Rose is an innocent. I get it, I really do. I just… don't get why you left Sarah-Jane. That was unforgivable."

"I'd forgiven him." Sarah-Jane points out. "And in a way I'm glad you left Jack behind otherwise I wouldn't have met him." Jack feels like hugging her for that but he doesn't. He's still aware of the Doctor's watchful eyes on him.

"I get why you left me, Doc. I deserved it. I understand that. It's okay. Really." Jack insists even though he's desperately trying not to cry and is biting his lip so hard it's bleeding.

"No. You don't understand." And the Doctor can feel everyone in the TARDIS begging him not to say anything but this is too important. He has too. Besides, staying silent never was one of the Doctor's strong points. "I left you because I loved you."

"What? No!" Jack shakes his head so strongly that it shakes the scolding coffee all over his hand but he doesn't even notice his hand burning. He's trying too desperately to deny what he's just heard but the Doctor won't let him.

"I hadn't known you for that long but I'd already fallen for you twice as hard and that scared me. I thought that if I left you behind I'd forget about you, forget about these feelings and carry on as normal but it didn't work. It's stronger than ever. I still love you Jack. I love you so, so much." But Jack has already ran into another room of the TARDIS. "Jack, Jack!" the Doctor is upset and Mickey and Rose refrain from saying 'we told you so' whereas the look on Sarah-Jane's face is so sympathetic that the Doctor is finding it hard not to cry.

"One of these days I'm gonna figure out that some of my companions are actually worth listening to." He remarks before running off in the direction Jack retreated to.

**End of Chapter 2**


	4. Chapter 3

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 03. Costumes and Crushes

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: Just a little fun with the dressing-up box but it turns serious when Jack wants to leave. The Doctor resorts to low means to stop him.

Rating: PG

Word Count: 3, 500ish

Warning: over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them. There may be the odd spoiler for Doctor Who episodes as well but I think I'm being rather cryptic. Also, I apologise for trying to write the Scottish accent phonetically. I'm not Scottish but I love David Tennant and John Barrowman and various Scottish actors. Once again, I apologise for butchering the accent. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

Costumes and Crushes

The Doctor finds the Captain in a disused part of the TARDIS, underneath some panelling and undoing all the work the shower has just done to him. He's so busy fiddling with the TARDIS that he doesn't notice the Doctor come in, and watch him.

The Doctor could watch Jack forever; this is Jack at his finest. This is Jack at his happiest. Man working seamlessly with Machine. Jack is so skilled, so talented; it is such a beautiful sight to watch. Jack is so gifted, so clever, so brilliant but he's also so brittle, so frail and so fragile.

The temperature controls in the room are slightly kaput and it's extremely cold in there. The Doctor doesn't feel it much and Jack's too lost in his own world to notice. It isn't until he's shaking so much he can barely hold the tools and almost collapses in a coughing fit that the Doctor finally makes his presence known.

"Jack, you're frozen." The Doctor sits down, his legs dangling off the edge off the panel, Jack still beneath him. "Put this on." The Doctor tells Jack, passing him his long brown coat, which he doesn't accept.

"You've been neglecting her." Jack chatters, refusing to look at the man he is talking to. Instead he gulps down the rest of his coffee, even though it's cold and he has to force his hands to cooperate. The Doctor watches as Jack tortures himself trying to help the TARDIS. It's too much to bear and the Doctor jumps down and covers Jack's hands with his own, trying to steady them and warm them up but mainly just to hold them and feel them in his own.

Jack is looking at him with deep, confused and questioning eyes and the Doctor is lost. But then Jack suffers another coughing fit and the Doctor has to hold him so he doesn't fall. He's forced into action and the Doctor fixes the thermostat with ease using his sonic screwdriver and then he turns his attention to Jack. Jack: who has sunk to the floor, his head in his hands.

"Please, tell me you don't love me." Jack pleads, his voice muffled because he's talking to the floor, can't even raise his head. The Doctor finds he can't reply because Jack is still shaking, so instead he tries to cover Jack with his coat but Jack moves, stands up and climbs out of underneath the panels. The Doctor thinks he sees Jack wiping away tears but he can only see the back of Jack so he can't be too sure.

Jack is almost at the door but then he pauses, then he turns. His entire manner has changed, just in a matter of microseconds. What was scared, worried and insecure is now brazen, loud and cocky. Shame it's just an act but Jack plays the part oh so well. Jack walks over to the Doctor who is still beneath the panelling, kneels down and offers the Doctor a helping hand. The Doctor just stares. He's confused and concerned but most of all he's intrigued.

"I know you don't love me." Jack smiles, sure he's stating a fact. Or rather, hoping that stating it like a fact will make it come true. But nevertheless, Jack has a determined look in his eye, which looks as though he's just begging the Doctor to challenge him. And it's a challenge the Doctor can't seem to refuse.

"Oh yeah? And how is that then?" The Doctor asks, accepting Jack's hand, which pulls him up easily. And as Jack stands up he refuses to let go of the Doctor, even pulling him closer so that their faces are mere millimetres apart and the Doctor is twitching with the effort not to close the gap.

"Because you've got a crush on me. That's all." Jack's voice is kind of gravely and obviously put-on, trying to be sexy. It's very effective. The Doctor is breathing rather heavily but all he can breathe is Jack, all he can see is Jack, all he can taste and feel and hear is Jack and the Doctor should be concerned by that but he can't find it in himself to care because this feels so good, so right. "You may think you're in love but what you're feeling is too intense to be love. It's a crush. Just a crush."

"Yes." The Doctor gasps, rasps even though he doesn't really know what he's saying yes to. All he knows is that this feels **SO** good and he wants to get closer. He needs to.

"Good." Jack says moving away leaving the Doctor bereft, alone and confused. "Now, I'll just get on my ship and leave you alone. Tell Sarah-Jane she's better off without me and better off with you. I know you'll look after her and Rose for me."

"Wait! You can't just go!" the Doctor calls out with such a force that it stops Jack in his tracks. It also surprises the Doctor too. "I mean… your ship…" his tone turns serious and is weighted with sadness, although deep down a part of him isn't sad because it means Jack has no choice but to stay. "She's stripped completely bare. You won't be able to get her going again." And the Doctor flinches internally because the pain in Jack's eyes is so clear at that and suddenly the Doctor gets it. That ship was a work of art in the past, practically hand-built. It was the work of a lifetime, Jack's life and it made the pacifist Doctor angry to think how anybody could rape her and hurt Jack that way.

"I know my ship, Doctor. There are secret rooms, secret panels and there are a lot of them. They couldn't have found them all. I can repair her, fix the bare essentials at least. There are some things I will never be able to replace… but I will be able to get her to go. It won't take long, a few hours, a day at the most if I work real hard. I'll be gone soon enough, don't worry."

'And you'll be alone.' The Doctor thinks but knows better than to say it out loud. Only Jack is moving again, leaving, and all the Doctor can think is that he's got to get Jack to stay because as trite as this sounds he doesn't want to go on if he doesn't know Jack is there with him. He tried, he tried to live his life without Jack before and he doesn't want to go back to that. He never wants to go back to that.

"The TARDIS wants you to stay." The Doctor blurts out, hating how pathetic he sounds but soon not caring because it works. Jack turns around, looking guilty. "I assume that's why she didn't give you any real clothes, just boxer shorts. Although she should have known that practically being naked wouldn't stop you." Jack laughs at that and the Doctor can't help but smile but then the mood turn serious.

"She'll survive without me, you all will. You'll survive better without me. You're all better off without me." The Doctor can see Jack sincerely believes what he's saying but the Doctor can't see how. He doesn't want to survive without Jack and he's not so sure he could. Yet, right at this moment Jack is walking out of his life and the Doctor can't let that happen.

"Wait!" The Doctor exclaims so suddenly that it makes Jack jump. "Follow me!" The Doctor grabs Jack's hand and drags him through the TARDIS' rooms and corridors rather swiftly and quickly.

"Where are we going?" Jack laughs because the Doctor looks so enthusiastic. It's sweet really, but that's just another reason for him not to stay.

"I promise you'll like it."

"Where are we going?" Jack asks again, more serious this time but the Doctor still doesn't go of his hand. He does answer the question though.

"The TARDIS' wardrobe department. It's like a huge dressing-up box, an amazing range of outfits. You'll love it." The Doctor insists, still dragging Jack along, a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"We're going to get me some clothes? You don't have to do that." Jack tells him whilst still following him. "I'm fine." Jack insists.

"Yeah, well you may be perfectly happy just in your boxer-short but I'm…" the Doctor chose that moment to turn around and Jack collides into him. "…not." The Doctor gulps, forcing himself to move away from Jack. "It's just a crush, just a crush." The Doctor mutters this mantra whilst Jack scoffs bitterly, shaking his head.

"Don't worry Doc. The best way to resist temptation is to remove it. You'll forget me once I'm gone." Jack flashes a weak smile and gestures for the Doctor to lead the way. It takes the Doctor a few moments to eventually find his legs but soon enough they are at the wardrobe department.

"Here we are!" The Doctor grins and Jack is wide-eyed and open-mouthed in awe.

"This place is…"

"Big. Yeah, I know." The Doctor laughs.

"Are all these clothes yours?" Jack asks, his voice full of amazement.

"Mine, past selves, past companions but most of it is just the TARDIS showing off. Actually, some of Sarah-Jane's old clothes should be here…"

"Past selves?" Jack questions. "This is where you come when you…" Jack trails off, not sure of how to bring up the subject of death and new life which comes with being a Time Lord.

"Regenerate?" the Doctor completes the sentence for Jack. "Yes. Actually, I haven't had a chance to ask you what you think about my new look. Rose thinks I look old and geeky, she doesn't say it but she thinks it. She did say I looked 'stuffy' once though. I don't think I look stuffy though. Do you think I look stuffy?"

"Not in them plimsolls, no." Jack replies, chuckling to himself slightly and this only encourages the Doctor.

"And what about the glasses?" the Doctor asks, putting them on. "I can easily fix my eyes so I don't need them but I kinda like them. But if Rose or Mickey tease me just one more time about these glasses I might just get rid of them."

"Who, the glasses or Rose and Mickey?" Jack quips before quickly adding his honest answer. "No, I like your glasses. They make you look sophisticated. They make you look cute."

"Then the glasses are definitely staying… wait! Cute? You mean geeky don't you?" the Doctor teases.

"Cute… geeky, what's the difference? Actually, what is the difference?" Jack genuinely asks before bringing himself back on-topic. "Nah, I like your new look. It makes you look smart. Dress-wise and Intelligence-wise." The Doctor and Jack share a sweet smile before Jack cynically adds, "Although, you can't actually be that smart if you've got a crush on me."

"Oh I wouldn't say that." The Doctor defends. "Okay, so I admit it might not be the most clever thing I've ever done but I still think it's a good thing."

"Well, all I can say is that it's good you've got two hearts because if you like me you are inevitably going to get one broken." Jack shakes his head because even though he doesn't want it to happen the Doctor is bound to realise he's too good for Jack. Jack just has to wait. "Especially when you see who I really am."

"Ah yes, and who **ARE** you exactly?" the Doctor asks, his voice slightly higher through curiosity and the attempt to sound light even though it is such a loaded question, which Jack can't answer. He doesn't know who he is only what and in his eyes what he is is lowly, cruel, heart-breaking and bad news. Anticipating this reply the Doctor is quick to respond with, "Well now you can be who you want to be. Reinvent yourself."

"Clothes don't make the man." Jack replies. "I should know. I've worn plenty of costumes in my time." And the Doctor is reminded of when they were first introduced. 1941. London Blitz. The Captain wore that costume, wore that uniform very well. Even the hair. But nevertheless, it was still just a role. Just another role.

"Every outfit is a costume." The Doctor concedes. "But you get to choose the character." The Doctor grins, leaning into Jack just a little and Jack smiles at that idea. He knows what he wants to be; he just doesn't know how to achieve it. He could never be all he wants… but that's no reason to stop him trying.

Before the Doctor's astonished eyes Jack sprints down the rails and rails of clothes, trying to comprehend the sheer size of the room. He runs around wildly for about ten minutes before eventually slowing down to take a closer look. He soon runs back to the Doctor, who hasn't moved, carrying a completely Scottish outfit. Kilt, sporran, everything!

"Is this yours?" Jack asks in a distinctly Scottish accent.

"Ach no. It belonged to Jamie; he's an old companion of mine. That was a long time ago." The Doctor replies in an equally Scottish accent, which seems to throw both men.

"I didnae know…" Jack clears his voice, trying to quit speaking in the Scottish accent and switch back to the American one but it is more difficult than he'd anticipated. "I ne'er knew you could…" cough, "speak with a Scot accent."

"I ne'er knew you could!" It seems the Doctor is also having problems shuffling off the Scottish accent too.

"Aye, well I'm from the United Kingdom Colony dash two. The Scottish part. It's just the rest of the Universe speak American so I had to learn. Universal translators and the likes dunnae decipher the Scottish accent and we dunnae all have psychic ships to translate for us." Jack explains, revelling in the Scottish now.

"I dunnae know where I got it from." The Doctor's brow creases. "I mustae got it from ma Ma's side. She was human."

"Scottish?"

"Not particularly, no." The Doctor says and there are a few moments of silence as they try to work it out but then another outfit catches Jack's eyes so he throws the tartan in the direction of the Doctor before running off. He returns seconds later in a Humphrey Bogart style hat and overcoat, looking every part the movie star.

"You know Doctor, I think this is going to be the start of a beautiful friendship." He quotes using Bogart's voice. The Doctor gives a weak smile, which grows as he realises his plan is working. Jack dumps the hat and the overcoat at the Doctor's feet before rushing off to find more.

The Doctor makes a mental note to the TARDIS to add all the clothes he likes into Jack's bedroom, the Doctor has had the TARDIS keep it exactly the same since… since, and whilst she was at it she could recreate Sarah-Jane's old bedroom too. Jack seems particularly fond of Sarah-Jane but the Doctor doesn't have time to question that now because Jack is running towards him, looking very excited and holding a shirt in his hands.

"I want this shirt! Please can I have this shirt? I love this shirt! This is an amazing shirt! Please, please can I have this shirt? It's so… I love it! please? Pretty please? Pretty please with slices of retingato on top?" Jack pleads like a little kid. How could the Doctor refuse him? He can't and the grin Jack gives him in return is blinding.

The shirt in question is a bright pink shirt with silver question marks all over it. The shirt is made from a silk-like material and suits Jack perfectly and with permission from the Doctor, Jack slowly puts it on, revelling in the way the material feels against his skin. It feels wonderful! And the Doctor can't help but revel in the way the shirt clings to Jack in all the right places.

"Whose shirt did this used to be?" Jack smiles, whilst finding some tight white trousers to put on. "Doctor?" It isn't until Jack has gotten the trousers on and then a few moments after that that the Doctor even remembers what the question was. A few seconds later before he remembers how to speak.

"Erm… actually it's an old shirt of mine. A LONG time ago, several lifetimes ago."

"Huh." Jack huffs as he finds some black shoes with a small silver heel just his size. "Colourful character."

"You don't think I'm colourful?" the Doctor asks playfully but the sombre look on Jack's face makes his blood run cold.

"I don't know. And I don't intend to find out." Jack severely tells him, keeping his face expressionless and his words cold even as his heart is breaking. "I've got an outfit now. I'm ready to go."

"No." the Doctor whispers but Jack still hears him.

"I have to. You know that. You know it's for the best." Jack insists and the Doctor wants to argue because he knows it isn't for the best, it's for the worst, for everybody. But the Doctor can't say a word. "Say goodbye to Rose and Sarah-Jay for me, and tell Sarah-Jay that I will get K-9 back to her."

"How will you be able to find us?"

"This is K-9's home. He'll be able to track you. I'll just point him in the right direction, then go the opposite way." Jack says finitely. Before leaving. He gets as far as the door but the door won't open.

"She won't let you go. She doesn't want you to go." The Doctor tells him, silently adding that he doesn't want Jack to go either. "Where will you go? What will you do?"

"What does it matter to you! Just let me go! Make her let me go! She'll listen to you." Jack lashes out but the Doctor knows he's lashing out of fear and doesn't even flinch, his hands planted firmly in his pockets.

"She's a good judge of character. And she'll need a good mechanic onboard. She wants you do stay."

"She's got you! You can't make me stay against my will!" Jack screams and when the Doctor doesn't reply he opens up a panel in the wall and starts to open the door manually. The Doctor hadn't replied because he's busy thinking and he's still thinking when the door is opened and Jack is walking out for good.

"Take Sarah-Jane with you." The Doctor explodes, hating the words as soon as they're out of his mouth but he is desperate and it's worked. Jack has stopped, and is turning around.

"Excuse me?"

"Take Sarah-Jane with you." The Doctor repeats, refusing to show any emotion and keep his voice steady and the tone even.

"But she loves TARDIS! This is her home! She belongs here!" Jacks pleads whilst the Doctor forces himself not to say the words, 'So do you.'

"She's your responsibility, you brought her here. She stopped being my responsibility the day I left her on Earth. Either she goes with you or you stay here with her. It's your choice but I really think she deserves better than that shell of a ship of yours." Jack turns white.

The Doctor knows he has hurt Jack, especially with his comment about Jack's ship. The Doctor hates that he can stoop so low but he's doing this for Jack's sake too. He can't bare the thought of Jack being alone again. He wants to help Jack but to do that he's got to get Jack to stay first. That is how the Doctor rationalises his behaviour. It doesn't make him feel any prouder though, and it doesn't erase the pain in Jack's beautiful blue eyes.

With a resigned sigh Jack turns and tries the door again which the TARDIS has now closed. And she's keeping it closed. "Relax. I'm just going to salvage what I can from the ship then I'll come straight back." He insists and it isn't until the TARDIS has scanned his mind and knows he's telling the truth that she eventually opens the door.

The Doctor doesn't know but Jack has actually convinced TARDIS to store his ship. She did so reluctantly, knowing he intends to leave as soon as he has fixed her, but she has read his mind and knew how much this means to him. She couldn't deny him and besides, the ship is so badly damaged that it will take even a mechanic as gifted as Jack some time to fix her.

A few hours later Jack trudges through the TARDIS control room with a box full of books and machinery. And sitting on top is a decapitated teddy bear that the monsters beheaded to get at the data chips inside, but Jack is keeping the teddy, hoping to fix it when he gets the chance.

The box is rather large and although Jack is strong enough it is hard to manoeuvre a box that big. He trips over the uneven panels on the floor and the box spills its load. The Doctor helps put the miscellaneous objects back in the box. Jack gives a weak smile before retreating back to his bedroom with the box. The Doctor knows that although Jack is being polite, he is still being kept here against his will, and he isn't speaking to the Doctor.

**End of Chapter 3**


	5. Chapter 4

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 04. Easing the Tension part 1.

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: Jack offers to ease the tension between him and the Doctor by the only way he knows how.

Rating: mild R (just for this chapter though)

Word Count: 3, 275 ish

Warning: over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them. There may be the odd spoiler for Doctor Who episodes as well but I think I'm being rather cryptic. Also, I've kind of created my own cannon and more of a back-story for the characters, Jack specifically, this series but I hope you'll accept it.

Disclaimer: sigh I have no claim to pretty much anything, least of all Doctor Who. sigh

**Easing the Tension part 1**

Jack is in the TARDIS' library, that's no surprise. Whenever left to his own devises he'll always retreat to the library, reading all the novels and poetry he can lay his hands on, listening to all the music in TARDIS' databanks and watching all the television programmes and films that TARDIS knows of, even a few she doesn't in the form of DVDs salvaged from his ship.

What IS a surprise is that the Doctor has been watching him for the last half-hour. He'd come into the TARDIS for a reason… to pick out a Sukaran book he thought Jack might enjoy, he hadn't expected Jack to be there. He thought Jack would be asleep, everybody else is. It was a foolish thought of the Doctor. Jack never sleeps.

It is all the others' fault, the Doctor thinks bitterly. When the others are awake Jack is too busy trying to please them, trying to make them happy. He plays football with Mickey or they watch old games on this enormous TV in a room specifically build by Jack for that purpose; he goes clubbing with Rose in a bar he helped the TARDIS design, adding hyperholographical beings which he programmed to make it more authentic for her; he treats Sarah-Jane like a goddess, plying her with good food and wine Jack won't partake of because he feels unworthy, giving her full body massages and reading her the most beautiful poetry.

He's also created another brand-new room in the TARDIS that is solely a news archive full of visual images and journalist reports of historical events throughout the universe and throughout the timeline, mainly for Sarah-Jane's benefit but also to educate Mickey and Mickey has actually proved to be an attentive student. Jack is a very good teacher. He's also a very good friend to the others but he tends to avoid the Doctor, perhaps he think it'll be easier that way, the Doctor doesn't really know Jack's reasoning. All the Doctor knows is that in his mind, he doesn't have enough time with Jack and Jack doesn't have enough time to himself.

Only now the others are asleep and Jack does have time to himself, to do what he enjoys. He's watching an old Earth DVD. Shakespeare. A Musical. 'Love Labours Lost'. He's smiling, laughing at the gags and the Doctor is awestruck by his beauty. He's sitting cross-legged on the floor, the TV only about a metre in front of his eyes, some kind of ancient-looking 21st century portable computer on his lap and he's typing, currently chatting with this teenage Earth boy he'd rescued from bullies in the 23rd Century. His smile is so wide, so beautiful.

Jack continues to laugh, well… more like giggle, at the movie. He even laughs at the physical gags even though his eyes are firmly fixed to the computer. He keeps flicking through screens on his computer changing from the conversation with the boy to the text of the play, reviews of the film whilst writing down his own Shakespearian essay on the genre of 'Love Labours Lost' and its lost sequel, all whilst never missing a beat of the conversation or movie. Whoever said Earthmen couldn't multi-task obviously hadn't seen Jack at work, but then again… Jack is unique.

Once his conversation with the boy is over, he contacts a female Pomplathian he hasn't seen for a while and after that, a Gladik who once saved his life. Just as the movie's credits roll he manages to tie up all the loose ends on his computer before shutting it down. He gets up to choose another movie he wants to watch (or rather, listen) and pick up a book he wants to read. That's when he spies the Doctor, lurking in the doorway.

"How long have you been here?" Jack asks, feeling rather self-conscious. He's wearing blue and white striped pyjamas that are far too large for him but they're comfortable. He only wears them when everybody else is asleep because although he thinks he must look hideous in them they make him feel relaxed, at ease, snug. Safe. They're like a security blanket, he doesn't actually sleep in them. He doesn't actually sleep.

"Oh…" the Doctor starts to shuffle his feet awkwardly, looking down at the floor trying to pretend he hasn't spend the last hour or so watching him. "not long." He lies.

"Did you come in for anything specific?" Jack asks, preoccupied and scanning the bookshelves for a book he hasn't read. He glances at the Doctor. "What do you want?" he repeats, a little smile tugging at his lips before he sees a book on the bottom shelf that takes his fancy and burst into a grin. He bends over to get the book and the Doctor can't help but stare. Unfortunately, he stares too long and Jack catches him. He looks surprised at first but then covers up that surprise with a smirk. "Or should that be, 'WHO do you want?'" The Doctor still is unable to respond. "Why did you really come here, Doc?"

"erm…" the Doctor tries his best to remember and also remember how to speak whilst he's at it. Thankfully, he does. "I was looking for a book. A Sukaran book about their myths and legends. I'm in it, actually but… yeah. That's what I was looking for."

"Oh." Jack gasps, scanning the bookshelves before realising that a book of that description is already in his hands. "Is this is?"

"Yeah, actually it is." Jack tries to give it to the Doctor but the Doctor refuses. "Oh no, I just… I thought you might like it. I… I … I was going to give it to you but it looks like you've already beaten me to it." The Doctor tries to laugh but as soon as Jack smiles the laugh seems to get caught in the Doctor's throat.

"That's really sweet." Jack replies sincerely. "Thank you."

"You'r… you're w… wel… welcome." The Doctor stutters. Actually stutters and he realises he should be going now. As soon as he can get his feet to co-operate. But when he does manage to get his feet to move and as he starts leaving, Jack calls out to him.

"But that's not the real reason you came." And the Doctor knows he should just keep on walking, just a few more steps and he's be out of the door, but he doesn't. He stops and turns around. "You and I both know the reason you came here tonight." Jack's eyes are smouldering and the Doctor finds himself drawn in like a moth to the flame. "I know you feel it too. This lust between us. This heat. This want. This desire!" the Doctor nods before coming to his senses.

"Nnn. I mean, no. There is nothing between us! Nothing whatsoever!" and who knew the Doctor's voice could be so shaky? Or squeaky?

"Now we both know that isn't true." Jack dismisses the Doctor's arguments so easily, his voice smooth and husky at the same time. It's indescribable. It's hypnotic and seductive and the Doctor can't remember the last time his hearts beat so erratically. "I know you want me. And I most certainly want you." It sends a shudder down the Doctor's spine.

"What are you, are you suggesting?" The Doctor breathes, proud of the fact he's managed to keep his voice (relatively) steady and even more proud that he's managed to keep enough blood pumping to his brain that he can remember how to speak.

"I'm suggesting we have sex." Jack says simply and the Doctor's hearts skip a beat. "One night. No strings attached. That's what you need. One wild, passionate, fantastic night and then you'll be cured."

"Cured?" the Doctor queries but the thought is soon ripped from his mind as suddenly, from nowhere, Jack's mouth is nipping at his jaw. The Doctor desperately tries to manoeuvre Jack so he can kiss his mouth but Jack won't let him.

"You'll be cured, I promise." Jack growls, pulling at the Doctor's tie, unfastening the Doctor's waistcoat and the Doctor doesn't even notice as it falls to the floor. All he can feel is Jack's mouth on his neck and Jack's hands pulling his shirt out of his trousers before snaking underneath to explore bare skin. The Doctor can't help but moan at how good this feels.

But he wants more. He wants his own hands on Jack's beautifully pale skin. He wants to see Jack's body, all the superficial scars healed but the Doctor still remembers them and he knows that in some ways they're still there. He wants to trace them with his hands, with his tongue, as if by tracing them he can fix them, heal them. Most scars can be healed with love.

Jack's mouth is now gradually brushing butterfly kisses down the Doctor's chest. one hand on the Doctor's waist and the other on his back, slowly getting lower and lower. The Doctor feels like he's going to spontaneously combust at any second because the heat is unbearable. Yet it still isn't enough.

All the Doctor can think about is Jack's pyjama bottoms. The only thing holding them up is a piece of string folded up in the waist and tied into a bow. If the Doctor was just to tug at it slightly…

So, with shaking hands, the Doctor starts to reach out but then stops. He comes to his senses. In one freak moment of clarity he can see everything and he realises that he doesn't want this, not this way.

He doesn't want this to be a one-off thing. Jack is wrong. This won't cure him, it won't help him. It won't help either of them. One night of ecstasy and what then? The Doctor can't even think about it! It's bad enough he's got the memories from the first time, he isn't going to repeat that mistake. He doesn't want the memories if he can't have Jack. No, it can't happen like this. Jack doesn't even want it, not really, he's just doing this so the Doctor can move on.

Jack is on his knees before the Doctor, his hands fumbling with the buttons and the zipper of his fly. The Doctor wishes so hard that he could just close his eyes and let this happens because it feels SO good. Except the Doctor's eyes are open and he can't ignore the tears in Jack's eyes, he can't ignore the cotton pyjamas swamping Jack, he can't ignore the fact Jack looks like a lost and scared little boy. So the Doctor takes a deep breath, gathering the strength to speak.

"No Jack. Stop." Jack looks up at him, his blue eyes glittering with unshed tears. He is physically shaking and looks so insecure. He feels unwanted, but now the Doctor knows he's made the right decision. "Stop."

Jack does stop and the Doctor backs out of the room, hastily doing up his shirt buttons as he goes. He tries to fasten his trousers but it isn't possible in his current state. He leaves without another word. Jack is still on his knees.

"Sarah-Jane, wake up! Please wake up!" the Doctor desperately bangs on her bedroom door.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she opens the door and her eyes widen at the sight she finds. The Doctor's hair is dishevelled; his face is flushed. He's without his coat, waistcoat and tie and all the buttons of his shirt are fastened into the wrong holes. His trousers are fastened but they look like they are breaking a few laws of physics to remain so. It looks painful. "Come in."

The Doctor pushes past her before collapsing onto her bed. He then lets out an impressive sigh. Sarah-Jane is still in the doorway.

"What happened?" she asks concerned.

"Jack." Is all the Doctor has to say.

"Right." Sarah-Jane nods, moving the Doctor's legs over so she can sit on the edge of her bed.

"He offered to have sex with me." the Doctor explains, sounding as though he's still in shock.

"Right." Sarah-Jane nods. She's silent for a moment before asking, "You didn't, did you?"

"What do you think!" he snaps at her, referring her to the bulge in his trousers. She glances but then looks away almost immediately.

"Right." She nods. "Sorry." The Doctor sits up at that.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you." The Doctor apologises.

"It's understandable, under the circumstances." Sarah-Jane sympathises and suddenly the Doctor is eternally grateful for having a friend as kind, forgiving and understanding as her. He hugs her. "You did the right thing, Doctor." She tells him, returning the hug. "You know that, don't you?"

"I know." He replies, reluctantly letting go of the embrace.

"It must have taken a lot of effort though. To resist." Her tone is soft and gentle.

"I've slept with him before." The Doctor confides in her and her eyes widen but she doesn't say anything. She waits for the Doctor to continue. "before I regenerated. I've had him once but all that has done has made me want him more, 'as if increase of appetite had grown by what it fed on.' I'm not even sure if Jack remembers!" the Doctor scoffs painfully. "But I do. I remember each moan, each touch, each kiss. But I was in a different body then. You have no idea how much I want to make love to him in this body, how much I want him to make love to me…" he trails off, trying to get a handle on his emotions.

"I couldn't go through with it this time though. It was pretty clear he was only doing it for my sake. It makes me sick thinking about it! But when I told him to stop… he looked so dejected. It's like he uses sex to judge his worth and that makes me feel even worse. He's worth so much more than that." The Doctor sighs.

"You left him. Is he okay?" Sarah-Jane enquires and the Doctor feels guilty. He shouldn't have left him like that. Knowing Jack, he'll take it the worst possible way. The Doctor asks TARDIS telepathically and when she replies the Doctor lets out a laugh. A bitter, dry and pained laugh.

"He's watching 'Moulin Rouge'! How's that for irony?" the Doctor sniffs.

"'The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.'" She recites. "You know, I'm seeing a lot of parallels between you two and that film."

"What? With him as Christian?"

"No. With you as Christian, with him as Satine." She smiles and the Doctor tries to smile but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"I can't believe he would do that! I can't believe he could say that!" the Doctor exclaims and it isn't until he notices Sarah-Jane's curious looks he explains. "He said after one night with him, I'd be cured!"

"Cured of what?"

"I don't know, but I think he meant of my love for him!" he recalls in disbelief. "He still thinks this is just a crush!"

"Are you so sure it isn't?" she asks carefully. The Doctor sighs before laying back down on the bed. Sarah-Jane does the same next to him.

"I caught him coming out of the shower the other day. Towel fastened around his waist; dripping wet; some soap suds still in his hair; the odd bit of shaving cream still on his face. He looked so beautiful, and you know what my first urge was?" he can feel Sarah-Jane shaking her head next to him. "My first urge was to serenade him with the song, 'just the way you look tonight'!" Sarah-Jane giggles at that and even the Doctor laughs.

"I'm sorry Doctor." She tells him after she's calmed herself down a bit but the laughter still largely evident in her voice. "That is awfully sweet. And I'm sure Jack would think that terribly romantic. If it wasn't directed at him, I mean." She laughs a bit more before asking, "You didn't, did you?" her voice a strange mixture of sympathy and admiration… but most of all, laughter.

"No. I was too busy dumbstruck to say anything in the end. He has a habit of doing that to me. Rendering me speechless. I know! Me, speechless!" the Doctor laughs, "He just gave me a nod then walked right by me and I couldn't utter a sound!" they both laugh but then the Doctor turns on his side, a move Sarah-Jane mimics so they are now facing each other. The mood is now serious.

"Sarah-Jane, can I tell you something I haven't told anybody else? I haven't even told Rose."

"You know you can." She reassures him but he still pauses for a few seconds.

"This is my thirteenth regeneration. I won't regenerate anymore. After this life, there is no more for me."

"Oh." She acknowledges sadly. "Isn't there any way you could…"

"Yes." Is his curt response, "The Time Lords are dead. I make up the rules now. I don't have to die if I don't want to."

"Then why?"

"I've lived a long life, Sarah-Jane. I've lived a good life. 900 years and counting. Everything has its time and everything must die. I've still got this life though and I plan on living it well. But I don't want to drag out the process, I'm going to age and die. The way it should be."

"Oh," Sarah-Jane is silent for a moment as she thinks. "What is the real reason?"

"Jack." The Doctor concedes. "I've got this future, planned out for us. The two of us. Where we grow old together. And it is amazing! Even as he grows old I swear he grows more beautiful. Even as age changes his appearance, he still has the ability to fascinate me. His eyes, his eyes still stay the same though. Still so blue, still so sparkling, still so beautiful.

"It's amazing because the older we get the more content I am," He smiles. "I'm learning that it's not all about the places you visit. It isn't all about power and wealth and space and time. It's all about people. Brilliant, stupid, simple, complex, individual people!" He grins.

"That isn't to say we don't explore, because we do. We'll carry on exploring as long as our legs will let us and then some. But most if it is just visiting people we've met, people he's befriended. It all comes back to him. If he's happy, I'm happy. It's that simple.

"That's not to say we don't argue or disagree on things. We can have some pretty big bust-ups because we're both so passionate, and stubborn. When we fallout we fallout big time but we always come back to each other because it hurts to be apart. We always forgive each other because life is too short not to. And when we're young, making up is also very passionate but as we get older we can make up by hugging or even just," he laughs fondly, "gazing into each other's eyes.

"Oh Sarah-Jane. I know this is hopeless of me but even if this doesn't happen or especially if it doesn't, I don't want another life if it's without Jack. That's why this will be my last." He declares firmly. She understands completely.

"You really are in love." She whispers, snuggling up to him on the bed.

"Yeah. And I don't care how long it takes, I'm gonna make him realise that too." He promises before falling asleep in Sarah-Jane's arms.

**End of Chapter 4**


	6. Chapter 5

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 05. The Galaxy Cup

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: Jack takes Mickey to the Galaxy Cup. The Doctor tags along too

Rating: PG for extremely mild sexual reference and a few even milder curse words

Word Count: just under 7,000! (That's a LOT for me!)

Warning: Once again I'm creating my own back-story for Jack so I just thought I'd warn you. Also, angst galore and a very bad Scottish accent again. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

A/N: This was supposed to be the Sixth chapter but I wanted to post it as near to the World Cup final as possible. I don't think it upsets the timeline of my fic too much but I just thought I should let you know.

Feedback: Extremely appreciated

**The Galaxy Cup**

"erm," Jack pulls on the sleeves of his red satin shirt. "Doctor, I was wondering…" he trails off, unwilling to ask the Doctor for anything. Mickey, on the other hand, isn't.

"Jack's been telling me about the World Cup…"

"Galaxy Cup." Jack corrects, before stuffing his hands in the pocket of his black cotton flares and looking down at the floor. Mickey just shakes his head fondly and smiles.

"Right. The Galaxy Cup." He acknowledges. "In the year 7,700. He's seen it before and says it was really good. He keeps telling me how good the sport is in the future and how he'd like to show me a match for real."

"Everybody could go if they wanted." Jack interrupts. "There are journalists from all around the galaxy so Sarah-Jane would fit right in and even though Rose might not want to watch the game I know this club where there's a rave on 26 hours a day and it is bursting at the seams with the mot lively, interesting and fun people." He stops abruptly, his tone a lot quieter when he starts to speak again, thank goodness for the Doctor's sensitive hearing. "But you don't have to take us if you don't …"

"Which game?" the Doctor grins, cutting off Jack's self-reproach. Jack is slightly taken aback.

"Th…th… the Final." He stutters. "Hexalugarcinia versus the United Kingdom Colony point Four."

"Of course!" the Doctor exclaims, beaming away before he realises he needs to know one more thing. "Where?"

"Both teams are playing away. Saliraxiphilion is the planet and Pavenakuso is the stadium." Jack informs the Doctor helpfully, not judging the Doctor for not knowing his sport like Mickey is.

"Fantastic! Jack, help me with the TARDIS controls." The Doctor orders.

"Great! Nice one Doc! Thanks!" and this is the most animated the Doctor has ever seen Mickey. Jack isn't quite so animated.

"You mean we're going now?" Jack asks still unsure, still insecure.

"Don't see why not." The Doctor grins.

"Well, shouldn't we tell Rose and Sarah-Jay first?" Jack asks because he doesn't want them to feel left out but he also doesn't want the Doctor to feel as though he's criticizing and contradicting him.

"Ohhhh, Mickey can do that. You can help me set in the course. It'll be fun!" the Doctor's eyes are twinkling with excitement and when those eyes meet Jack's, Jack bursts into a grin and bursts into action. Mickey trudges off, not really looking forward to telling Rose so he decides to tell Sarah-Jane first and then let **_her _**tell Rose.

* * *

Moments later and the TARDIS has landed in Saliraxiphilion, yet the gang is still in the TARDIS control room being briefed by Captain Jack on what to expect.

"Anybody who is going to watch the game better wear a shirt. I assume you'll be supporting the United Kingdom Colony point four so I've got us all shirts, I'm already wearing mine." He says with pride, modelling the blue and purple patterned shirts, the word Harkness in gold numbers along with the number 14 (his age when first watching the match). "Here's your shirt, Mickey." He passes Mickey the shirt before realising he's mixed up the 'Smith's' and gives Sarah-Jane the number 9 shirt and Mickey the one with Mickey's birthday on the back.

"I don't want a shirt!" Rose announces, more pointedly than she needs to. "I don't want to watch the stupid football." She sulks and Jack is hurt because he never wanted Rose to be left out or for her to be angry. Sarah-Jane takes her under her wing and Mickey desperately tells her about the clubs there, which then makes her storm off to her room to pick out an outfit in which she can party in. She's determined to have fun without them. Jack is still upset by her reaction though.

"Where's my shirt?" the Doctor asks trying to cheer Jack up. Jack attempts a smile whilst passing the Doctor his shirt but doesn't really succeed. The Doctor looks at the back, at the 'WHO' in gold letters and at the number. "41?"

"Yeah. 1941. The year we met." Jack explains, not noticing how the Doctor's expression softens at that. Mickey does, and scoffs.

"Erm, I've got a few things to do outside first so I'll do that whilst you're getting changed but I'll meet you outside the TARDIS in five minutes, okay?"

"Jack, we're not gonna leave without you." Mickey tells him before joking, "You've got the tickets." He pauses. "You do have the tickets, don't you? How did you get tickets?"

"TARDIS managed to conjure up some, a whole booth was unused in the game so we aren't stealing some-one else's tickets. Wait, I better give these to you for safe-keeping." He hands the tickets over to Mickey. "I don't know how TARDIS did it but she is a genius and I love her for it!"

"She loves you too!" and the Doctor never thought he could be jealous of his own ship but at the moment they're competing over the same guy. And TARDIS is winning. "She'd refuse to leave you behind again. Don't worry, we'll still be here." The Doctor reassures him but gets the feeling Jack can't thoroughly believe him, even though he wants to. Jack nods then walks out of the TARDIS doors. He waits outside for a moment, almost expecting it to disappear and when it doesn't he sets off to make sure Rose will get a V.I.P status at any of the clubs she attends and also to snag a key to the Lexicon building, the centre of journalism, so he can give it to Sarah-Jane.

Meanwhile, in TARDIS, Sarah-Jane has already gone to her room to get changed. Mickey gives the Doctor a knowing and unnerving look before shaking his head and chuckling away to himself then finally going to his room to get changed. The Doctor stays where his is and takes of his blue and brown striped suit shirt to replace it with the football one, then he puts on his suit jacket. Then he takes off his suit jacket because he wants to show off the back of the football shirt the Captain had designed, specifically for him. Then he goes off to find the Captain.

* * *

"Okay, I'll just quickly brief you on the stadium." Jack tells the Doctor, Mickey and Sarah-Jane whilst leading the way. "Pavenakuso is the best stadium in the Galaxy. Great design! It holds over 4 million and not just humans. It's designed for aliens, multiforms and all intelligent creatures.

"Each booth is pure luxury, very expensive normally but this is the Galaxy Cup final! These tickets are like latinum bricks! The only reason I got to see the game before was because my brother was a Time Agent, a very good one and the Agency gave him two tickets as a reward. That's how I can tell you how amazing this match is, it's the best game I've ever been to. I can hardly wait!" he is grinning like a loon, almost squealing with excitement and the Doctor thinks he is just adorable. Jack contains his excitement and continues to talk eagerly.

"But my favourite part is that each booth comes with isolinearoptimagnificum controls so you decide what to focus in on. You can zoom in on the action, you can even zoom in on the crowd or you can focus on any of the players that catch your eye and the United Kingdom Colony point Four is a very attractive team indeed. Where has Sarah-Jay gone?" Jack turns around now to find a bewildered Doctor and Mickey but undeniably no Sarah-Jane.

"I don't know. She was here a minute ago." Mickey recalls before voicing his confusion. "How did you know she was gone?"

"Sarah-Jay is a curious girl…"

"Woman." The Doctor corrects him but Jack corrects the Doctor, too happy and excited to feel guilt for once and the Doctor realises that that's a good thing and Jack was right to begin with.

"Age is relative. You should have seen her when I took her to the library of Alexandra. She has the curiosity and the enthusiasm and the imagination of a little girl, that's why I like her so much." The Doctor's smile slightly falters at that but Jack's just grows wider. "Anyway, if she was here she wouldn't have let me ramble on like that. She wouldn't have been able to stop herself from asking me questions. She is a journalist after all. It's just a shame I didn't…" Jack puts his hand into the pocket of his blue sweat-pant to find only his cell-phone there. "Damn, that's my girl." He laughs.

"What has she done now?" the Doctor asks with a weary voice and rolls his eyes.

"Nothing." He insists before realising that they're waiting for a further explanation. "She just borrowed my key to the Lexicon building. I was going to give it to her anyway it's just she beat me to it." He chuckles.

"She picked your pocket!" Mickey exclaims.

"Like I said, that's my girl." Jack winks before getting out his cell-phone and dialling Sarah-Jane's number. Surprisingly, she answers but doesn't give Jack a chance to speak.

"Hello Jack, I hope you don't mind but I just got chatting to a rather nice young alien man called Krieno and it just so happens that he's the editor for the 'Galaxy Sports Review' and he's interested in having an Earth journalist's opinion on the match. He's offered to let me share his booth and let me write a piece. We're going to the Lexicon before and after though and I'm thinking that I may stay for a while until the party dies down and I've got a feeling that'll last a long while so don't wait up. I'll just call you when I'm done and you can pick me up. With your help the Doctor can fly the TARDIS much more accurately. See you later, and enjoy the game." She hangs up.

"Is she safe?" Mickey asks.

"This is Sarah we're talking about." The Doctor reminds him. "It's whoever she befriended you should be worried about…"

"Krieno." Jack recalls. "She's got good instinct. He's onto bigger and better things AND he is a perfect gentleman. I studied him when I was a kid, idolised him. He's my hero because he winds up playing 39 sports all over the Galaxy, reviewing even more and he is always firm but fair. It's good to know the future is safe with people like him at the helm. He uses sport to bring war-torn planets together, uses his passion to bring peace. And he never let his green skin and 5 eyes get in the way. This guy ends up being a legend, in the future and in the past. Sarah-Jay really is a good judge of character."

"Of course she is." The Doctor barely knows what he's saying because he's basking in Jack's beauty. "she ended up exploring the Universe with you, didn't she Jack?"

"Okay, so generally she's a good judge of character. I'm the exception to the rule." Jack grimaces whilst Mickey and the Doctor share a frustrated sigh before Mickey changes the subject.

"Looks like it's just us guys then."

"Yeah." Jack sighs.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Jack replies too quickly. Except Mickey and the Doctor are both staring at him and when Jack starts walking, they don't follow so he has to stop. He tells them nervously because he knows it's stupid and thinks they'll laugh at him but it's clear they're not moving until he talks so he doesn't have a choice. "I just… It's… it feels as though I'm excluding the girls. Maybe not Sarah-Jay but Rose hates…"

"Forget about her. What do you want?" as Rose' boyfriend, Mickey is allowed to say that but it doesn't mean the Doctor isn't thinking it. "Do you want to be here?"

"Of course I do! This is…" Jack sighs, "I don't deserve to be here now but I am grateful. I am! But I don't want to exclude anybody. I want to make sure everybody's included. I want everybody to be happy."

"It is impossible to please everybody all the time." The Doctor advises him and it's good advice, and in Jack's heart he knows it. He just can't bring himself to believe it.

"I know that it's just… no girls." He sighs. "I wish Maria was here, she'd love this." He lets out an even bigger sigh. "maybe I'll write to her when we get back to TARDIS, yeah." He lets out a shaky smile but the more he thinks about it, about her, the more his smile becomes genuine. The Doctor accepts that Jack has a past, has history, but it hurts him to realise that he hardly knows any of it.

"Are you alright now?" the Doctor asks softly, tilting his head.

"I'm fine." Jack responds automatically, finitely. It's obvious he isn't but he doesn't want to bore the others with the details about how this place brings back memories of his brother. He's homesick. He misses his mom, his dad, his brother, his partner, his daughter but they're gone and he can't change that. Well, he **could **but there are morals and implications and consequences and Jack feels torn for even thinking about it. In he's mind he's selfish for even considering it whilst also being a coward for not doing it.

He misses Maria too; she's almost like a sister to him. He wishes he could see more of her, except it's probably the distance between them that has kept them so close. He's cursed and he knows it. Everybody he ever gets close to, close enough to trust, trusts enough to love, everybody leaves him one way or the other. He's determined not to let it happen again.

"I'm hungry." The Doctor announces, even though he isn't. "I'll get some food." He runs off to get three portions of extremely overpriced chips but the price doesn't matter because they're pumped full of mood-enhancing chemicals, designed to make the spectators pay more, but Jack desperately needs cheering up and as for the Doctor… he can barely breathe with empathy. It physically hurts him to see Jack so depressed and although this isn't exactly a new feeling for the Doctor, it is definitely a new intensity.

He watches Jack for a while, not willing to interrupt the conversation Jack's having with Mickey. Mickey's actually managing to get him enthusiastic again by talking about the game and if Mickey isn't careful he's going to have heard the entire commentary for the game before he's seen it. That's when the Doctor steps in.

"I'm sorry I was so down earlier." Jack apologises immediately but Mickey and the Doctor shrug it off. "I guess I'm just tired or cranky or something." He realises he's made a mistake as both Mickey and the Doctor rush to tell him he should sleep more so he pre-empts them with, "but I'm fine now."

"Right. Sure." The Doctor reluctantly and sceptically nods. "Well, I got us all chips." Mickey accepts his gratefully before stuffing his face.

"I'm not hungry." Jack dismisses.

"Jack, you haven't slept in days, you haven't eaten in days!" the Doctor can't help voicing his concern. "You really need to start taking better care of yourself." The Doctor stares at him, waiting for him to take the bag of chips but Jack is too busy biting his tongue. He's too busy preventing any of the sarcastic, confrontational and self-loathing retorts that fill his head from passing his lips.

"Eat your chips, Jack." Mickey tells him before continuing to stuff his face with his own. There's something about Mickey's tone of voice that makes Jack smile. He accepts the chips and makes a point of eating one. It's only then that he realises how hungry he is and finishes the chips in a matter of seconds. It is only then that the Doctor relaxes and starts to eat his own.

"So, tell us more about football in the future." Mickey asks, causing Jack to burst into a grin. Jack is glad to, walking and talking as he does so.

"For a start, it isn't football. It's soccer because not all of the players have feet." The Doctor almost chokes on his chips because Mickey's face is so hilarious. He looks so shocked. "Seriously, the Slugalors are a race without legs yet they rate high in the soccer leagues. They either use their antennae (although they're not allowed to do that for more than 30 seconds at a time because it makes it very difficult to tackle them) or they use their bodies to dribble the ball. Dribble being the operative word because they leave a trail of slime, the ball has to be coated in a slime-neutraliser and so do the shoes of their opponents (assuming, of course, that their opponents have feet) but that's neither here nor there. The Slugalors were eliminated in the 46th round.

"Oh yeah, let me tell you more about the Galaxy Cup. Soccer has been universal ever since before humans set foot on another inhabited planet. First Earth sent probes, telling all intelligence life all about Earth and its customs. Rather foolish actually because it told potential enemies all about Earth's weaknesses but thankfully most of the enemies that did reach Earth only had old information and our technology had improved so greatly they were no longer a threat at all. Erm, anyway…

"By the time Earth started exploring the Galaxy the nearest aliens had got our probes and signals had already learned all about soccer, they tried it and liked it so they told all the races they knew and it was like a ripple effect. It seems soccer really is universal, slight adaptations for the different races but the concept is universal. The more competitive races took to it quicker and the less competitive…learned." They laugh at that but then Jack is suddenly struck with a pang of self-doubt. He stops walking to ask. "Are you really okay with me rambling on like this?

"You're more entertaining than an encyclopaedia." Mickey grunts. "Probably more knowledgeable too." Jack doesn't recognise this as the compliment it was meant to be but he takes it as an insult.

"The Doctor knows all this. I bet I'm boring him. I bet he's sick to death at the sound of my voice."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that." The Doctor says with a shaky laugh and a faltering grin.

"You don't sound so sure."

"Jack, if I wanted you to shut up I would tell you to shut up!" the Doctor explodes before adding in a quieter voice, "I don't want you to shut up." And Mickey scoffs because he's pretty sure the Doctor could listen to Jack talk forever, gladly would do so, and as pathetic as that is Mickey kind of thinks that's sweet. He can't ever remember Rose feeling that way about him.

"Oh." Is Jack's shocked reply, "In that case," Jack starts walking again and the others follow. "The Galaxy Cup was formed in the year 4200 with only about 60 planets playing and it's only expanded since then. By now over 300 planets play and the Galaxy Cup is played every 100 years because it takes 5 years just to reach the final! The games are played all over the Galaxy and it takes some species longer to travel than others. This really is a once in a lifetime experience for humans. And to have an Earth Colony in the final is more life a once in a Time Lord's lifetime experience! I was so happy when we got those tickets. I never stopped to think why." Jack stops because he realises he's in danger of becoming lost in the darkness of his past so he quickly changes the subject.

"Ach, I'm bored of me own voice so ah mind you dunnae mind if ah change it." And this throws Mickey but the Doctor bursts into a grin.

"I dunnae mind if ye do." And Jack's smile lights up brilliantly at that. Mickey just shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head before going along with it.

"Aye, well if ah'm te talk aboot the UK colony point four team, ah may as well use the voice of ma homeland, the UK colony point two."

"Wait, you're from Scotland?" Mickey exclaims and the Doctor feels a surge of pride that he knows something about Jack that Mickey doesn't know, but then Jack shoots Mickey an 'I'll explain later' look and the Doctor has lost his upper hand. He wishes Jack would confide in him the way he confides in Mickey, the way the Doctor confides in Sarah-Jane.

"The UK colony point four is a world of islands, colonised by the over-populated UK." He flips back into his neutral accent whilst he's in encyclopaedia-mode. "That's Scotland, Ireland, England and Wales spread out over an entire planet. And we've got the best players here today, at their very best.

"You've got 'Smith' in goal, I thought you would like that Mickey. So would Sarah-Jay if she was here." Jack quickly moves on. "You've got O'Neill, Fluellen, Johnston and James in defence. There's Jones, Davies, Lyn and Baker in midfield and you've got Stuart, Murphy and Taylor as strikers, and they're very striking indeed." He winks after the last part. "But the game's aboot to start, we've just gotta queue so we can be transported to our booth."

"All these years and the queuing is still as bad as ever!" Mickey grumbles.

"Aye, the British have perfected it to an art form so they didnae get rid of it on the grounds it's one of the very few things they succeed in." The Doctor jokes. Well… half-jokes.

"Besides, for over 4 million people ah think a wee bit of queuing is to be expec…" Jack trails off, his face going a deathly shade of white. It takes a while for the Doctor to realise just what Jack is staring at but he eventually gets it and now he's mesmerised.

Two young boys. The younger only 14 years old, the elder only older by a year or two. They are clearly brothers. The elder boy is so protective of his younger sibling, the younger boy so obviously in awe of his older brother. The Doctor wonders how long it has just been the two of them.

Mickey's eyes narrow in confusion as he points something out to the Doctor. The name on the back of both the brothers' shirt is 'Barrowman' and there isn't a player by that name so it must be…

"A pseudonym." The Doctor explains. "You know, an alias."

"Ah, but which one?" Jack sighs, his tone and accent neutral. The he lets out a strangled laugh. "I look so happy there!"

"You're just a kid!" Mickey exclaims, still trying to come to grips with the whole situation. "Is that your brother? He doesn't look much older than you. And he's a Time Agent? He looks so young!"

"Not really." Is Jack's deadpan reply. "He dies in just eight months time from now." And the Doctor wants to ask a million questions: about the Time Agency, about Jack's brother, about Jack. But Jack is urging them on and soon they're in their booth and Jack is too busy showing Mickey the pre-match entertainment.

The Doctor watches Jack with wary eyes but it seems as though Jack is genuinely happy now. Mickey is proving a captive audience to all that Jack is saying and the two seem so easy in each other's company. The Doctor tries not to be jealous of Mickey, it's a good thing Jack has such a good friend. It's a good thing Jack and Mickey have created such a strong bond because that can only be good for Jack's self-esteem.

Only, the Doctor can't help but wish Jack would spend as much time with him as he does Mickey, Sarah-Jane or even Rose! He can't help the way his throat tightens when Jack smiles at anyone who isn't him, of course it tightens more when it is directed at him but that's for a different reason. He can't help but notice how Jack doesn't flinch whenever Mickey puts his hand on Jack's shoulder yet he won't even let the Doctor touch him. He can't help the way he feels about Jack.

Jack has been rambling on for a while now and Mickey has actually been listening, most of it going straight over his head but he is so eager to learn from Jack and even more so, (as cheesy as this sounds) reinforce the fact he's willing to listen to Jack and that Jack doesn't have to feel guilty or self-conscious about it.

The Doctor has taken a different tack to Jack's rambling and is watching him with love-tinted eyes and allowing the words with Jack's stimulating brogue wash over him. It isn't until the players enter the pitch and Mickey interrupts that the Doctor is brought back to reality.

"All the players are women!" Mickey shouts before adding, "Well, at least from our team." He has no idea what gender the other team is. He has no idea WHAT the other team is. Grey skin, 3 and a half legs and two heads. "All our players are women!"

"Aye. Of course. Ah told you they're the best." Jack grins. "The UK colony point three had a all male team an they were obliterated in the first match. An ma home world had a mixed-gender team an they got about half way."

"Yeah, but girls aren't built for football!" Mickey bursts but is soon quiet as Jack and the Doctor stare at him.

"I would let Maria hear you say that. I'd bet she'd beat you at 'football' easy. I bet Rose would just beat you." Jack scolds him, his American accent this time, but there is a warmth to his tone that makes him serious but not too severe. "She beat me last time I saw her. She's a speedy thing, wily, runs rings about you. It's all about knowing your opponent she told me. Tactics too. She spouted them at me so quickly she made my head spin. You'd like her Mickey. You could talk 'football' forever and she'd listen gladly and have stuff to say. And soccer isn't even her main sport, it's baseball. And sport isn't even her main interest it's … a variety of things."

"The game is about to start!" the Doctor points out sulkily and Jack shuts up straight away. The klaxon sounds and Jack is SO excited and Mickey has never been so animated. Within seconds they're both on the edge of their seats and Jack looks so happy, so young and so beautiful. The Doctor knows he should be watching the game, it is a legendary game, but he just can't tear his eyes away from Jack. He's got no desire to.

The Time Lord finds it fascinating how his perception of time alters so dramatically all depending on Jack. Time passes so slowly whenever he's not with him, he understands Rose' frustration because he feels frustrated without Jack just as Rose is frustrated by… whatever Rose is frustrated by, whatever Rose is rebelling against.

Yet when the Doctor is with Jack… it's like he's trapped in a cocoon. He feels safe and happy and… content. Unfortunately, the down side to the cocoon is that everything else is distorted: time, sound, reality and that should really worry the Doctor but he's had enough of carrying the weight of the Universe on his shoulders. He knows he's got a good team: Sarah-Jane, the Captain and even Mickey have always got his back if he does screw up. It isn't as if the Doctor doesn't care about humanity any less. It just means he cares about Jack more.

An example of the Doctor's altered perception of time has just occurred because the half-time klaxon has just blared and the Doctor realises he hasn't so much as glanced at the game. He's been too lost in his own thoughts. He's been too lost in Jack.

"Jack, you have GOT to tell me whether we win or not!" Mickey pleads, the desperation evident on his face and in his voice. Jack just chuckles and shakes his head.

"I think you'll find I dunnae HAVE ta." He smirks before getting up out of his seat. "I'm just gonna stretch ma legs and get us some wee souvenirs."

"You are going to pay for them, aren't you?" Mickey asks but Jack is feeling in a cheeky mood so he just smirks, winks and leaves. The Doctor watching him for as far as he can and then some. When he does turn back it is to find Mickey sneering at him.

"You're hopeless!" Mickey smirks and the Doctor wants to argue but as soon as he opens his mouth he realises that Mickey is right. "Do you even like football?" and the Doctor tries to answer but all he can do is stutter and splutter and Mickey is finding this hilarious. "I thought you didn't do domestic."

"Now that is true!" The Doctor insists. "I still don't do domestic. I don't care what you think but I have not been domesticized. Urgh, 'domesticized'. It sounds like a disease. Some sort of pathology. There is nothing domestic about me and Jack!"

"Only because Jack won't let it." Mickey's face is serious as he speaks, a touch of sympathy in his voice. The Doctor crumbles. He lets out a shaky sigh when what he really wants to do is cry or scream or something! But he can't. So he has to bury all the lust, tenderness, yearning, desire and love he feels and force a smile onto his face instead.

"I can't see Jack as a husband." The Doctor chokes on a half-laugh, half-sob.

"He was one, once." Mickey shares with the Doctor what Jack has confided in him. "Well, something similar. He loved her a lot. They had a kid together. A daughter." And Mickey can't say anymore because his throat is constricted with emotion he refuses to show. Jack wouldn't tell Mickey what happened, just talked about them in the past tense with such a look of raw pain and anguish in his eyes that Mickey couldn't ask him any more. It's a look that still haunts Mickey every now and again and it serves to make him even more determined to be Jack's friend. Jack shouldn't have to be alone and contrary to Jack's belief, he doesn't deserve to be. Mickey will always be there for Jack, whether Jack wants him to be or not. It's a shame but Jack won't ever give the Doctor that opportunity.

The booth is filled with heavy silence and weighty emotions. They both love Jack, in different ways but they both care about him, want to make him happy, they want to protect him because he's gone through so much already. They both want him to stay. At the moment Jack wants to stay but is willing to leave, he's planning to leave and it's a painful thought for the both of them.

Yet Jack enters and within seconds the melancholy mood is gone because it is hard to be upset when Jack looks so happy, excited and enthusiastic. It's impossible to imagine life without Jack when Jack is right where he belongs, with them, making everything seem right with the universe.

"I got beer for you Mickey, Andorian Ale for the Doctor and… water for me because I'm boring." Jack hands the guys their drinks but their replies are muted, they're just kind of looking at him fondly which Jack finds unnerving so he continues talking. "And I've also got a poster of Lily Taylor, my favourite striker. She is SO talented!" Jack enthuses before adding with a twinkle in his eye." And she makes soccer look sexy."

"Wait!" Mickey shouts out. "Taylor? The striker? With blond hair? Golden Skin?" Jack is nodding. "Bears a striking resemblance to Rose?"

"Erm…" Jack squirms.

"Lily Taylor and Rose Tyler look exactly the same! If you fancy Taylor you must fancy Tyler!" Mickey accuses whilst the Doctor says nothing because he's too busy keeping his jealousy in check.

"Yeah, but you're going out with Rose." Jack reassures Mickey, even though Mickey's not so sure. "Lily Taylor is single." Jack grins and Mickey laughs. The Doctor grinds his teeth.

Thankfully, the Doctor is spared from any more talk on the subject as the klaxon sounds for the second half of the match, Mickey and Jack already on the edge of their seat. They leap out of them fairly quickly as Lily Taylor scores the equaliser. The Doctor notices a vein throbbing on Jack's neck, proving his excitement. Mickey's dubbed it 'the Frankenstein vein', whilst the Doctor finds it strangely erotic and tries to block out the idea of what it would feel like under his tongue. He shakes his head and tries to concentrate on the game.

It is two-two now and the game could go either way. The fact that Jack already knows the outcome, has already seen it, doesn't seem to have effected him at all because he is as excited, tense, anxious, enthralled and captivated as all the other millions of spectator. Even more so. But the Doctor isn't captivated by the game, he is captivated by Jack.

It is exciting to see Jack so uninhibited. Screaming and shouting and chanting with all the other spectators. The atmosphere is electric. The Doctor can feel the tension, the chaos, the excitement all around but it doesn't effect him, he's safe in his cocoon. The noise, the palpable atmosphere doesn't reach him yet every movement Jack makes seems to the Doctor to be in slow motion. He snorts, realising he's become a walking living breathing cliché, yet he still can't bring himself to care.

The game is interesting; Fierce tackles and neat defending; Superb shots leading to spectacular saves, but it is Jack's reactions that the Doctor finds interesting. He's fascinated to discover that Jack's interest in the game is equalled by his interest in people. Even amidst this highly entertaining game Jack still manages to tear his eyes away from the action on pitch to study the spectators. He still glances Mickey's way to reassure himself Mickey is enjoying himself. Focuses his isolinearoptimagnificum controls on the spectators, studying the ways various species display their emotions. Studying individuals to find their particular foibles. The Doctor finds Jack's interest in people fascinating, and finds himself falling even deeper in love.

There's only ten minutes to go and the United Kingdom Colony point 4 is lagging by a goal. The score is 2:3 to the Hexalugarcinia and Mickey looks worried but there is a slight smile on Jack's lips and sure enough Murphy scores the equaliser just a few minutes before full-time. The crowd's reaction is so powerful but it's nothing compared to their reaction when Taylor scores again in injury time, in the last kick of the match. The crowd goes wild. Mickey goes into a state of disbelief. Jack grins madly, enjoying the moment, enjoying Mickey's reaction.

"We won?" Mickey questions.

"Aye, we did." Jack beams. "We have." And he laughs as Mickey still can't believe it, looking at Jack; then the Doctor; then the pitch; then back at Jack for reassurance. Jack's grin grows wider. It grows even more wide as Mickey pulls him into a bear hug. Mickey's so ecstatic, he even makes as if to hug the Doctor but the look in the Doctor's eyes stops him in his tracks.

"And it doesn't stop here gentleman. Ah've got us tickets to the celebration party. In the girls' changing room." The Doctor's glare intensifies and Mickey's suddenly not sure this is such a good idea. But Jack looks so happy!

And that is how Jack is able to drag a reluctant Doctor and a wary Mickey, just by asking. He yammers on about how talented the players are, all of them but it doesn't escape the Doctor's attention that Jack focuses on one young woman a lot more than the rest. Damn that Lily Taylor!

It's clear he's still got a crush on her by how he admires her, how he praises her. What's worse is that it isn't just a crush because Jack has made it perfectly clear that although he finds her extremely attractive, a 'Human Venus' to use his words, he finds her even more attractive for her characteristics, her achievements, her personality. Curse that kind, talented Rose Tyler look-a-like! Double Damn!

It doesn't help that when they do reach the party all the girls are slightly tipsy, the alcohol flowing freely, in various states of dress most just covering up their dignity, and they are all over Jack. A couple of the girls are even all over Mickey but nobody is coming near the Doctor. It's like he's giving off some kind of bad-move vibes, which nobody can penetrate.

Only Jack doesn't even notice. He strolls right up to the Doctor, even places a hand on the Doctor's shoulder and introduces him to each of the players individually. Only their star player is missing. It feels so good, Jack's hand on his shoulder, that the Doctor begins to feel that this may not be so bad after all. He even manages to smile and be amicable to a few of the uglier players. But Jack's hand upon his shoulder soon disappears, along with the Doctor's newfound good mood.

He sits and watches the party with cynical and bitter eyes. He starts off observing Jack but to see him having such a good time, to see him laugh and joke and flirt… it creates emotions, powerful emotions the Doctor doesn't want to acknowledges. So he watches Mickey instead.

Mickey seems to be enjoying himself, revelling in the attention of the girls but also explaining that he's got a girlfriend whom he's faithful to. The Doctor can't help but feel a twinge of sorrow for Mickey because he knows Rose hasn't been faithful to Mickey and perhaps the Doctor is partly to blame. Yet Mickey has a huge smile on his face now, chatting with the girls, listening to them, gently flirting with them but never letting it get too far.

No, the Doctor will just have to grit his teeth and bear it. He doesn't want to be a part pooper, a spoilsport, a dullard. It's a good thing Mickey and Jack are having fun, the Doctor doesn't want to get in the way of that. He willingly concedes to patiently waiting until the party is over and then probably dragging an intoxicated Mickey and drunken Jack back to TARDIS. He's fine with that decision, he really is.

Until SHE shows up! Her long blond hair styled and worn down; her make-up so well applied she looks more like a movie star than a footballer; that tight, small, short black dress showing off her perfect body and her long legs. That damned Lily Taylor!

It's torment but the Doctor can't help but watch as Lily heads straight for Jack, both of them acting as if they're the only two people in the room, flirting outrageously with each other, so close their bodies are touching, their mouths so close their breaths must be embracing and it is breaking the Doctor's hearts.

Mickey can see this. He sees that the Doctor isn't just bitter or jealous, he's afraid and in pain. The Doctor is hurting, not saying anything because he wants Jack to have a good time but it is cutting him to the soul that Jack doesn't trust the him to let him get that close. He's afraid of losing Jack to this woman but the Doctor is still keeping his mouth shut, afraid that if he does open his mouth he'll tell Jack how he really feels and then lose Jack for good.

"Er, Jack I think we should go." Mickey eventually gathers the nerve to suggest. Jack looks hurt but after glancing at the Doctor Mickey finds the strength to continue. "We should check on Rose and Sarah-Jay, bring them back home to the TARDIS before we start to do any real damage to the timeline." Mickey wisely suggests, silently accepting the Doctor's grateful look whilst Jack just nods.

"I can do that. You two just enjoy the rest of the party." Jack offers selflessly, eager to help before rushing off to do so. The Doctor slides down the wall he's resting on and sinks to the floor.

"Rose won't like being dragged away from the party." Mickey acknowledges guiltily. "But if anybody can drag her away, the Captain can."

"Yeah." The Doctor agrees before adding offhandedly "Thank you, for doing that by the way." He sighs. "I do feel guilty though. He does really like her. He was having a good time."

"You didn't do anything, remember? It was me." Mickey reassures him, sitting on the floor next to him.

"Thanks anyway." The Doctor repeats and Mickey just smiles weakly and nods. There's a comfortable silence but the Doctor doesn't know how to be silent for long. "How did you enjoy the game Mickey? Was it all Jack built it up to be?"

"It was great! Really good." But Mickey is back to being English, his tone flat and not being very animated. "But out of all the games in the Universe, he wanted to take me to this one and that makes me want to ask: when's the next time Earth, or even an Earth colony win the Cup?"

The Doctor doesn't answer.

**END of Chapter 5**


	7. Chapter 6

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 06. Easing the Tension part two

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: A massage is supposed to ease the tension, isn't it?

Rating: PG. It's a lot more mild than the summary suggests.

Word Count: justabout 4, 500

Warning: over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them. There may be the odd spoiler for Doctor Who episodes as well but as I litter my work with so many obscure references it's hard to keep track of them all. Also, this chapter is very déjà vu so please let me know if you find it too boring.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction. Maria is all my own imagination though:-)

**Easing the Tension part two**

"Sarah-Jay, I don't suppose you know how to sew, do you?" Jack asks hesitantly.

"What, dear?" she responds, lost in a daydream.

"Nothing." He replies. There are a few seconds of silence before he has to talk again. "It's just that I've been trying to sew and apart from stabbing holes in my fingers I haven't really succeeded." He laughs nervously.

"What do you want doing?" the Doctor asks lightly. Jack, Mickey, Sarah-Jane and Rose look at him with various looks ranging from confused, scoffing, questioning and mocking. "Sonic screwdriver." The Doctor explains, flippantly. "Give it to me, whatever it is and I'll fix it." Jack pauses. He'd much rather do it himself but the Doctor has made an offer and he can't decline it. Jack disappears into his room.

"You could have just given him the sonic screwdriver." Sarah-Jane tells the Doctor.

"He should have just asked for it." Rose huffs. "Are we going someplace soon? Someplace we can have fun. Someplace you won't drag me away from."

"Where do you want to go?" the Doctor asks distractedly.

"I dunno. Anywhere! It just feels like I've been stuck in this blue box forever and I need…"

"It is a pretty big box though." Mickey interrupts.

"Yeah, but it gets SO boring after a while! I just… I need to get out. I want some fresh air. Doctor? Doctor!" she screams but Jack has just entered the room and Rose realises the Doctor hasn't heard a word she's said. She storms off to her room and Mickey half-heartedly tries to get her to stay but he knows better than to get in her way when she's in this mood so in the end he eventually lets her leave.

"There you go." Jack shyly hands the Doctor a decapitated teddy bear and the head to go along with it. The Doctor breaks out into a grin at Jack's adorableness.

"What happened to Mr. Snuggles?" Sarah-Jane can't help but ask.

"Mr. Snuggles?" Mickey can't help but scoff.

"I didn't name him!" Jack defends but then his voice turns softer, fonder. "he was given to me. By a little girl: Maria." The Doctor's ears prick up at that name, the jealousy flaring up inside him. "She hid me, kept me safe. I was 16 and new to the 21st Century. She was only 5 years old and could quote Shakespeare. She's amazing. She's like a little sister me. We were family, all each other had for two years until…" Jack falters. The Doctor doesn't push him "…until I had to leave. She gave me Mr. Snuggles as a goodbye gift. Told me to hug him whenever I felt sad, said it always worked for her but I needed him more than she did. The truth was she'd put a long-range communicator in there. Every time I hugged the bear it sent a signal to her. And she was seven when she gave me that teddy."

"Smart girl." The Doctor says almost bitterly. "This the same girl who supports The UK Colony point four even though that's over 6 millennia in her future?"

"She's adapted her radio so she gets the commentary from their games. She's a genius, works wonders with time. Understands it better than me and I used to be a Time Agent! She even gets take-out from the future and from other parts of the Galaxy. In the two years we were together she learned so much about the future and the galaxy just from watching me, and she taught me more than anybody else, Until I had to go. Leaving her. All alone and only seven years old. That was about ten and a half years ago." TARDIS is filled with an emotional silence. The Doctor clears his voice before speaking.

"He's all fixed now." The Doctor hands the fixed teddy back to a very grateful Jack, no longer feeling jealous of Maria.

"Thank you." Jack replies with such sincerity and so much warmth that the Doctor finds he can't make a sound, so he just smiles and nods. "Actually, I was thinking about letting Rose borrow him for a while, she's been looking kind of depressed lately." Jack frowns. "Where is she?"

"She's sulking in her room. It's more 'interesting' in there." Mickey moans.

"is she alright?" Jack's concern makes him question.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll be okay once you've given her another massage. That seemed to calm her down before." Is Mickey's half-serious, half-snarky retort.

"Massage!" The Doctor can't resist asking, any attempt to appear uninterested failing miserably. He sounds VERY intrigued.

"Oh yeah." Sarah-Jane smiles. "Jack is quite the masseuse. Isn't he, Mickey?"

"I… I wouldn't know, would I Sarah-Jay!" Mickey says through gritted teeth.

"Mickey's too butch for a massage." Jack sarcastically explains. "Because even if I did kind of cripple his shoulder when we were playing soccer…"

"Football." Mickey interjects.

"Penalty shoot-outs, whatever you call it. He was goal-keeping and I must have hit the ball at an awkward angle for him, drove his shoulder right back and…" Jack winces. "I'm still eternally sorry for that by the way."

"So you told me at the time. Repeated it so much you almost drove me mad. An' you're still doing it!"

"Sorry." Is Jack's instinctive response and when Mickey shoots him an angry glance Jack almost apologises again but manages to bite his tongue in time. "But even in all that agony Mickey was still a 'man'. He didn't need painkillers because 'men' can take pain. Refusing pleasurable massages and enduring needless pain is what being a 'man' is all about." Jack scoffs.

"And what are you, Jack?" Mickey challenges. "Because me and Rose have been debating it. And because of the films you watch we've decided you're not 18 since the number of 18's you've watched can be counted in single digits, and you've only watched them because they're classics or they've got actors you love in them. We both managed to agree on that but as to your gender the jury's still out on that one."

"I'm beyond such gender-stereotyping. I'm just me!" Jack grins, before curiosity makes him ask, "Did you and Rose reach any kind of conclusion?"

"Only that you're extremely flexible. Rose thought you'd be all red-blooded, like her. She watches 'Evita' for Antonio Banderas, right? She drools over him! You love him for his voice and find him 'sweet' but when he gets injured you go all nursemaid and mothering. Rose finds the whole 'in pain' thing sexy, you've turned so empathic you find the whole 'in pain' thing painful." Mickey realises he could go on for decades about Jack's complexities so he cuts to the chase. "But for the main part we've decided you're usually a 10 year old boy or a 14 year old lesbian." Mickey laughs as Jack's eyes go wide and he splutters, unable to form a coherent response because whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that.

"So Doctor, do you think you're man enough to handle one of Jack's massages?" Sarah-Jane blurts out, trying to change the subject. It works as now everybody is looking at the Doctor, eagerly awaiting his response. His eyes have gone wide; his mouth is open yet no words are coming out of it.

"He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to." Jack insists. "I mean, I'm not very good at it anyway. I just thought… I don't know what I thought. I guess I just thought it gave me a right to be here. I mean, being a masseuse is a lousy way of paying my way but it's about the only positive thing I can do and maybe I can't even do that all that well…"

"Jack!" Mickey tries to correct him, comfort him but Jack is having none of it.

"No. It's okay. It's understandable. It's fine. Massages aren't everyone's cup of tea. Mind you, the Doctor likes tea. I can't make tea. I can make coffee but the Doctor doesn't drink coffee…"

"Yes I do." The Doctor interrupts Jack's rambling without thinking.

"Since when?" Jack asks before feeling guilty for questioning the Doctor.

"Since …" since I left you behind, since I missed you, since it reminded me of you. "Actually, my muscles are a bit sore. I don't suppose you'd give me a massage, would you Jack?" The Doctor requests, as nonchalantly as he can manage. He almost regrets asking but then Jack gives him the most brilliant smile and all the Doctor's regrets are forgotten.

"Are you sure you could survive a massage from Jack?" Mickey questions, not completely in jest.

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Jack asks, insecure and Mickey lets out a sigh. It's a frustrated sigh yet also remarkably tender too.

"What I mean is, when you gave Rose that massage she didn't complain for days. She didn't leave her room for two days you blissed her out that much! And whatever you've been doing to Sarah-Jane you've most definitely put a smile on her face."

"He certainly has very talented hands." She teases.

"I think her smile is a result of Sarah's sunny disposition rather than me." is Jack's self-depreciating response. Mickey rolls his eyes and fights the urge to strangle Jack, so he pats him on the shoulder instead. Then he puts a hand on each of Jack's shoulders, faces him and makes sure that Jack doesn't break eye-contact, just so Jack knows he's telling the truth.

"What I mean is, and I'll say this so you can't misinterpret me, you worked miracles with my shoulder. And if a big, tough, butch guy like me can reluctantly enjoy your massage then the Doctor doesn't have a hope in hell of resisting. He'll melt into the TARDIS floor. He'll be putty in your hands. You'll make him relax." Jack smiles at that. His brilliant, honest, white, beautiful and blinding smile.

"I am going to give him the best massage ever!" Jack vows, coming to life with enthusiasm. "Doctor, I am seriously going to give you the best. The candles, music and oils I'll use will make you think you're in the gardens of Zeusadron. I am gonna make you so relaxed you won't wanna do anything for a week and you won't have to. I will be at your beck and call. But for now… please follow me to the Paradise Pleasure Palace, Rose came up with the name, and I will give you the best massage I have ever given anybody in my life!" Jack beams whilst Mickey, Sarah-Jane and the Doctor are silent. Mickey is the first one to regain his voice and he starts chuckling, Sarah-Jane starts to smile.

"What are you waiting for, Doctor?" Sarah-Jane tries to ask innocently but she can't keep a straight face as Mickey is laughing wildly; the Doctor's eyes are wide open, the pupils largely dilated and his skin is very pale; and in contrast Jack is almost hopping up and down with eagerness.

"Well, if I'm not back in a couple of days I've probably died and gone to heaven." The Doctor sighs, tugging at his hair. "Probable cause of death: spontaneous combustion."

"Nah…" Mickey wipes away his tears from laughing. "You'll be too relaxed to spontaneously combust."

"Trust us!" Mickey and Sarah-Jane add simultaneously and the Doctor isn't so sure he does. Jack's making his way to the Paradise Pleasure Palace but he glances back and looks at the Doctor, his eyes so bright and hopeful and full of life. The Doctor follows him.

* * *

And that's how he's here: lying flat on his stomach; no long brown coat; no pinstripe suit jacket; no shirt. He flat out refuses to take off his trousers and no matter how much Jack protests he will only be giving the Doctor a back and shoulder massage, not that Jack protests too much because the Doctor's word is final.

"You do seem rather tense." Jack tells him. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"Well if I'm tense, don't you think I could do with a massage?" the Doctor laughs nervously. Jack waits until the Doctor appears relaxed before putting his hands on the Doctor's back. The Doctor tenses right back up again.

"Look, I'm not going to be able to do this if you don't RELAX!" Jack stresses before sighing. He grabs a chair and sits down, just looking at him, making it clear he isn't moving until the Doctor is completely at ease. They both have a feeling it is going to be a while. Then Jack starts singing.

His voice is soft and absent-minded. The Doctor's not even sure Jack realises he's singing. He can't make out the song. Jack is barely humming the tune, only singing the occasional word or two. The Doctor is mesmerised.

He watches, as Jack seems to get lost in the sensation of singing. His eyes are closed and as he sings/hums a smile develops on his face. He grows in confidence and the melody becomes stronger, the words become clearer. He sings a whole range of songs, mainly from 1950's musicals oddly enough, all upbeat and entertaining. The Doctor sits up, listens and watches in awe until Jack finishes his set and opens his eyes. Jack's eyes narrow in realisation.

"I'm sorry. I was singing, wasn't I?" He apologises before shuffling his feet and gazing at the floor.

"No." the Doctor is still reeling from what he's just seen and heard and it is quite possible that he's fallen even MORE in love! "I mean yeah, but no." okay, he needs to start making sense. "Don't be sorry. That was… amazing! You've got a really good voice. Really, really good."

"Thank you." Jack accepts the compliment without believing it. "Sarah-Jane seems to enjoy it. I sometimes sing for her. Rose sometimes makes me sing the odd punk song. Mickey's actually got good taste for a kid. Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and the like. But it was really Maria who got me into." That name again.

"Maria?" the Doctor asks before lying back down on his stomach, willing himself to relax so Jack can do the massage.

"Yeah. My pseudo-sister." Jack replies, liberally applying the sweet-smelling oil to the Doctor's back.

"The five year old who saved your life?"

"And gave me Mr. Snuggles, yeah that's her. It's the early 1990's and she's watching 'The Wizard of Oz' on a loop. She's fascinated by it! Loves the transition from black-and-white to colour. Loves a lot of black and white movies. Loves a lot of musicals. Enraptured by 'The Wizard of Oz.' A little scared of the Munchkins perhaps but absolutely in love with Judy Garland."

"Judy Garland!" The Doctor snickers.

"She's the one in love with her, not me!" Jack insists. "Okay, I know she was five when we first met but she was VERY advanced for her age.

"I was lying half-dead in the street after my ship had crashed and I'd managed to climb out and look for help. She was the only one who stopped to help me. She was all by herself too, on the way to the library. She fixed me up, and told me where to hide my space ship. Then she hid me in her dad's house, though her dad was never there, and looked after me.

"She was so smart, so young. Used to read me her books. Reading proper stuff. Enid Blyton adventures. And her imagination! She used to make up these adventures. She loved my ship, we used to play in there all the time but by the time she was six and a half she'd figured out how to fly it so I couldn't let her in there anymore. She made do with pretend instead. I was always the Captain: she was the pilot; the engineer; the communications officer, like Uhura. She loves it whenever I use technical terms but no matter how hard I try I can never find one she can't say." He laughs fondly.

"I was 16 hanging around with a 5 year old but it was probably, definitely the best time of my life. She introduced me to musicals, Television and film. To her, everything was fantastical. She introduced me to Cole Porter's music, to Irvin Berlin. She was in love with Bing Crosby's voice and I used to tease her mercilessly about it. She always used to get me back though, she wouldn't talk to me until I begged for forgiveness. I usually caved after an hour, half an hour. 10 minutes." He laughs once more before cutting himself short. "I'm sorry. You probably don't want me to hear me rattle on. I have a tendency to talk too much, you can tell me to shut up…"

"I don't want you to stop." Is the Doctor's honest, rapid and heartfelt reply, said with enough power to make Jack pause, his hands still on the Doctor's back. "I… It's relaxing. Comforting."

"Not annoying?" Jack has to ask.

"Not annoying." The Doctor reassures. "Tell me more about her. You sound happy when you talk about her."

"She's the only good thing that's been constant in my life." Jack sighs, focussing on kneading the Doctor's muscles rather than on his painful past. Then he laughs. "I remember when she used to make me read her Shakespeare as her bedtime story. When she was 5 her reading was advanced but not that advanced, but she's always loved Shakespeare and the way it sounds. But it's hard to perform a play all by yourself so she very wisely suggested that I read her the sonnets instead. She understood them more than I did, she explained them to me most of the time. And she made me blush.

"She became my family. My only family. And I tried looking after her as best I could but she is so independent. She ended up looking after me. I don't know about her parents but for two years it was pretty much just me and her but then… I had to go. But we kept in touch. Or rather she did. Using Mr. Snuggles she knew where I was and when I was, tapped into the frequency and adapted it for two-way communication. Even I couldn't do that until she taught me. She's so smart. She knows everything about me, all that I know. Those missing two years had her worried because I had no contact with her during that time. I contacted her as soon as I could though. It's nice to know somebody missed me." he smiles.

"Have you visited her recently?" the Doctor's voice is soft and gentle

"Yeah." Jack's tone is weighted. "Just before her 18th birthday, a few months ago, just before I met Sarah-Jay. She's doing her A-levels, working so hard and not even using the money she earns to eat. She travels a lot, saves the universe, protects the timeline and rescues the planet from malicious aliens and devices the world doesn't even know exists. But she does and she can't ignore it. Yet she does it all and doesn't even complain, she's amazing but she shouldn't have to do it all on her own. She's grown up, all by herself no body there for her. No longer a child and busy saving the Earth. So serious. It's such a shame." Jack complains and the irony of Jack's words isn't lost on the Doctor.

"I think she's definitely earned the right to be called your sister." The Doctor mutters under his breath.

"She's the first person I visited after I got off of Satellite 5. Whoa! Wait! Relax! Relax. There's no reason to get so tense so just relax." The Doctor forces himself to do so. "Mickey's right, you really do need this. I'm just not sure I'm doing a very good job." Jack gives a meek smile and even though the Doctor can't see it, he can certainly sense it.

"No. You're doing a very good job." The Doctor reassures him. "It's just … you shouldn't have to do this, you know?"

"I want to. I want to feel useful. I want to earn my keep." He adds the last part under his breath. "Even if I don't intend on being here for that long." The Doctor sits upright at hearing that, fear gripping his hearts.

"You don't have to. I want you to be here. That should be enough! You don't have to try so hard to be everybody's best friend. You just have to be yourself." The Doctor insists.

"I don't know who that is!" Jack screams before a wave of guilt engulfs him. "I just want everybody to be happy." He adds quietly.

"And what about you?"

"I don't matter."

"Yes you do! You deserve to relax too."

"No I don't. There's still work to be done."

"Take a break, Jack." The Doctor jumps off the table and gathers his clothes. "That's an order. You've helped TARDIS, so let her pay you back. Take a relaxing shower or something. A long one." The Doctor hangs in the doorway, glancing back at Jack. "That's an order."

"Yes sir." He can't refuse a direct order.

"And get some sleep!" the Doctor barks before leaving.

* * *

"I just ordered Jack to relax." He tells Sarah-Jane as soon as she opens the door, then he pushes past her and enters her room to collapse on her bed.

"How is that supposed to work exactly?" She sighs before closing the door.

"He tries too hard." The Doctor whines.

"That's just who he is." she tells him.

"He doesn't know who he is!" The Doctor lets out a frustrated scream. "And I was hoping if I could get him to relax, I could get him to stay."

"Oh Doctor," She sits on the bed, next to him. He puts his head on her lap and she strokes his hair, trying to soothe him. "We all want him to stay."

"I don't want him to, I NEED him to." The Doctor fights the urge to cry because the thought of life without Jack is terrifying and every second he spends with that man makes it even more so.

"We'll make him stay." Sarah-Jane tries to reassure him but it only serves to make the Doctor feel guilty.

"He's only here for you." The Doctor confides in her. "Right at the start I told him I'd kick you out if he didn't stay too." Sarah-Jane's eyes widen at the revelation and her hands stop stroking the Doctor's hair. But she can see the Doctor feels lousy about it so she easily forgives him. Besides, Jack DOES belong in TARDIS and he's not going to realise it unless he's in TARDIS with all his friends continuingly telling him so.

"I think you made the right decision." She states and continues playing with the Doctor's hair. He smiles with relief.

"I have a habit of ordering him about." The Doctor sighs. "I shouldn't have ordered him to relax just now, I just sort of snapped."

"That's understandable." Accepts a very understanding Sarah-Jane. "He DOES work too hard. But there is a way of getting him to do what you want."

"Asking him?" the Doctor jokes. Except, it's the truth.

"I meant making him do what's good for him." Sarah-Jane grins. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out. Mickey's figured it out. The trick is…"

"Sarah-Jay, are you awake?" Jack interrupts, whispering. He opens the door slightly, just enough so the Doctor can get a glimpse of him. He's wearing powder blue silk pyjamas, his hair is still wet from the shower. The Doctor sits up. "Oh, I'm sorry. You're busy. I'll come back later."

"No, come in." the Doctor rapidly tells him. "There's plenty of room on the bed. Hop on."

"I don't want to intrude."

"That's an order." The Doctor says without thinking. After a sharp elbow in his ribs, courtesy of Sarah-Jane, the Doctor adds. "It's not an order, it's a request. Sit, stay, talk." The Doctor asks of him, moving down the bed so there's room. Jack tentatively sits down and puts his head on Sarah-Jane's lap and she immediately starts smoothing down his damp hair with her hands.

"I really shouldn't be here, I should make some more coffee or something…"

"You need to sleep, Jack." She tells him softly as his eyes start fluttering closed. He still fights it.

"No, I can't. I don't want to sleep. There's so much I could be doing. I could be reading, I could be working…"

"Jack, I know you're scared." The Doctor tells him, moving closer to Sarah-Jane so he can run his hands through Jack's hair. "And I know we can't protect you from your dreams, I wish we could." The Doctor caresses Jack's cheek with his hand and Jack is really tired because he's nuzzling into that caress. "You've got to sleep, Jack. Your body needs it. Your brain needs it."

"I can't. I can't close my eyes because I'm too afraid." Jack admits, even as exhaustion is attacking his mind and body.

"Just think of happy things." Sarah-Jane tells him, reaching into her bedside cupboard. She pulls out Mr. Snuggles and gives it to him. Jack hold the teddy bear very close. "Think of us. Think of Maria."

"No, because then I'll lose you too! I can't go to sleep!"

"Jack, I know you don't want to but you NEED to." The Doctor tells him, trying to keep his voice steady and smooth and comforting even as unshed tears are prickling his eyes. His hand is still on Jack's cheek. "Please, don't fight it. Just relax. Relax." And Jack does relax. The Doctor and Sarah-Jane move him so he's lying in the centre of the bed, Mr. Snuggles still tightly in his grip, Sarah-Jane and the Doctor either side of him.

"Is he asleep yet?" Sarah-Jane dares to whisper.

"No, I'm not." Jack replies, not opening his eyes though because he doesn't have THAT much energy.

"Why not!" The Doctor screams in a way which makes him and Sarah-Jane laugh. Jack giggles. "Dammit Jack, you're giggling! That's how tired you are!" And Jack giggles even harder at that.

"I am so tired." He eventually concedes. "But if I sleep, I'll dream."

"If you don't sleep, you'll collapse." The Doctor counters.

"I'm scared."

"I know." And the Doctor DOES know, he understands. So does Sarah-Jane, who snuggles up to him and falls asleep. The Doctor puts a hand on Jack's stomach, underneath the pyjama silk top and on his skin. Jack's so tired he doesn't even flinch. He falls asleep moments after. The Doctor doesn't.

3 hours later Jack wakes up screaming in terror. The Doctor is still there beside him.

END of Chapter


	8. Chapter 7

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 07. Dinner and Dancing

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: I think the title says it all. There's a banquet and line dancing.

Rating: PG-13 for some mild sexual references

Word Count: Around 5,650.

Warning: over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them. There may be the odd spoiler for Doctor Who episodes as well but I think I'm being rather cryptic.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

A/N: I know some off you are getting bored with the angst. I'm sorry; I can't seem to write any humour for this series. I have written angstier fics for Doctor Who about Jack. I prefer to think of this as bittersweet

Feedback: Always appreciated

**07. Dinner and Dancing**

"Jack isn't eating." The Doctor announces to the others.

"You summoned us here for that?" Rose screams. "You made it sound like some big emergency. You made it sound urgent! You made it sound exciting!"

"He hasn't eaten for weeks!" the Doctor counters.

"He's a big boy Doctor!" Rose argues. "He'll eat when he's hungry. He doesn't need you mothering him!"

"I'm not!" The Doctor defends, his voice ridiculously high.

"You used to be interesting." Rose mutters under her breath before storming off to her room, leaving the Doctor rather confused and upset by her behaviour. He really doesn't know what has gotten into her but whatever it is he's sure Jack can cheer her up. He's probably already doing so, Jack's got this sixth sense, he knows what mood people are in and what they need. But he still doesn't realise how much he's needed.

"How are we supposed to get him to eat?" Mickey asks, partly out of his own concern and partly out of him wanting to rouse the depressed Doctor. "Whenever we offer him food he tells us he's not hungry. He tells us to eat it instead!"

"He cooks for us all the time." Sarah-Jane recalls fondly. Jack is an excellent cook. "But he's always too busy to eat."

"We need to do something! TARDIS is really concerned about him!" The Doctor's features are contorted with worry and his voice is almost frantic.

"TARDIS?" Mickey can't refrain from questioning, a smirk on his lips which soon disappears as he sees the unshed tears shimmering in the Doctor's eyes.

"He was inside the deltratoxiradiathum bay the other day, replacing some deltra crystals which had burned out. The crystals are really heavy and once you've taken them out you've got to put new ones in really quickly otherwise it releases a toxic radiation. Jack had really been pushing himself, like always. Pushing past the headaches, working through the hunger, ignoring his exhaustion. He overexerted himself removing the crystals; his body had no more to give so it just collapsed.

"Five minutes he was in that radiation, five minutes before I pulled him out. He should have rested for days, gotten some sleep, eaten some food. I should have made him rest but within an hour he was by Rose's side at that stupid holographic club. TARDIS couldn't stop him but he's going to… he needs to stop running himself into the ground. He needs to start taking better care of himself!"

"He's always been bad at that." Sarah-Jane recalls, smiling slightly as she remembers a simpler time when it was just her and the Captain. "He's been worse since he got here. More people to please I guess. Not to mention TARDIS herself."

"He's been even worse since I pulled him out of the radiation." The Doctor says, shaking his head disapprovingly. "I don't see how he thinks he owes us anything. He tries so hard. He doesn't need to try so hard. I wish he could just see what we all see. I don't get why his self-perception is so different! But he never stops to take a look at himself. He's always on the move, always busy, always."

"I asked him about that once." Mickey remembers. "He told me he's like a Sharkuna, has to keep swimming or he'll die."

"And I've trapped him here." The Doctor realises, his tone flat and his expression sombre. "But at least he's safe here. We can look out for him. We can protect him!"

"Yeah but can we protect him from himself?" Mickey asks, harshly.

"You've always said you want what's best for him." Sarah-Jane softly tells the Doctor but her words are heavy. "It's obvious he's uncomfortable being here…"

"He belongs here!" The Doctor screams, silence ensues. "Do you both feel like this?" The Doctor asks, feeling as though he's being betrayed, feeling like he's got a mutiny on his hands. Both Sarah-Jane and Mickey nod hesitantly and wordlessly. The Doctor is in a daze: he feels sick, he feels dizzy, his hearts are racing, his skin is sweating, his thoughts are swimming. He can feel his legs give way, he can feel himself falling, he can feel a strong pair of arms catching him and place him down carefully down.

"Are you alright, Doc?" Jack asks, his beautiful blue eyes brimming with concern.

"Jack?" Is the Doctor's dreamy response, a goofy grin plastered on his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Rose is upset. She thinks you've forgotten her birthday." Sarah-Jane shakes her head in disapproval. At least she's got an excuse: she never knew Rose's birthday but the boys should be ashamed of themselves. Instead, they're just staring blankly at Jack. "Today."

"Is that today?" The Doctor has the look of a deer caught in the headlights. "Boy, it is hard to keep track of time when you're in a time machine!" The Doctor tries to joke.

"The phone you modified for her," Jack continues, trying to keep the heat out of his voice whilst also explaining Rose's reasonable anger. "That's the only thing which has wished her happy birthday. I was coming to give her a birthday treat at Paradise Pleasure Palace to find her in tears! She really thinks you've forgotten her birthday! Whatever surprise you guys are planning, it better be good."

"Planning. Yes. Right. Surprise. Of course." The Doctor grins madly, happy because it's clear Jack never doubted him for a second and that makes him feel great! Jack's faith in them is constant, not deserved but it is unwavering. It's such a shame that Jack's faith in himself is non-existent.

"Actually, we were planning a banquet." Mickey says, thinking fast. "The best food from all the Universe. With Rose at the head of the table. You know what they say: the stomach is the best way to a human's heart."

"That must be very confusing for aliens." Sarah-Jane acknowledges, making the others laugh.

"Is there anything you suggest, Jack?" Mickey asks subtly. "We need a human guinea-pig to test the food, my tastes are a bit too bland. Too bland for Rose." He grudgingly admits.

"I'm sure Sarah-Jane will be happy to oblige." Jack replies, "I was hoping to take Rose down to TARDIS' wardrobe room, let her try on a few hundred outfits. A bit of retail therapy… of sorts. If that's okay with you, Doctor." He adds, feeling as though he's overstepped his mark.

"No, that's a good, good idea." The Doctor admires. "I wonder why I didn't think of it. But take her to Paris for a day, go shopping for real. Or Italy. Oh, the planet of Xashoné, it's the best for clothes shopping and TARDIS can supply you with all the money you need. Give Rose some fresh air. Let her meet some new people." He subtly includes, "And let her pick out some new outfits for you, she'll like that. " the Doctor is whizzing around the control panel before Jack can protest. "The course is set already. Grab Rose. Here's some money," He pulls a lot of money from his pockets and gives it to a stunned Jack. The Doctor's pockets are as endless as Mary Poppins' bag. "Go enjoy yourself. Step outside to find the biggest and best shopping mall of the Universe."

"What are we waiting for then?" Rose asks. She's obviously been there for a while, listening and watching. As quiet as a mouse. Jack shrugs his shoulders before linking arms with Rose and striding off. Rose pauses in the doorway. "You'll come to my party, won't you Jack?" She puts on her best pleading face and voice. "You'll eat with us, sit with us at the feast, have dinner with us?" She asks for the Doctor's benefit.

"I wouldn't miss it for the Universe." Is Jack's honest reply, followed by a dazzling smile. It even makes Rose giggle so it's no surprise the Doctor's spine melts. Metaphorically, of course. It isn't until the TARDIS' doors are closed and the Doctor can't see Jack any more that he even begins to focus. He still needs Sarah-Jane and Mickey's help though.

"We need to plan this banquet. I've never planned a banquet before." Mickey sound excited.

"No, me neither." The Doctor realises, a confused look upon his face, which is soon contorted into a goofy grin. "It's gonna be great!" he starts to run off but stops when he realises his companions aren't following him. "Come on then!" he orders before dashing off again. With a roll of their eyes, a shake of their heads and just a slight smile upon their lips, Mickey and Sarah-Jane trudge off after him.

TARDIS is definitely a LOT bigger on the inside than on the out and it's a shame as Mickey realises how unfit he is, even Sarah-Jane is fitter than him and that's just depressing. Sarah-Jane is only beginning to show signs of tiring whilst Mickey is flat out knackered. The Doctor is still going at the happy, hyper pace he started off at.

Eventually, the Doctor arrives at his destination and stops. Sarah-Jane arrives thirty seconds later and Mickey finally arrives five minutes after her. He collapses straight onto the floor; upsetting all the dust and making it fill the air. Mickey chokes whilst Sarah-Jane holds a handkerchief to her mouth to allow her to breathe. The Doctor physiology means he can breathe dust as well as air, so he's not really bothered. Can't really see, though.

"What the hell is this room!" Mickey coughs.

"Banquet room." The Doctor explains simply.

"It looks like it hasn't been used in centuries." Sarah-Jane exclaims, wanting to open her eyes and look around but deciding against it as she subtly tries to remove the mountain of dust, which blew into her mouth when she spoke.

"It hasn't been used for centuries." The Doctor replies. "Wait a second." He adjusts his sonic screwdriver by touch alone until it emits a vacuum-hygenia wave to clean up the place. "It's fine now." He waits a few seconds before leaning towards Sarah-Jane. "You can open your eyes now, Sarah." She slowly does so and is astounded by the sight she before her.

The room stretches out, far into the distance. Now that the dust has gone the golds, purples and reds make it look so royal. The solid dark wood table looks like it could host over 500 people and looks SO grand. The cutlery looks silver and so polished it sparkles. It looks spectacular, fit for a queen, fit for Rose. Now they've just got to plan and provide the food.

"What food does he like?" The Doctor asks eagerly. "Jack. What food does he like?"

"It don't matter 'cos he won't eat it." Mickey sulks and Sarah-Jane kind of agrees with him.

"Well, we need **something** to fill the table. Might as well fill it with everybody's favourite food." The Doctor rationalises slyly. "So what's Jack's favourite food? I know he lives off coffee so I'll have lots of coffee flavoured stuff, ice cream and … stuff. What else does he like?"

"He never talks about his likes and dislikes. Just what he thinks you'll like. He's very objective." Sarah-Jane offers awkwardly, knowing she's not being very helpful.

"Oh, he does have this weird thing about chips!" Mickey explodes.

"Oh yeah." Sarah-Jane remembers. "When he was in his late teens he developed a thing for salty fries and strawberry milkshakes."

"I didn't know about that one!" Mickey shouts. "I was talking about his unhealthy craving, which he's kind of passed onto me, of chips dipped in hot chocolate spread. Only, it's not really chocolate 'cos it's from a different planet, natural and healthier, but it tastes a lot like it. Better even."

"Better than chocolate?" Sarah-Jane exclaims before realising it actually is because Jack's fed it to her too. Oh yeah, that's definitely going on the menu. "Oh, he likes parsnip chips too. That's one of the first things he cooked me after I ended up exploring the Universe with him." She smiles.

"Chips and tomato ketchup!" Mickey announces. "He told me that was one of his odd likes and I remember thinking it weren't all that odd but he was grinning that Hollywood grin of his and I realised he was being all American. What he meant was **crisps** and tomato ketchup!" Mickey cringes but Sarah-Jane just laughs. The Doctor is listening intently, hanging on their every word.

"Peanut butter, raison and grated carrot sandwiches." Sarah-Jane smirks. "That's another Captain Jack Harkness special." The dishes are rolling off their tongues now, TARDIS helpfully supplying every dish mentioned. Sarah-Jane and Mickey have great fun but often have to drag the Doctor out of whatever daydream he's in so he can offer some more exotic and alien meals. Hours pass and the table fills with food. The table is just about full when the birthday girl herself arrives, closely followed by her faithful friend.

"Rose, you look gorgeous!" Mickey's eyes are wide open, the pupils dilated. She really does look beautiful, like a prom queen, the tiara to match. A pale pink dress, magnificent material that clings to her body superbly, a brilliant but simple design. Her make-up has been expertly applied and it's obvious she's been manicured and pampered like a princess today, she looks very happy and beautiful indeed. Mickey laughs to see she's wearing trainers with her dress but that is the girl he loves. She receives whole-hearted compliments and praises from Jack, Sarah-Jane and Mickey but not the man she really wants to notice her. The Doctor is too lost in Jack's appearance to pay too much attention to Rose.

Jack is clothed in the most fantastic dark purple suit, dark blue shirt. The Doctor can't decide on whether the tie is blue or purple but what he can decide on is the fact that it looks so handsome on Jack, it really brings out the blue of his eyes. The cut is immaculate, fits his figure perfectly and the material looks so soft the Doctor has to resist the urge to feel it, and feel the body underneath. The Doctor doesn't realise he's staring until Sarah-Jane has to physically close his mouth and give him a gentle push to bring him back to reality. Jack hasn't even noticed.

"Nice suit, Jack." Mickey admires. "Very sharp."

"I'm glad you think so Michael, because Rose has bought you a suit exactly like this but in your size. It's in your room." Jack tells him. "In fact, you'll find several more outfit in your room and so will you Sarah-Jay. Rose wanted to buy the Doctor some more outfits but she er… she didn't bother because she knew he wouldn't wear them. She got you a tie though!" Jack says so brightly that it makes the Doctor smile. "But Sarah-Jay and Mickey are gonna need bigger closets."

"Enjoy your day out, did you Rose?" Sarah-Jane laughs.

"It was **perfect! **Jack is THE person to take if you wanna go shopping. Mickey always complained and I haven't even been able to GET the Doctor to go shopping with me, ever! But Jack's real fun, supportive like. He really knows how to treat a woman. I didn't have to lift a finger." She sighs, blissfully content.

"I'm perfectly willing to be your butler madam," Jack says in a sharp, clipped, English accent, "however being a bag lady can be awfully difficult on the muscles." He realises how selfish that sounds to his own ears. "But it's okay though, I'm glad to do it." He smiles sheepishly. "And it gave them time to prepare your banquet." For the first time Rose gets a proper look at the spread supposedly laid out for her birthday.

"We're never going to eat all of this!" Rose exclaims, in awe. "What are you trying to do? Are you trying to make me fat?" she laughs.

"Yeah, I'd go change if I were you." Mickey grins, an idea forming in his mind. "Change into some slacks. And feast. You too Jack." Mickey orders.

"But I'm not going to eat…" He begins to protest.

"Yes you are." Rose states firmly. "It's my birthday and I want you to stuff your face. It's your job to make me feel less like a pig." She instructs him before dragging him off so they can both get changed.

They return half an hour later (it's only taken them a few moments to get changed but taken a lot longer to get to their bedrooms and back). They're both dressed in T-shirt and sweat-pants yet actually, they still look hot. Mickey pulls out the chair at the head of the table and Rose sits down. Mickey sits in the chair down right from her. Jack pulls out the seat opposite Mickey and lets Sarah-Jane sit down. Sarah-Jane drags Jack into the seat next to her. The Doctor is the only one left standing so that means he has to be the waiter, filling everybody's plates with their favourite dishes out of their reach. He fills Jack's first.

"You shouldn't have to serve us!" Jack exclaims. "Sit down, I can do it." He tries to stand up but Sarah-Jane is clutching firmly at his arm. The Doctor has placed both his hand on Jack's shoulders so he has no choice but to remain seated. Sarah-Jane forces Jack to eat a spoonful of coffee ice cream. He glares at her, disbelievingly for a moment before politely but swiftly taking the spoon from her and shovelling the ice cream into his mouth. There is a collective sigh of relief as Jack realises how hungry he is and begins to appreciate the food.

* * *

Everybody appreciates the food and Rose thinks this may be the best birthday she's ever had. Shopping and fine food is all a girl could really want. She really owes it all to Jack, in more ways than one, and she can't blame the Doctor for falling in love with him. In fact, she's even beginning to feel almost sorry for him. He's stopped serving everybody over fifteen minutes ago and sat down next to Mickey, opposite Jack. His plate is full but he hasn't eaten a bite because he's too busy staring at Jack like a lovesick puppy. Bless.

"I'm stuffed." Mickey sighs. "Rose, that suit you bought me won't even fit anymore." They all try to laugh but most of them are too full to do anything for the moment. Even Jack is full, feeling slightly guilty for devouring such high quality food but happy because the others enjoyed it. "Gee, what to do with all the leftovers?" Mickey asks, faking coyness and precariously holding his heaped spoon. It eventually spring out of his hands and the contents splatter all over Rose's face. Everyone is aghast for a moment before Rose bursts into a grin.

"Food fight!" Rose declares, not caring how cliché it is because it's her birthday. Mickey suggested it, anyway. The Doctor looks lightly worried at the thought so Sarah-Jane throws him at the deep end by covering the Doctor in a kind of soup. Jack feels a need to protect his Doctor so he instinctively throws a plate of jelly into Sarah-Jane's lap. He immediately regrets it.

"I'm sorry Sarah-jay, I don't know why I did that. I'm so sorry." He apologises profusely. Sarah-Jane just glares at him, an evil playful grin tugging at her lips.

"You will be." She promises but the Doctor beats her to it. Jack is soon covered head-to-toe in that 'better than chocolate' substance and it's all the Doctor's doing. Thankfully, he manages to refrain from any 'good enough to eat' jokes. The Doctor has just declared war because nobody gunges Jack. Sarah-Jane and Mickey rush to defend Jack's honour whilst Rose is busy trying to gunge Jack even more. The Doctor attempts to gunge Rose. Jack desperately tries to keep the peace but after being coated in several different dishes, by accident or purpose, he decides to have some fun and gunges anything vaguely human shaped as identification is now extremely difficult. The food is flying and alliances are broken because recognition between ally and foe is impossible. Everybody soon adopts the method of throwing food at anybody who isn't them. It's the best fun they've all had in a long time.

Eventually, all the food has been thrown so much it's practically liquid, and the gang begins to tire. The food fight slows to a halt, everybody on the floor in fits of laughter, rolling around in the sludge.

"What a mess!" Jack complains.

"Jack, how come you're playing the housewife?" Sarah-Jane enquires of him. "I thought that was my role."

"Yes, you may be the neglected housewife." Jack admits, finding her and wiping the food off her face so he can look at her properly. "Making us all cups of coffee and tea, playing agony aunt and being completely taken for granted." He strokes her cheek before kissing it. He adds the conclusion of his speech in a British accent. "But I am your Jeeves. I am yours to command. I am here to serve, ma'am."

"Jack, you're not here to serve!" Rose says sincerely, as seriously as she can whilst coated in various foods from all over the Universe. "You're here to have fun."

"You need to relax more, man." Mickey tells him gruffly. "You can't be our butler, our assistant, our footybuddy, our studdybuddy, our dance partner, our teacher, our slave, our cook, our waiter, our instructor, our cleaner AND our friend! You can't be all things to all people. Being a friend is plenty enough."

"When did you get so wise?" Rose teases Mickey before kissing him on his rather tasty forehead.

"I just want to help." Jack says softly, helplessly. Sarah-Jane hugs him at that, Jack feels selfish but he leans into the embrace and he closes his eyes. When he opens them again he finds the banquet room sparkling clean. The Doctor had used his sonic screwdriver to emit a vacuum-hygenia wave whilst he wasn't looking. Jack looks at the Doctor in disbelief: the Doctor looks at Jack with a smug grin on his face.

"That solved that argument." The Doctor's grin intensifies. Jack accepts it with a sheepish smile, which makes the Doctor's grin falter as he tries to fight the butterflies in his stomach. The butterflies win.

"I've got to thank you guys for a birthday I'll always remember." Rose sighs, contentedly. "Thank you Jack, especially."

"It can't be over yet. It isn't over until we've danced!" Jack insists but quickly realises not everybody may want to. "I'm sorry. It's not my place to… It's a stupid suggestion. I'm sorry. It's getting late… I guess…"

"What did you have in mind, Jack?" Rose interrupts his self-refutation. It hurts her to see the Jack she once knew who lived for the limelight, now flinch whenever he's the centre of attention. It hurts the others more.

"… line dancing." He eventually replies, so softly. Thankfully, everybody is listening intently and after letting it sink in they are highly intrigued. Unfortunately, Jack takes the silence the wrong way and it about to leave as a voice stops him.

"Will you teach us?"

"Are you sure you want me to teach you?" Jack asks, uncertain and insecure.

"You lead, we'll follow." Rose reassures Jack before shooting an accusing glance at the Doctor.

"Erm, okay then. Let's take a break, clean up and get changed, then I'll meet all of you that want to come…"

"That's all of us." Mickey interjects. Jack looks disbelievingly at the Doctor but the Doctor just shrugs and gives him a weak smile in return and a slight nod of the head. With an internal sigh, the Doctor realises Rose is right: he'd follow Jack anywhere. He's sinking more and more in love, drowning it but it's too late to resurface, even if he wanted to.

By the time the Doctor manages to drag himself back to reality he finds he's all alone in the banquet room. The others have already gone to get changed, he doesn't even know what room they're all meeting in. The Doctor finally dawdles off, lost in the world of love.

* * *

Jack waits patiently in the club 'Bailé', the club he designed for Rose. He considers switching on some of the hyper holographical beings but thankfully Sarah-Jane comes to alleviate his loneliness and worries. He feels a wave of relief that at least someone has come but that emotion is soon replaced by a different one. His mouth opens wide and for a guy who was so anxious to talk to anybody, he can't think of a single smart thing to say.

"Wow!" Is the intelligent response he finally manages. But what else can you expect? She's dressed in a thin denim shirt, designed to show her curves; white necktie; stone washed and torn blue denim jeans, showing the tantalising flesh of her legs but only in agonising glimpses; and to top it all off, high heeled leather cowgirl boots. "Wow!" he repeats.

"Why thank you, kind Sir." She gives him a cowgirl wink, her fingers in the belt loops of her jeans. "You don't look so bad yourself." She smirks before walking right past him and sitting at the bar. There's no hyper holographical bartender so she reaches behind the bar and pours herself a small glass of XXX.

Jack has only just managed to close him mouth to find Mickey and Rose entering, arm-in-arm. Jack somehow manages to keep him mouth closed but his eyes are wide open, the pupils dilated.

Mickey's donned a white cowboy hat; white denim jeans; a red shirt, the top two buttons undone; his black polished shoes have spurs on them. His fingers skim the brim of his hat, nodding at Jack before kissing Rose so Jack knows she's his girl. Damn.

Rose has her hair in plaited pigtails; her purple and pink chequered shirt is rolled up at the sleeves and tied off just above her diaphragm; her blue denim skirt is so short it could serve as belt but Jack certainly isn't complaining; her cowgirl boots are knee-high, about three times longer than her skirt. She looks like a Country Western Goddess!

"Yeehaa!" Jack cries. "Now this is what I like to see. I'm glad ya'll put the effort in." But then the Doctor strolls in, in his usual brown pin-striped suit and coat. Jack is surprised the Doctor's turned up at all. He's being remarkably quiet though, he's taking in Jack's appearance.

Jack's cowboy boots are actually tap shoes in disguise; tight black trousers, with tassels; the most superb dark purple shirt, the material looking and flowing like shimmering liquid, the first few buttons undone showing off his broad chest, the sleeves rolled up showing off his muscular arms; a gun holster, no gun though; a black cowboy hat. He looks dressed to kill.

"There's only enough room in this TARDIS for the both of us." Mickey stares Jack out. "And I'm the sheriff of this here TARDIS town."

"Sure, you are." Jack agrees and doesn't challenge him. "In fact, here." Jack tosses him a sheriff's badge he had stored in his gun holster.

"And you're supposed to be a villain(!)" Mickey shakes his head, even as he's busy fastening the badge to his shirt. "You're not worthy of that black hat you're wearing. You should be wearing a white one."

"No, I need a black hat because I AM a villain." Jack protests but realises he sounds like a whining ten year old boy, not very intimidating. "I'm a very, very bad villain." The Doctor lets out a laugh at that unintended pun, only it comes out more like a giggle. There's silence for a few seconds but then Rose tugs on the Doctor's arm and drags him into the centre of the dance floor.

"You could have put more effort in, Doctor. It is my birthday after all." Rose moans. The Doctor is bewildered. Mickey unfastens his 'Sheriff' badge and tosses it to the Doctor. Rose catches it and puts it on the Doctor's shirt for him. Jack tosses Mickey a 'deputy sheriff' badge but Mickey tosses that to Sarah-Jane. She nods and puts it on. Jack rolls his eyes before taking control.

"Right, let's begin the class shall… Doctor are you really going to keep your coat on?" Jack asks, unable to focus when the Doctor has more layers than an Ilklictus cake. "Please can I take your coat, Doctor?" The Doctor shrugs wordlessly, pretty certain that if he does overheat it'll be nothing to do with the clothes he's wearing and all to do with Jack. Jack takes the Doctor's coat and at the feel of Jack's hands on his clothes, the Doctor decides he needs to shed his jacket too. After Jack's hung them both on the coat hook he turns to address his 'class'.

"Okay, I'll be teaching at the front, facing you. I'll be like a mirror to you." Jack takes charge, just slightly nervous. "We'll start with a few simple steps. Just a slow beat. I'll pick up the pace later and add more flourishes to the moves." He uses a device in his holster to switch on the music.

Five minutes later and the Doctor is struggling. He feels like a gumblejack fish out of water. He keeps bumping into everyone and Mickey's getting really frustrated because he's actually good at this. Jack's a good teacher but he's unlikely to think so as the Doctor keeps screwing up!

"He keeps going the wrong way!" Mickey complains after the Doctor bumps into him for the twelfth time.

"Keep up, Doctor! It's not as if we're going fast." Rose whines.

"Give the Doctor a break!" Sarah-Jane defends him. "It's not his fault he can't follow directions."

"I'm not stupid! I know my left from my right!" he insists.

"Yeah, it's just me that's stupid. I had that problem when I was a kid. Took me years to figure it out." Jack stoops his head low. "Had a problem with numbers, too."

"But… you're a genius!" The Doctor blurts out.

"No I'm not!" That comes out more harshly than Jack intended it to. "Numbers still give me a bit of a problem. I tend to use colours to code things. But the directions thing was kind of more vital yet it wasn't until I was 16 that I finally figured it out, just a simple trick. I say 'I' but it was actually Maria. 5 years old and born 3000 years before me and she still taught me knew things."

"The trick?" The Doctor asks, out of curiosity and not to stop Jack talking about Maria. Not at all.

"Stick out your left hand, the palm facing away from you. Your left hand, the other one Doc." Jack smiles softly but this only serves to make the Doctor more flustered. "Now, put your thumb at a 90° right angle. It makes a 'L'. L for left."

"Huh, would you look at that?" The Doctor admires. "900 years old and I never realised that. Mind you… I've never confused my directions before. And I won't ever again." Jack gives him a sparkling smile in response, which the Doctor can't help but return.

"Well, thank Maria not me. When I was a kid everybody told me your right hand was the one you write with. Practically nobody writes by hand in the 51st Century but I do because I'm a freak and I love the tactility. Trouble is, I'm ambidextrous so that advise confused me even more." He laughs nervously.

"That still doesn't change the fact I'm got two left feet." The Doctor whines.

"Nobody has two left feet." Jack replies. "Except for that character in that film I can't remember. And the Antirightans, but even they're good at dancing."

"I'm sure they are, when you're teaching them." The Doctor smiles. He and Jack have a moment and surprisingly, it isn't any of the girls who break it up. It's Mickey, who senses the possible danger.

"Are you teaching us, or what?" Mickey asks and Jack nods guiltily. He gets back to leading the class and as he promised, the tempo picks up and the moves become more complex. The Doctor's struggling slightly but they're all succeeding. It's actually kind of fun.

They all dance for hours, completing several routines. All enjoying themselves but finding themselves begin to tire. The Doctor isn't as good as the others but he's determined to get it right whilst the others are ready to call it a day. Sarah-Jane leaves first. A few minutes later, Rose decides she wants to go to bed too. Mickey's wary of leaving but Rose uses her seductive skills to lure him away. The Doctor and Jack are all alone.

The Doctor tries the routine again but he can't get it to work. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

"Don't worry, you'll get it." Jack reassures him, gently squeezing the Doctor's shoulder. "Perhaps you're trying too hard." The Doctor scoffs at that. Jack accusing HIM of trying too hard! Oh, the irony!

"I used to be a good dancer! Do you remember that?"

"Yeah, I do." Jack's voice is soft, his smile is soft, his eyes are soft, his hand is resting softly on the Doctor's shoulder. Jack doesn't realise how close he is but the Doctor is all too aware. He tries desperately to fight the urge but he's not good at fighting. He tentatively brushes Jack's lips with his own. Jack is still for a moment before retreating, running out of the room with tears in his eyes.

END of Chapter


	9. Chapter 8

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 08. Fear and Fleeing

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: The Doctor is afraid because Jack is intent on fleeing

Rating: PG

Word Count: 4,400

Warning: over the series there are a lot of references to other shows, actors, movies, games etc. so there may be spoilers for them. There may be the odd spoiler for Doctor Who episodes as well but I think I'm being rather cryptic.

Disclaimer: I am a lowly fan. This is FANfiction.

A/N: Takes place JUST after chapter 7.

Feedback: I'm not convinced by how this chapter turned out so I'd love your feedback.

**Fear and Fleeing**

"You can't just let him leave!" The Doctor screams at his companions. "Talk to him, you've got to make him stay. You've got to!" The Doctor begs.

"You should have just let him go in the first place." Rose replies harshly, but softens as she looks into the Doctor's eyes and realises he never had a choice.

"He won't listen to us. He's determined to go and we can't stop him." Sarah-Jane refuses to cry even as her voice breaks with emotion.

"It's all your fault!" Mickey blames the Doctor.

"I never meant to fall in love with him!" The Doctor argues. "I never meant to kiss him, it just happened. You shouldn't have left me alone with him. You knew it was going to happen eventually!"

"I didn't realise you'd be so stupid!" Mickey shouts. "He's going to leave, go out into the Universe, all alone again, sleeping and conning his way, just to survive. And I'm gonna lose the one true friend I've ever had because you're too busy thinking with the wrong head!" That was the polite way of putting it and it makes the Doctor's forehead wrinkle with confusion.

"You're as bad as Jack. This isn't just a crush!" The Doctor cries. "You may be losing your best friend, I'm losing the man I LOVE and there's nothing I can do or say to make him stay. I'm the REASON he's leaving and any pain you're feeling can't compare…" The Doctor refuses to say anymore because he's choked with emotion, his voice full of fear thinly disguised as anger. The TARDIS fills with silence for a few seconds.

"This isn't getting us anywhere." Sarah-Jane speaks softly, not to shatter the silence. Rose just sulks, but the atmosphere is such even she can't bring herself to do it noisily. "If we want Jack to stay we need to come up with a plan and we need to do it quickly. Does anybody have any ideas?" The TARDIS falls silent again. Not for long though as the Doctor can't stay quiet for lengthy periods of time.

"I can't believe he managed to fix his ship so quickly!" He kicks TARDIS' floor in frustration. "No, actually I can. I just kinda hoped he wouldn't wanna." He once again tries to stay silent and once again fails. "It's such a big ship for one man. Even bigger since the pirates stole most of it, just leaving the shell. I got lonely, rattling around in TARDIS but at least she's alive…"

The Doctor rambles on but Rose isn't listening. She leaves the boys in Sarah-Jane's capable, comforting and caring hands before going off to talk to Jack. Hopefully, he'll listen to her.

* * *

"Jack, please let me in." She bangs on the door of his spaceship. The door is opened using remote control. She still doesn't know where Jack is and it's a big, almost empty ship. After a quarter of an hour of searching she eventually finds him in the cockpit. It looks so bare, so damaged, so broken. "Are you really so desperate to get out of here that you're wiling to get yourself killed doing it? This ship looks like it'll explode as soon as you set off."

"She's not as ready as I'd like but she'll go. I've been working on this ship since I was five; my mom bought it for me after dad… died. I've grown up with this ship. He's never let me down before." Jack refuses to look at Rose as he speaks. "And in answer to your question: yes. If I stay around here I'll probably end up getting you all killed and I couldn't' live with that. It's best I leave now. It would have been better if I'd stayed dead at the Games station." His hand is trembling so hard he short circuits the wires he's working with.

"You don't mean that!" Rose screams, taking it personally when it was only meant generally. Jack doesn't even look up, focusing intently on the console but his concentration severely lacking.

"Yes I do." He whispers, hotly and sincerely.

"Nobody else thinks like that." Rose sits down in the co-pilot's seat. It's a seat that has only had a few occupants in the past. Sarah-Jane recently and Maria, over a decade ago. "Sarah-Jane doesn't think like that. You rescued her, showed her the stars again."

"She was better off without me. She was content: I was lonely. It was selfish of me to take her along. And it wasn't long before I screwed up. I let those pirates onto my ship. They bound and gagged her, forced her into a chair at gunpoint, stole K9…"

"They did a lot worse to you!" Rose interrupts. "I saw you! I saw what state they left you in! It was horrible. You were unconscious for days, despite all the constant care the Doctor and TARDIS were giving you. I've never seen the Doctor so worried." Jack can't stand to hear that.

"She should have left me to die. Taken the escape pod like I said. The Doctor wouldn't have cared if he already thought I was dead. He shouldn't. I don't matter. You matter; Sarah-Jay matters; the Doctor matters; Mickey matters more than me. You should want me to go, force me to go, because when people are around me they get killed."

"It isn't your fault, Jack!" Rose tries to make him listen. "The Doctor once told me that Death is the only constant thing in the Universe." She smiles before adding, "well, that and taxes." Her smile widens as she sees a tug of Jack's lips. It's odd, but she also remembers another universality the Doctor told her: love. She doesn't tell Jack that though because she's trying to make him stay, not leave quicker. "You've just been unlucky is all."

"I'm not the unlucky one, I survived. It's everyone I've ever loved who's been unlucky." Jack walks away to get more tools to fix the panel. Rose follows him. Jack continues talking. "That's why I don't love anyone anymore." And for the first time Rose realises how deluded Jack is. Jack is probably the most loving guy she's ever met. He cares too much. That makes him hurt too much. "I'm sorry." Jack states, suddenly coming to a halt.

"What?" Rose stares at him, she wasn't even aware he knew she was there. "What for?"

"For coming between you and the Doctor." He elaborates before rushing off to get the tools he needs. Rose waits, standing like a statue with her brain racing for five whole minutes before Jack returns, loaded up with so many tools he looks more machinery than man.

"You don't think me and the Doctor were… y'know." Rose gestures, following Jack who, although weighted down by tools, is still surprisingly speedy. "I know we flirted a bit but it weren't serious. I were with Mickey. I AM with Mickey." She knows she's protesting a lie, on so many levels. Jack ruined her chances with the Doctor but deep down she realises that was probably for the best. Deep down she realises that she was never in love with the Doctor, only in love with the lifestyle, with the adventure, what the Doctor represents, the new and exciting, not the man himself. Deep down she understands that that's the difference between her relationship with the Doctor compared to Jack's. What Jack and the Doctor have is real, more solid, based on the truth, and that's why it scares them both so much. But she only accepts that deep down. On the surface, she resents and objects to that even though she tries not to.

"You really love him, don't you?" Rose purposely keeps her voice tender. She leans against the wall inside the cockpit and watches as Jack frantically tries to fix his ship. He doesn't look up, he just sighs, pauses slightly before returning to attend to his ship. She reads his body language and interprets that as a 'yes'. "That's why you're leaving."

"I'm leaving to find K9!" Jack insists. "Reunite him with Sarah-Jay. Fix what I broke, what I lost. Put right what I messed up, screwed up!" His left hand slips and the tender flesh is ripped open by a melted piece of jagged metal. He grabs an oily rag and wraps it around his hand before continuing to put the finishing touches to his ship. The control panel lights up.

"What will you do after that?" Rose asks but Jack has no reply. He shrugs, meaning he'll do what he always does: sleep and con his way through the Universe. He'll do whatever it takes to survive, which is ironic because of the amount of times he's wished he wasn't alive. But he's too much of a coward to die; living is a far worse punishment than death. "But you're still leaving."

"I have to. I'm sorry." And he is. He always is and it disgusts him. "I'm not used to staying in one place for very long. It's not how I am. It's not who I am. It's how I was born, to a stable family but situations change, I had to adapt. I had to keep moving. And now I can't stop."

"So you're leaving on my birthday?" Rose sulks, knowing it's a low blow but even if she has to guilt him into staying she knows he's got to get him to stay somehow. It surprisingly backfires.

"I spent my birthday on Satellite 5. Alone." He tries and fails to keep the bitterness out of his voice and he hates himself for it. He's bitter because he let himself fall for them, he let himself become part of the team, and he let himself trust them. He was a fool, and now he's determined not to make the same mistake again. He's determined about that and because he's too busy repairing his ship he fails to notice the hurt, pained and shocked look on Rose's face.

"You really are leaving…" and she's surprised by how much this realisation is affecting her. She never really believed it up until now and even now she's still unwilling to accept it. She knows she'll get over it but Mickey and the Doctor… it'll cut them so deep and Rose doesn't want that. Not really. It'll hurt Sarah-Jane too but she'll recover quickly. It'll take Mickey longer but eventually he'll move on, forget. She doubts the Doctor ever will though. If Jack realised the pain he's causing by leaving he might stay, but he's oblivious to it. Rose wants to tell him, wants to beg but after one deep look into his eyes she realises he's hurting most of all. "Good luck. I hope you find what you're looking for."

Jack is struck by her words. He stops working to look her in the eyes. He stares at her for a moment, a puzzled look upon his face before eventually breaking into a sad smile. The look in his eyes is one of relief, gratitude and happiness. He thanks her without words.

"You better go now." Jack tells her tenderly. "I'm leaving now. If she co-operates." 'She,' meaning his ship. "I don't think the Doctor would appreciate it much if I took you with me."

"I don't think he'd mind." Rose mutters under her breath. Thankfully, Jack doesn't hear her as he's too busy switching on the engines. The engines don't start, but the console he's working on blows up.

"Jack, are you okay!" Rose screams in concern. He doesn't reply. He's unconscious and it isn't until Rose starts pounding his chest he begins to breathe again, his heart begins to beat again. "Jack!"

"I'm fine." He chokes out, gasping for breathe. He clambers to his feet to examine what went wrong and how to fix it. He's so determined to leave but Rose knows he wants to stay. She can't force him though.

"It's just the fuse. Dammit, I don't have another one on board, they all got taken. I should have realised I'd be taking up more power now than she was when she was in full working order. Back then I had the best of the best, designed to be energy efficient. Now I don't have that, of course I don't that. Of course she's using up more energy now. God, I'm so stupid!" To emphasise this he bangs his left hand onto the console, the blood squirts out of the makeshift bandage and covers the console. Something else for him to clear up.

"You're not stupid, Jack." Rose corrects him, dismissing his self-loathing rant. "You're just tired. Everybody makes mistakes when you're tired. You're only human."

"There's so many ways to interpret that word." Jack snorts. "Fallible, weak, tragic, small-minded, warrior, murderer, machiavellian, and 'humanity' is a laugh. What's supposed to mean 'kindness, forgiveness, and love' can easily be replaced with 'selfishness, greed and hate'. There's no humanity in a species that kills men for refusing to fight, where half the species is too fat and the other half is starving. Any humanity I've had in me was eliminated years ago, to survive or serve a purpose to the Agency. I don't want to be human yet at the same time, I don't deserve to be."

Rose looks him deep in the eyes for seconds which stretch out to seem like lifetimes. Then she kisses him: sweetly, innocently but deeply on the lips. It's odd but the fear he felt at the feel of the Doctor's lips on his own seems to be replaced with the sweet feeling of Rose's. It's a friendly, reassuring kiss. Rose smiles, thoroughly satisfied she's reminded Jack that humanity can be good. Very good. It's a while before either of them speak.

"I'm going to have to get another fuse from TARDIS." He whispers but his heart isn't really in it. With Rose's kiss he's forgotten the reason he wants to leave, but he still knows he has to. He sets off to find a fuse in TARDIS' mechaparts miscellaneous room, closely followed by Rose.

* * *

Of course, to get to the mechaparts miscellaneous room he's got to pass the room in the TARDIS that the Doctor, Mickey and Sarah-Jane are in. Jack and Rose are very shocked by what they find:

Mickey and the Doctor are fighting. Physically fighting. Really fighting. Wrestling. Boxing. Actually trying to cause each other pain. Sarah-Jane has obviously given up on trying to separate them, reaching the conclusion it would just be quicker and easier to let them duke it out. The most shocking part is that Mickey seems to be winning. The Doctor has a bust lip and a bruised cheek. Mickey is relatively injury free, a painful twinge in his shoulder whilst the Doctor is aching everywhere. They both stop fighting the second they see Jack. The tableau is quite hilarious until after a few seconds they straighten themselves up and dust themselves off.

"What the hell happened to you?" The Doctor asks, his voice a lot higher than he'd like due to fear, concern and surprise. It's not like the Doctor to curse but that's just another example of the effect Jack has on him.

"What do you mean, 'what the hell happened to me?'? What the hell happened to you?" Jack's voice is equally as full of fear, concern and surprise but it isn't as high. "Were you fighting? You don't fight! And I'm beginning to see the reason for that. Are you okay? Give me your sonic screwdriver, I'll fix you up."

"What happened to your hand? What happened to you?" The Doctor asks. He gets his screw driver out but doesn't give it to Jack.

"He slit his hand open working on his ship. Banged his head. Blew himself up. Took thousands of volts of electricity. Stopped breathing." Rose lists the injuries Jack's sustained trying to run away. It sounds absurd and Jack realises that. He still won't let the Doctor fix him though.

"Why were you fighting with Mickey?" Jack queries. "When I leave I want you all to have a BIG party."

"'When'?" The Doctor quotes, questioning.

"I mean now. I am leaving now." Jack insists sleepily and softly. "You know you shouldn't fight Mickey, Doctor. I've been teaching him self-defence. He's a good study, a quick learner, he can even beat me on an off-day." Jack slyly snatches the sonic screwdriver out of the Doctor's hand and fixes the Doctor's split lip and bruised cheek. Mickey shakes his head because he knows how both guys want to play Doctors and Nurses, can't stand to see anybody in pain. But Jack is still bleeding and he's walking off to get what he needs to fix his ship. To leave.

"You know I don't love you, right?" The Doctor blurts out, in an attempt to make Jack stay. The others stare at him, knowing it's so blatantly a lie but Jack doesn't question it. He glances over his shoulder to reply.

"That's always good to know." He states sincerely, fighting back a yawn. A thought occurs to him, which makes him stop and turn around to face the Doctor fully. "Why did you kiss me then?" Jack asks and the Doctor doesn't know how to answer. Quick-thinking Mickey answers for him.

"Why did Data kiss that woman?"

"You'll have to a bit more specific. For a robot, Data got a lot of women in Star Trek." Jack smiles. You've got to love Brent Spiner. Or at least, he does. Then the episode Mickey is alluring to enters Jack's head and he addresses the Doctor. "You kissed me because I looked like I could do with it?" Jack asks, astonished.

"Jack, you always look like you could do with a kiss." Sarah-Jane kisses him on the forehead, slipping her left hand into his right and in return he rests his head on her shoulder, thinking about it.

"It would explain why Rose kissed me just now." Mickey's eyes widen at that revelation. The Doctor's eyes narrow. "I'm sorry Mickey! I didn't mean… God, I'm so stupid!"

"nah, it's okay man. I forgive ya." Mickey responds but that doesn't mean Jack forgives himself. "I'm gonna go now, before I hug you." That makes Jack smile, Mickey has no intention on leaving just yet. "If you truly want my forgiveness you can let me beat you at soccer, FOOTBALL, I mean. You'll let me save some of your goals. 0900 hours tomorrow." Mickey glances at his watch. "today, in fact." Jack splutters, trying to explain how he doesn't intend on being here then but he doesn't get a chance.

"And after absorbing thousands of volts of electricity, you really should stay, for observation." The Doctor tries to resist but can't help adding, "Doctor's orders."

"I'm fine!" Jack reiterates. "My hair's a little fried, a little frizzy but I'm fine!" He removes the bloody bandage to find his hand has already started healing.

"And you're far more likely to find K9 using TARDIS technology." Rose continues with the logical arguing.

"I just want you to stay." Sarah-Jane states simply and TARDIS hums in agreement. Jack lets out a sleepy laugh. He's forgotten how good it feels to have friends. Now he's got four. Five including TARDIS. And he's too weak to push them away.

"Fine, I'll stay." Jack concedes. "Just until I've found K9." Rose squeals anyway and hugs Mickey. Sarah-Jane grips Jack's right hand slightly tighter. The Doctor lets out a sigh of relief only to find his old fear has been replaced by a whole new wave. "is anyone going to celebrate with me?"

"Sorry Jack. But after the food, after the dancing," Sarah-Jane points to her clothes, reminding Jack they're all still in their line-dancing outfits. "It's been an exhausting day, and I need to get my beauty sleep."

"nah, you're already beautiful enough." Jack charms her.

"Goodnight Jack." She laughs lightly.

"Goodnight." He kisses her goodnight and reluctantly lets her go. "Won't anybody else party with me? Rose? Mickey?" If Jack is going to stay, he doesn't want to be left alone.

"No can do Jack." Rose smirks. "Mickey and me are going to bed now. It is still my birthday after all." She grins and Jack bows his head in acceptance.

"Besides, your idea of a party is to read really cheesy poetry and watch even cheesier musicals."

"I'm sorry, Mickey. I shouldn't have made you watch it with me. I'm sorry you didn't like it." Jack apologises, unaware that the real reason Mickey is causing such a kafuffle is that Mickey actually DID enjoy it.

"I'm sure the Doctor would watch it with you." Mickey suggests, making Rose scoff and the Doctor splutter.

"He doesn't have to." Jack says abruptly. "I mean… not if he doesn't want to. It's probably best of he doesn't…" He continues to ramble whilst Rose whispers to Mickey that she'll be waiting for him in the bedroom. She leaves him to it.

"I won't kiss you again. Promise." The Doctor says, making Mickey grimace.

"Oh." Jack gasps. "I wasn't thinking of that."

"He's just thinking: if he watches a tragedy, he'll bawl like a baby; if it's a comedy, he'll giggle at the gags and squeal like a girl; if it's a musical, he'll bawl like a baby at the tragic bits, giggle like a girl at the funny bits and sing along with the songs." Mickey explains before adding to the Doctor in an aside, 'are you sure you won't kiss him now?' The Doctor goes pale. Mickey leaves chuckling.

"Don't worry Doctor. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. It's just…" Jack doesn't want to be on his own tonight. "I'll watch 'the Producers.' That always cheers me up."

"I'd like to watch it with you." The Doctor offers, just a bit too quickly.

"Are you sure? It's very camp. The Nathan Lane one, not the Gene Wilder one. We can watch the Gene Wilder one if you want. I love Gene Wilder. I love Nathan Lane. Nathan Lane is a comic genius, a great performer. And Uma Thurman is a goddess in it. But it is outrageously camp. Mickey hates me 'cos I made him watch it. I learnt my lesson and watched 'the Birdcage' alone. I got him to watch 'Isn't She Great?' though and I get where he's coming from because I did chuckle at it. Chuckle, not giggle. And I did cry, just a little, at the end. Mickey's right: I do kind of have a Nathan Lane obsession but the guy's a great actor, a great singer, a great comic, a great performer…" Jack rambles on and the Doctor realises Mickey was right about a lot of things. He's having to fight the urge to kiss Jack, just to get him to shut up.

"Just get the film." The Doctor interrupts. "your choice, since I actually don't know WHAT you're on about."

"Right." Jack realises. "900 year old Time Lord." He accepts before asking, "How could you survive without TV for 900 years?"

"I haven't. I just haven't watched every single movie and programme ever broadcast. Although, I bet you've seen shows that were never even aired!" the Doctor smiles at Jack's guilty look. "You're 28 years old! How can you know so much, so young?"

"I'm 29." Jack tells him softly. "And I don't know that much. All my knowledge is superfluous. Useless." That earns him a disbelieving stare from the Doctor.

"You're wiser than me." The Doctor admits. It's an easy thing to admit about Jack. "TARDIS prefers you to me. Seriously, she won't let me fix her when she can have your talented hands instead." Jack is about to apologises but the Doctor cuts him off. "You're the only other man she's ever trusted. That's not a bad thing. And you've been able to educate Mickey the Idiot. You can't say that you're not smart." Jack says nothing. "Choose whatever film you like, the one you'll most enjoy." The Doctor insists before adding, "And don't worry about the campness. In my Sixth regeneration I visited Pampros."

"Impressive," Jack admits in awe. "I lived there for three weeks. But when my brother got custody of me, he made us move. It's a shame because I loved it but I think it was just a bit too much for my eleven year old brother." Jack laughs.

"You're not camp!" The Doctor exclaims.

"Tell me that after you've watched the movie with me." he replies before choosing the Nathan Lane version. The Doctor sits back on the settee and relaxes. Jack starts sitting down but soon moves, acting out the action and performing the songs. He's really more entertaining than the film, even though the film is highly entertaining.

Jack is so happy, so hyper, talking a million miles a minutes, explaining all the trivia on the actors, paraphrasing the director's commentary, wishing life was really like a West End or Broadway musical, the happy ones of course. It's so endearing to see something the Captain is so passionate about. Jack should have been a singer, an actor, anything but a soldier.

Jack's so talented. He's confident too and this is a new side of Jack the Doctor hasn't seen before, not when it wasn't an act. But as enthusiastic as Jack is, he can't fight his exhaustion. By the end of the movie his head is resting on the Doctor's shoulder and he drifts off to sleep. The Doctor can't get up so TARDIS decides to play the film again, so the Doctor can watch it without Jack's lively distractions. But the Doctor is still distracted by a sleeping Jack, enjoys the weight beside him.

Jack sleeps remarkably soundly at first, but 20 minutes after the movie has finished the Captain lets out an horrific, blood-curdling scream in what sounds like a name: 'Maryanne.' The Doctor is there to comfort him. Jack cries himself to sleep only to wake up from another nightmare minutes later. He soon gives up on sleep, dries his eyes and chooses another film to educate the Doctor on. He never says what the nightmares are about and the Doctor doesn't press. He just tries to be there for him.

FIN chapter 8


	10. Chapter 9

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 09. A Trick and Troublesome Trail

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: TARDIS has picked up a trail that could lead to K9. But where does it **really** lead?

Rating: PG-13, violence, sexual references. Although there is one section that turned out hotter than I planned;-) That's possibly an R

Word Count: Just over 7,000!

Warning: references to 'the Lion King' and 'Hamlet'. A few mild Doctor Who references. Also, I apologise to Rose fans. I don't think I've portrayed her as nicely as the TV series but I do try to justify her actions and attitude.

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of Doctor Who and am not making any money from it. FYI I'm a student, so it's not worth suing.

A/N: I really should have done more research on the era. It's probably full of anachronisms. Sorry.

Feedback: I'm actually getting more insecure the further along I get with this fic. Don't ask me how that works. It's weird, huh? So I guess that's a very polite and British 'yes please' for the feedback. If that doesn't work, I'm not above begging.

**09. A Trick and Troublesome Trail**

"What the hell is going on?" Mickey grumbles, not very happy about being kicked out of Rose' bed to find out. Whilst Jack explains, Sarah-Jane and the Doctor enter and listen to him intently.

"TARDIS has detected something flying through Time and Space which ISN'T supposed to be there. The flight pattern's so erratic it's probably been sabotaged or something's gone wrong. TARDIS says it's mauve so it's very dangerous, and it's gonna land somewhere it's not meant to be. Normally I wouldn't follow it. If it's dangerous I don't want to but anybody at risk. Somebody else from the Agency will fix it if it's that detrimental to the timeline. However, it's emitting a faint tachion trail that matches the pirate ship. It's a long shot but it could be them. K9 could have sabotaged it. I know it's a slim chance, I know it's dangerous and stupid of me but if there's just a CHANCE of getting K9 back I'll take it. You don't have to come, in fact it's best if you don't, but I need to go. Doctor, I request permission to follow the target, sir." Silence ensues.

"Permission granted." The Doctor forces himself to say even though he really wants to lecture Jack about the fact he doesn't need to ask for permission. He hates formality and hates to see it in Jack. The Doctor shows his enthusiasm by adding, "Let's do this."

"Hang on, it's gonna get bumpy." Jack instructs with a small, insecure smile. Sarah-Jane clings to the Doctor and when the TARDIS jolts, Mickey is the only one who almost goes flying. Almost, but Jack catches him in time. Jack is about to apologise, he should have made sure everybody would be safe, but Mickey interrupts him.

"Thanks." He tells Jack, looking him straight in the eye whilst straightening up. Jack has no choice but to accept Mickey's thanks and nods in acknowledgment. It's not an acknowledgement that goes unnoticed, lifting the spirits of TARDIS and occupants. It may be small, but it is a start.

"Don't relax just yet though. TARDIS is in fast pursuit. Following the target madly. No idea where she'll end up; no idea WHEN we'll land." Jack is talking himself out of the idea but the others won't let him.

"I can't wait. It's so exciting." Sarah-Jane tugs on the Doctor's arm, genuinely eager. "It's just like the old days." The Doctor smiles at the memories.

The tension in TARDIS accumulates with every passing second, becoming almost palpable by the time they land. They arrive at the destination with a jolt, which succeeds in throwing everybody to the floor. Everybody just laughs though, not even noticing the pain through the adrenaline coursing through their bodies.

"Where are we, Jack?" Mickey is the first one to ask, his voice gruffer than usual with anticipation. Jack checks the read-out. A picture flares up on the TV screen and Jack can't help but burst into a smile, his hand taps begins tapping a rhythm on his thigh, his feet tap a rhythm on the floor.

"It looks like the 1960s, America, judging by the music scene. Huh, what are the odds of landing on Earth?" Jack trails off, absorbed by the screen. There's no sound but that's okay: he recognises Dean Martin when he sees him. And Jack learned to lip-read at a very early age; it's a very useful skill. Mr. Martin has just finished a song to receive what must be a rapturous applause. Jack recognises the next song almost before Mr. Martin starts to sing which is absurd because Jack can't hear the orchestra but he still finds himself singing along anyway.

He isn't aware of his friends staring at him, he's barely aware of where he is. In his mind he's in Mr. Martin's place, playing to the crowd, feeding off the crowd, energy and inspiration bouncing back and forth, multiplying and growing and gaining a life of it's own. He faultlessly croons 'You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You', completely unaware of the irony which strikes Sarah-Jane and Mickey so acutely. It struck the Doctor for about a moment before awe took over. Now the Doctor's in such a hypnotic state a physical blow wouldn't even affect him.

He never realised how sex and singing could so be alike but now he can't help but draw parallels. He's seen Jack in the throes of both and there are definite similarities. He's seen Jack sing before, this isn't the first time, but he's still overwhelmed by the intimacy of it.

Jack's eyes are now closed, better to shut out reality and focus on the sensation. He remembers that look from before, the Doctor forced himself to watch, to burn the image into his memory even as ecstasy and desire made him want to close his eyes because it was all too much. He forced himself to look because he knew he might not get a second chance. Yet there's no skin-on-skin this time; no frantic friction; no torso sliding against torso; no hips bucking and demanding more contact, more heat, just more; no reciprocated lust; there's no carnal pleasures of the flesh. There's only Jack, exercising his vocal chords, singing note after flawless note with such precision and such emotion it can't help but affect anyone who hears.

Jack is finding the process so cathartic, he's lost in the lyrics and the melody of the song, his past just melts away, all his sins are forgotten, forgiven. Nothing else exists, just for those few moments, nothing but the music.

A vein is throbbing at the base of Jack's neck. It's a vein the Doctor has memories about; a vein the Doctor has dreams about. He only saw it once as his past regeneration and then he was nuzzling it, feeling the pulse of Jack's blood with his tongue. The Doctor could feel another vein in the grasp of his fist, pulsing even stronger. He has different hands now.

It's a vein the Doctor's only seen three times: then, the Galaxy Cup final, and now. Mickey calls it the 'Frankenstein vein' but the Doctor likes to think of it as a vein of passion. Jack tends to try and hide his passion nowadays and it's a pity. Fear, guilt and shame seem to rule him now, his head always tilted to the floor. But now his throat is exposed. His head is tilted back in pleasure, so open and trusting.

The Doctor could go on and on but the song has come to an end. Probably a good thing because the similarities between sex with Jack and listening to Jack sing means they both have the same profound and physical effect on the Doctor. Thankfully, with his coat covering up the physical and Sarah-Jane and Mickey covering up the Doctor's inability for coherent thought and speech, Jack fails to notice.

"Beautifully sung, my dear." Sarah-Jane congratulates him.

"Yeah, nice one." Mickey acknowledges, stunning Jack for a moment. Jack was going to apologise for singing out loud but his friends have made it very clear he doesn't have to. His mouth flaps open and closed for several moments but he avoids any glares by not saying 'sorry'. Eventually, he moves on to what he was going to say after he'd apologised.

"I don't think I'll be long. I just need to identify what made the trail, why it was mauve and…"

"You're not going out there on your own, are you?" The Doctor has to interrupt. Fear and concern snapping him back to reality. The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think.

"I was planning to…" Jack admits, trailing off because the Doctor is glaring at him. He's deep in thought, thinking how to explain himself.

"Where's the fun in that?" The Doctor grins manically. "We'll all go."

"But it might be dangerous…" Jack tries to protest.

"Ha! I laugh in the face of danger!" Mickey adopts a brave pose, only to be belittled by the Doctor.

"More like scream." The Doctor grins, nudging Sarah-Jane because they both recall what Mickey was like fighting the Krillitanes.

"Besides, remember what happened to Simba just after he said that." Jack deliberately goes off on a tangent and the Lion King is one helluva tangent, Jack could talk about the Lion King forever but Mickey's heard it all before. Jack feels a wave of guilt about subjecting Mickey to a daylong ramble about the film but perhaps it was worth it because Mickey is giving him a knowing look.

"Yeah, but we've got our Mufasa to protect us." Sarah-Jane says and Mickey nods firmly, glad he didn't have to say it because that would have sounded gay, but he whole-heartedly agrees. Everybody waits patiently for it to dawn on Jack that they're talking about him. It is well worth the wait.

"I'm not Mufasa, I'm Scar!" Jack insists." I'm to my brother, a satyr to Hyperion…"

"Don't start with 'Hamlet' again. You're worse than Kenneth Branagh." Mickey pre-empts the protests that are about to pour from Jack's mouth "and I know it's a good film, you spent 8 hours afterwards explaining to me why it's a good film! You spent 8 hours lecturing me, comparing all the Hamlets, and there's a lot of them, especially with it still being performed in the 51st Century and all. I was half asleep for the last hour of your rather passionate speech and it still got through! You are such a geek, man!" Mickey scoffs.

"But it is SUCH a good story!" Jack defends. "I mean, Shakespeare tended to steal plots but his language and the way he tells them, it brings out so much humanity! I find it fascinating that the story is so universal, with so much emotion, you can even play the story out with animated lions and the audience will still react so strongly. Coupled with the music and Tim Rice's lyrics… It's so powerful, so human! You've got kids weeping at the death of Mufasa…"

"Kids?" Mickey interrupts, smirking.

"I lost my dad when I was 5, kind of brought back memories. Made me sympathise with a hand-drawn lion cub!" Jack laughs bitterly and his tone is serious once more. "But I had no Scar telling me to run away. I still had my mum and my brother. Then I just had my brother. Then I was 15, and had no one. That's when I ran away." Jack coughs, trying to clear his throat, trying to clear the away the tears forming in his eyes. "It's all a bit of a blur, my childhood. That's pretty much all I remember. And I don't even really remember that, not in the first-person." Jack knows it as facts and dates, not as names and faces. "I don't even know their names. I think my brother's was Robert but that's probably false. And as for surnames…" Jack shakes his head and quickly wipes away a tear.

"It's all good though." Jack insists, hating how heavy his voice sounds. "I met Maria. I lost a family, gained a sister." He smiles softly. "You can blame her for my love of Shakespeare. And of Disney." He laughs a watery laugh. "Have you ever seen 'The Lion King' on stage? I haven't, but Maria saw it on a school trip. She didn't eat for a week to have enough money to pay for it. She managed to find enough trouble in the area so she could fight it and stay at school for three months to qualify for the trip. She sent me an essay on it, so long and descriptive she made me feel as though I was there. I wish I still had the essay, I'd show it to you. If you think I'M passionate about this…" Jack cuts himself off and sighs. "But it was lost, a long time ago." There's a moment of silence as there always is whenever Jack talks about his past. It's becoming more frequent but every single account still carries as much weight and tragedy.

But they haven't got time to contemplate the past now, as TARDIS eventually tells them. The TV screen flashes again but this time the video is different. A glimpse of the aliens and Jack knows it's not the 'merchants'; it's something much, much worse.

"I've got to go alone. The Hakturie are a race of warriors. They won't be pleased about being stranded on Earth and they won't think twice about killing anything that crosses them and their bad mood. If I go maybe I can fix their ship, in exchange for their co-operation, for their peace. If I get close enough I can reverse the frequency of their trisonic whips. If they kill me or anybody else using their whips, they'll all die. It's a win-win situation." Jack offers, confident he's thought out a realistic, thorough and practical plan. The Doctor disagrees.

"You're not going alone. Have you ever heard of safety in numbers?" The Doctor tries to keep his voice steady but he's almost frantic. "I can't let you go out there alone. I won't!" Jack is confused by the Doctor's outburst.

"I'll see you at the club, once you boys have finished arguing." Rose strolls in, wearing a red 1950's style dress courtesy of TARDIS, then she strolls outside, treading into the past as though she hasn't a care in the world.

"I guess that solved the debate." The Doctor shrugs.

"Did she just call me a boy?" Sarah-Jane asks, not believing her ears. "I mean, I have dressed as a boy in the past, as a disguise." She recalls. "Do you remember that, Doctor? I even called myself Jack." Jack smiles at that. Great minds think alike. "I can't believe she called me a boy."

"I think you made rather a good boy." The Doctor comments. Nobody replies.

"Don't you think you'd better go after Rose, Doctor?" Jack is concerned. "I'd go but I'm not suitably attired." The outfit's from the era, but he can hardly go out in pyjamas.

"We'll all go. I'll go on ahead though, and catch up with Rose. Get kitted up, all of you, and we'll see you at the club. Bye!" The Doctor ducks out of the TARDIS before anybody has enough time to respond. Mickey, Sarah-Jane and Jack are all left with no option but to go and get changed.

* * *

"I'm telling you Mickey, you look like you belong in the 30's not the 60's." Sarah-Jane laughs.

"Maybe." He admits. "But I look good, don't I?" Mickey grins, tipping his hat.

"Yeah. Don't worry. Everything's Jake, everything's Jake." Jack reassures him using 1930's slang. "It's fine to wear stuff from the past, it's stuff from the future you've got to be careful about." Jack jokes before shuddering. "Urgh, I had to learn that the hard way." He laughs before getting serious. "You know, you two should really wait back at TARDIS."

"You really let us have no fun…"

"This isn't a game!" Jack's severity stuns all of them, including himself but he's worried. That alone is enough to scare him. "The Hakturie are a very dangerous race…"

"You've taught me how to defend myself." Mickey points out. "And Sarah-Jane knows how to handle herself too. I know she may look all sweet and innocence in that cute little outfit but we know better." Mickey laughs.

"Or do you doubt us?" Sarah-Jane asks even though she knows the answer. It's not them that he doubts, it's himself. "We'll be fine. Come on, the Doctor and Rose will be waiting for us." Jack and Mickey let her lead the way.

* * *

"Hey Rose. Enjoying the show?" Mickey scoffs. Rose just glares at him because he knows she isn't. Everybody in the whole joint can tell she's bored. She may have been able to stave of her boredom if it was someone famous, like Frank Sinatra, but it's not. It's just some guy and a band. This really isn't her scene. Give her a 21st Century rave any day and this is about as far from a 21st Century rave as you can get.

"Where's Jack?" The Doctor tries to ask as lightly as he can, making Rose laugh bitterly at the attempt.

"Oh, he's around here somewhere. He's just…" Mickey is interrupted as Jack, still at the other side of the room, bumps into a very poshly dressed woman and knocks her to the floor. He helps her up, his eyes torn between the stage and her. She's awfully good looking but the man in the limelight is also very attractive, a talented singer and a wonderful performer. Jack is mesmerised. By both of them.

"I'm sorry Ma'am." Jack apologises, distracted as he helps her up. She holds onto his hand for longer than she has to. She's obviously checking him out, not shy about it and Jack has to admire that.

"The name is Mary-Sue. Mary-Sue Allen." She tells him, with a look so smouldering he's surprised he doesn't spontaneously combust. But he can't help but shudder at the name and the memories that come with it. Oh, how he's wept for little Mary. But that's the past, and this is the present. And as intense as Mary-Sue's gaze is, he still can't help but glance at the stage, a look of longing in his eyes. "Are you a singer?"

"Me! No!" Jack laughs out loud at the idea.

"Is it so ridiculous?" She questions, her eyes burning a hole in him, staring straight into his soul. "I'd give you a job. You look like a born entertainer."

"Just because I'm wearing 'Top Hat, White Tie and Tails'…" he trails off because although he's trying to joke, he can't hide how much he wants this.

"I wasn't kidding about that job." Mary-Sue stresses. "I own this club."

"That's impressive." Jack smirks in admiration. "You're obviously a smart woman. With the beauty to match." He pauses and lets her accept the compliments. "But you can't be that smart if you're willing to put me on the stage."

"I know you could do it." She declares with confidence. "You've got the charisma. You've got the charm, the looks. You sound like you've got a good voice. I haven't seen it yet but I dare say you've got talent. Maybe not the confidence but I'm sure if I got you up on stage you'd find it somewhere. Look at you, everybody in this place can't take their eyes off of you. I think you're the only one still looking at the act on stage. Y'know, he finishes his set in fifteen minutes. And there's not another act booked for over an hour."

"Wait a second!" Jack's head is reeling, still trying to comprehend all she's just told him. "First of all, they're just staring at me because I stupidly knocked over the most beautiful woman in the room and they can't understand why she's still talking to a shmuck like me. Second of all," Jack's entire body moves back as he finally realises, "You're really offering me a job?" She smiles at that, a Hollywood smile.

"You've definitely got the charm." She laughs. Jack shakes his head but he's smiling too. "So, what do you say about that job?" she leans in seductively and Jack can't think straight with want.

"I… I'm busy. I…" Jack bites his lip, knowing he'll regret his decision, whichever one he makes. "I've just got to check with my friends, first. I'll get back to you. I hope I can do it."

"I know you can do it." Mary-Sue twists his words leaving him speechless. He just shakes his head wordlessly before making his way to the table the Doctor and company are sitting. It's surprising he doesn't bump into more people as he's now torn between his destination, the stage and Mary-Sue. He's not looking where he's going but that's fine because like Mary-Sue said, everybody is watching him. Jack is oblivious to it though.

"What did 'she' want?" The Doctor asks so harshly Jack actually cowers slightly. "What DOES she want?" The Doctor's voice is cold enough to make a polar bear shiver and although Jack notes the tone, it never crosses his mind that the Doctor might be jealous.

"Her name is Mary-Sue Allen." Jack flinches slightly whilst saying 'Mary' but he continues nevertheless. "She own this club and she's offered me a job. On stage, after this act finishes." Jack is still in a daze, a far away look on his face. When everybody starts congratulating him, Rose does so sarcastically, Jack is suddenly jolted back to reality. "I haven't said 'yes', yet!"

"Why not?"

"I… It's…" Jack struggles to find the reason he's looking for. "The Hakturie!"

"Are you sure that's the only reason?" The Doctor's face is serious and Jack doesn't know how to reply. "Do you want to do this?"

"More than anything." Jack admits. "But the Hakturie…"

"Are not your responsibility." The Doctor's words are firm but Jack still isn't sure. "This is an opportunity for you. The Hakturie can wait a couple of hours. You've earned this. You deserve it." Jack is shaking his head. His head and heart are tearing him apart. The adrenaline is already pumping through his body and he can't decide wether to use it to fight or to perform.

"If it makes you feel better, I'll send the others back to TARDIS to keep them safe." The Doctor offers. "And we'll find the Hakturie together, as soon as you've finished on stage. Just you and me. " It's a plan. "Go on, you know you want to." And Jack does. So, so much. He eventually gives into his heart's desire and nods, ever so slightly.

"Can't we stay and watch?" Mickey pleads.

"Of course not. It's too dangerous." The Doctor rebuffs before whispering to Mickey, "You can watch him on TARDIS' screen. No doubt she'll be watching. It'll be a good show." Mickey smiles and nods in agreement. He leads the girls off back to TARDIS. Rose is slightly reluctant but Mickey and Sarah-Jane are eager to get back to TARDIS and watch the Captain on the view screen.

"You look good." The Doctor blurts out after several seconds of uncomfortable silence between them. Jack smiles, blushes slightly but says nothing. He starts to stand up but the Doctor's voice stops him. "Where are you going?" he asks before realising the words are out of his mouth. He curses himself for sounded so needy, so possessive and desperate. It's true of course, he just wishes he didn't make it so obvious. Jack still doesn't realise though.

"I'm off to tell Miss Allen I'll take the job." Jack chuckles softly, buzzing already and thrilled at just the thought of it. The Doctor just about manages to restrain himself from following Jack and settles for giving him forlorn glances and Mary-Sue murderous glares. He can't hear their conversation but he can see them flirting and he can feel his blood boil.

He sees the conversation flowing easily between the pair. He hears her laughing at his jokes, leaning into him as she laughs. He sees Jack, flashing her the thousand-watt smile, but it's more sincere and intimate. The Doctor would give anything to have that smile directed at him. He watches, vaguely wondering if he was this masochistic before Jack entered his life, as both of them keep placing their hands on each other. The Doctor sees them touching, laughing, flirting… but he can't look away.

"Thanks for giving me the job Miss Allen. I hope I do you proud."

"I've every confidence in you, even if you haven't." Just as he's about to turn around she adds, "and by the way, It's Mrs. Allen." She smirks and Jack laughs. He's just been played, he takes his top hat off to her. He's more determined than ever to not let her down.

He doesn't let her down, of course. He captivated the audience the minute he stepped walked in the room. Having him get up on stage, open his mouth and sing is just an added bonus. A very big, very entertaining, very beautiful bonus.

He's nervous at first but those nerves soon turn to energy and emotion. Thankfully, the backing orchestra know all the songs he wants to sing because he's not sure he could do this solo. His first song is, 'Anything Goes,' a motto Jack likes to pretend he lives his life by. It's very entertaining, a good song to start off with because after a few lines the audience is laughing at every gag. Jack feeds off the audience's energy and as he grows more confident the audience becomes warmer. It's a cycle and by the time the song has finished, every single person in that club is on their feet giving Jack a very enthusiastic applause.

It gives Jack the confidence to interact with the audience. He never knew he was a stand-up comedian or, more precisely, a sit-down comedian. He has style. He creates a natural bond with the audience, a rapport. Of course, he puts it down to the audience, the orchestra and Cole Porter's lyrics. Anything but him. He's still enjoying himself enormously though and he's so glad he'd managed to get himself talked into going on.

He croons his way through various songs whilst entertaining the audience in a variety of ways as filler in between whilst the orchestra gets ready. He's an all-round entertainer, he makes it look so easy. His voice is so smooth and flawless it's enough to make everybody, despite their gender, fall in love with him just a little. And it's enough to make Jack hate himself just a little less.

He sings various hits such as: 'Easy to Love', 'Fools Rush In', 'Far Away Places', 'Stardust,' 'Through a Long and Sleepless Night,' 'Stormy Weather,' 'Embraceable You,' 'Imagination,' 'Making Whoopee', 'Night and Day,' 'You've Got to Be Carefully Taught' and 'My Defences are Down,' Each song Jack sings gives a different perspective on both the song and the singer. The Doctor feels closer to Jack now than he's ever been.

Jack finishes his act with 'One For My Baby' and is astonished by the audience's reaction: they don't want him to leave and when the next act sets up the audience boos them off the stage, but Jack comes to the rescue. He takes centre stage, addressing the audience and appealing to them. He does sing one more song though, as a thank you. 'Ev'rytime We Say Goodbye' and the audience understands. They get that you can only keep something so beautiful for a short time, you can't be selfish. It's a lesson the Doctor's still fighting against.

The Doctor glares as the first person Jack talks to when he gets offstage for the second time isn't him as he's like. It's Mary-Sue! "They enjoyed it, Mrs. Allen. They actually enjoyed it!" The pride on his face is absolutely adorable and she can't help but laugh even though she's secretly cursing the fact she's not single.

"I think that's down to you…" She realises she doesn't know what to call him. "Hey, do you have a name?" her question catches Jack off guard. "What's your name?" Jack thinks about it, not willing to lie to her.

"It's not important." He tells her.

"Hmm. The mysterious man with a great voice and even better looks? It's kind of catchy. Suits you perfectly." She knows she's flirting but she can't blame herself. She knows her husband would do the same so she doesn't feel the slightest bit guilty. Well, perhaps a tad, but that just makes it more exciting.

"A mysterious man with a great voice and even better looks?" Jack repeats, laughing. "Is that really how you see me?"

"That's what most people in this place see, but they're shallow. They don't know you as well as they'd like to…" She drawls.

"Baby, I'm a shallow kind of guy." In the corner of his eye he catches a glimpse of the Doctor. He's gone deathly white, a look of horror fixed upon his features. Wordlessly apologising to Mary-Sue Allen, Jack makes his way over to the Doctor. "My God, what's wrong?" Jack knows it's bad and he's fighting back tears of concern before he even knows what the matter is.

"It's the Hakturie. They've got the girls." The Doctor's response is one filled with shock. Jack's is one of anger, directed at himself.

"God, I'm so stupid! I never should have let myself be tempted on stage! I should have been protecting them but I was busy singing whilst they were… What about Mickey?" It occurs to Jack that he doesn't know about his best friend.

"It isn't your fault." The Doctor states sincerely but Jack is too angry and frantic to even hear him. He wouldn't believe him though, even if he had heard. Jack forces himself to focus. "I don't know about Mickey." The Doctor continues. "TARDIS only saw Rose and Sarah-Jane kidnapped, right in front of her."

"But they should have reached the TARDIS over an hour ago." Jack says, confused but the Doctor already knows. It pains him deeply to think that TARDIS knew all along but she didn't tell him because he was too busy and too happy, lost in Jack's performance.

"We need to go. We need to save them!" Jack doesn't understand why the Doctor isn't moving.

"There's more." Jack sits down, the tone of the Doctor's voice indicating he'll need to. "The Hakturie recognised TARDIS. They know who I am and whilst TARDIS couldn't stop them, she was able to read their thoughts and find out their game plan." The Doctor is silent for a few moments, trying to comprehend their tactics himself. "They've got Rose and Sarah-Jane and they're going to kill them at midnight. And at midnight they're also planning a massacre in here."

"That's no problem." Jack announces. "There's two of us. You can rescue Rose and Sarah-Jay and find Mickey. I'll make sure this place is safe." Jack doesn't understand why the Doctor is shaking his head.

"They'll overpower you. Jack, I can't let you do this on your own!" The Doctor insists but Jack won't listen.

"I'll get Mary-Sue to empty the place. I think she'll do it, no questions asked. You've got to save Rose and Sarah-Jay! There's no time to argue. Doctor, you've got no choice. I won't let innocent people die." And that scares the Doctor because he knows Jack doesn't think of himself as innocent, quite the opposite. "You said it yourself, Doctor. I took Sarah-Jay into space. She is MY responsibility. I couldn't live with her death, her murder, on my conscience!" Jack's plea is heartbreaking and although the Doctor really doesn't want to leave Jack, tearfully he does.

Jack springs into action, immediately asking Mary-Sue to clear the place out, telling her everybody could be in danger. She sees the seriousness, the concern and the fear in his beautiful blue eyes and complies with his request, not questioning him once. She even offers to stay with him but he declines, telling her he'll fight better if he's not worrying about her safety. She smiles softly, and leaves.

It's five minutes to midnight before Jack is finally alone. Five minutes to midnight when he curses himself because he realises he's left his bag of weapons on TARDIS. He curses himself for any reason he can find: not coming out alone, for getting on stage, forgetting the weapons…

"Aw, you're no fun!" a brown, sleazy character with the complexion and skin texture of mud interrupts Jack's self-loathing session. The leader isn't alone, a whole army behind him. "Since there's nobody else in here to kill, you better make this worth our while. I bet your carcass will taste nice, boy." The leader takes a step towards Jack. "But I think we better tenderise the meat first." The leader takes another step forward, intending to be intimidating. Jack doesn't even flinch. Instead, he slyly attaches a phyton bomb, the size of a coin, into the oozing flesh of the alien leader who doesn't even notice. "You better put up a good fight, boy."

"He won't." Jack recognises the voice even though he can't see the person. He refuses to believe his ears. "But I will." There is the sound of a laser shot. The leader of the Hakturie drops down, dead, to reveal the Doctor standing behind him, laser gun in his hands.

"What are you doing here?" Jack screams.

"I'm saving your life. You left these behind." The Doctor tosses Jack a bagful of assorted weapons. They talk as they fight, outnumbered by about 100 Hakturie to just the two of them.

"What about Rose and Sarah-Jay!" Jack's back is against the Doctor, they're using each other as a shield whilst firing their weapons. The bodies begin to quickly pile up.

"I ran into Mickey. Gave him my sonic screwdriver. He'll be fine." The Doctor dismisses. "99 of the Hakturie are here and you were unarmed."

"I wouldn't say that." Jack tells him. "I've just planted a bomb on the leader. We've got about 5 minutes before this whole place blows up. I feel sorry for Mary-Sue but she's got her husband's money, she'll get over it. I can't shut it off, I forgot the remote. I left it behind."

"You mean this one?" The Doctor pulls out the remote out of his coat pocket and with a push of the button he disarms the bomb. "You were willing to blow yourself up. I think I prefer to do this my way as opposed to yours." The Doctor shoots a Hakturie who gets too close to Jack before turning back to defend his own space.

"But you don't fight…"

"I don't fight unless I have to." The Doctor insists. He glances at Jack, who has a cut on his cheek and is bleeding badly but Jack hasn't even noticed. "I have to do this. I have to."

"Thanks." Jack says sheepishly. "For saving my life."

"I didn't have a choice. I couldn't let you die." The Doctor counters.

"Thanks anyway." And Jack finds life is worth living again, especially with the Doctor by his side. He doesn't deserve it, he's painfully aware of it but all he can focus on is how good this feels. But then he sees the blood on his hand and hates himself for how good this feels.

The fight eventually slows to a halt. No more Hakturie to kill and Jack's buzz begins to wear off. They're no threat now, just brown broken bodies bleeding blue blood. Guilt grips Jack as he's splattered with the blue blood, unaware of his own red blood pouring out from several slits in his skin: one on his cheek, another on his arm, one on his torso and another on his shin. His outfit is ripped to shred and so is his conscience.

He's also worried senseless about the others. Paranoid he hasn't taught Mickey well enough. Convinced he's failed them all. Still hating himself for not reuniting Sarah-Jay with K9. Then his mobile phone rings, cutting off his thoughts. It's Sarah-Jane calling.

"Sarah-Jay? My God! Are you alright? How are you? How's Rose? How's Mickey? I was so scared for you! Please tell me you're all okay?" Jack begs.

"We're fine, Jack. We're all fine." Sarah-Jane reassures him. "Hang on a second, Mickey wants to speak to you." She passes the phone to Mickey who has frantically been trying to snatch it off her all the time whilst she was speaking to Jack.

"Jack you should have seen me! I was fantastic! It was like something out of a James Bond movie. I got the girls, killed the bad guys and saved the world! I'm so cool!" Mickey enthuses.

"You did good Mickey." From Jack's tone he can tell that although Jack is proud of him, he's still beating himself up for putting them all in that situation. Mickey doesn't know what to say to make him feel better. "How is Rose doing?" Jack's concern and guilt mingle as one.

"She's a bit shaken up." Mickey admits. "She's in her room. She won't let me in. Physically, she's fine. I just think she's a bit disappointed that it were me who came to her rescue and not the Doctor." Mickey immediately regrets the words because he knows Jack will blame himself for that too.

"I'll talk to her. I'll apologise."

"Jack, it's not your fault." Mickey insists.

"I'll talk to her." Jack cuts off the call, already on his way to TARDIS. The Doctor stays in the bloody battlefield of the bar.

* * *

"Hey Doc." Mickey pokes his head around the door to see the Doctor is sitting at the bar with only about a hundred Hakturie corpses for company. The floor is awash with blue blood. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine." The Doctor's tone is so flat, it's obvious he's not. Mickey almost trips over the bodies in an attempt to get to the bar, to sit next to the Doctor. "Sonic screwdriver. Setting 76. Disintegrates dead bodies." Mickey nods and sets about it. Obviously the Doctor's not in a talkative mood and that's very rare. Mickey knows something's wrong.

"Jack's talking to Rose." Mickey informs. "She wouldn't open her door for me but she did for him." He tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"She hates me, doesn't she?" the Doctor asks and Mickey doesn't know how to answer that. He thinks about it carefully whilst still busy with the sonic screwdriver, eliminating the corpses one by one.

"You made the right decision."

"She thinks I chose Jack over her." Then the Doctor faces Mickey for the first time since Mickey entered. "What if she's right?"

"She's a hypocrite!" Mickey's harsh reply shock the Doctor but Mickey's had enough of Rose blowing hot and cold on him. "She chose him over me. She chose you over me. She chose travelling over her family. She chose life in TARDIS over everything. If she hates you 'cos you're in love with him, that's just childish. You can't choose who you fall in love with. I don't think she's ever been in love with anyone before. That's why she don't understand."

"I'm sorry." Is all the Doctor can say in reply.

"You know she thinks she's in love with you, don't you?" Mickey asks, knowing he should stop because the Doctor is hurting: physically, emotionally and mentally.

"I'm so sorry." The Doctor turns back to the bar to avoid Mickey's gaze.

"She isn't. She's just in love with your lifestyle. But your lifestyle has changed since you met Jack. Less time for the Universe and more time for people, if that makes sense." The Doctor understands. "That's a good thing. She hates me 'cos I remind her of her old life, before she met you. She can't bring herself to hate Jack, but I knows she preferred it when it were just the two of you. But you can't force yourself to not love someone, God knows I still love Rose. But she's just a bit frustrated, in her eyes you offered her the universe but then you met Jack and turned soft." The Doctor wants to protest but perhaps there's an element of truth in it. "But if you ask me, despite how much pain it causes you, love can only ever be a good thing."

"Try telling that to Jack!" The Doctor scoffs. "He wanted me to leave him for dead! He must hate me."

"He doesn't hate you. Jack could never hate you. He might hate himself."

"That's worse!"

"I know." Mickey admits, clearing his throat and changing the subject. "Can't you adjust the screwdriver so it can get rid of more bodies at once. It'll take forever this way." The Doctor get up off his chair and to his feet. He takes the screwdriver off of Mickey and adjusts it easily. With a few clicks, the place is corpse-free. He then adapts the sonic screwdriver to emit a vacuum-hygenia wave to clean up all the blue blood. The club looks like a club again and you'd have never guessed it was the host to an alien massacre. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine" the Doctor repeats, obviously still not.

"I don't hate you." Mickey attempts to cheer him up. "Well, actually I kind of used to but every since you met Jack and turned soft I think you're much less of a jerk." The Doctor doesn't even stir. "Sarah-Jane doesn't hate you. In fact, she told Jack she found your regeneration much more attractive than the last one she was with." Mickey's surprised he got through all of that with a straight face.

"Mickey! That's a bit inappropriate, don't you think?" The Doctor tries to act shocked whilst poorly hiding a smug grin.

"Made you smile though." Mickey tells him.

"Yeah. You did." The Doctor becomes lost in thought again. Eventually he gives in and asks Mickey the thoughts that have been plaguing him all this time. "Do you'll think we'll ever be able to get Jack to sing again? Do you think we could persuade him?" Mickey laughs because this is what the Doctor's brooding has really been about, none of the profound stuff they were talking about before.

"We better get him to sing!" Mickey hollers. "Sarah-Jay was busy getting kidnapped. I was busy rescuing her and Rose. We never got to see him perform and that's not fair! I'm sure we can pester him until he gives in." He laughs. "Just call me Mickey Machiavellian. Or maybe not, it's a bit of a tongue-twister"

"It's for his own good." The Doctor smirks, considerably more bright than before. "We'll force him to sing. Plead and beg and whine until he submits. It's the quickest way to cheer us all up. Him included." The Doctor is positively beaming now. "Come on, Mickey. Let's get back to TARDIS. I've got a craving for some coffee. And Jack makes the best coffee in the Universe." The Doctor is grinning manically but that's fine by Mickey. Life will continue as normal in TARDIS. Well, at least until the next drama occurs.

End of Chapter 9


	11. Chapter 10

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 10. The Search For K-9 Continues

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: Jack searches for K9 whilst the others have 1930s murder mystery party.

Rating: PG-13. Quite violent and I'm sorry because Jack's on the receiving end (again!)

Word Count: Just over 8 thousand words!

Warning: violence and unbelievable coincidences.

Disclaimer: sigh I have no claim to pretty much anything, least of all Doctor Who. sigh

AN: This is my first attempt at two stories in the same chapter. Humour contrasting the angst. I'd appreciate if you tell me how the mix turned out.

On a Personal Note: I get my A2 results tomorrow. 17.08.06. It's a crazy time for me. This fic was supposed to be over by now. It started out as an idea, but as I put pen to paper (I should just put fingers to keyboard, it's quicker that way) it just grew. I've still got several chapters and an epilogue to write. The point is, it's going to be hectic so please bear with me as I might not be able to post as often as I'd like. I'm seriously begging for your support here. I will finish the series because my mind won't relax until I have. I'm also close to losing my mind with pure terror so I'd appreciate feedback to keep me sane!

AAN: the last chapter I posted ended up being in a terrible format (It seems I can't learn from past mistakes). I've posted it again in a more legible format here

**10. The Search for K9 Continues**

The Doctor reads something on TARDIS' control panel that affects him deeply. He tries his best to ignore it, to forget he ever saw it. He should tell Jack. Jack would want to know. But the Doctor can't bring himself to. So he just tries to carry on as normal, ignoring the guilt because it's really not that big of a deal. It's not as though he's even lying, he's just not alerting Jack to the truth. The Doctor should have known better as Mickey strolls in and foils his plan in mere minutes.

"Er, Jack?" Mickey speaks into the comm. He knows Jack is still awake and probably in the library. "There's some readings here I think you should have a look at."

"Okay. I'll be there in five minutes." And that's all it takes for Jack to drop everything he's doing and come to the TARDIS control room. Jack switches off the comm. link, already on his way. Mickey switches it off too before turning to the Doctor curiously.

"Doctor, did you recognise these readings? Did you know what they could mean?" To be honest, the Doctor preferred Mickey the Idiot. Now Mickey can see straight through him.

"I didn't know you could." The Doctor pathetically attempts to side step the question.

"Jack taught me." Mickey explains and the Doctor should have guessed. Not that he's bitter about it, of course not! It's not funny: he can't even fool himself so he's got no chance of fooling Mickey. "And you never answered my question."

"I…" There's no point in lying. "Yeah, I understand the possibilities. But it's a long shot!" The Doctor protests. "There could be any number of reasons for the readings and…"

"I don't want him to leave either." Mickey gives a small, sad, sympathetic smile. "But he has a right to know. And knowing him, I think he'd figure it out eventually. And I don't think lying to him will score you any points. Unlike me, he wouldn't understand why you lied. And for an ex-conman Jack is surprisingly appreciative of honesty. Tell him the truth, and trust him to do the right thing."

"I wouldn't trust me to do the right thing." Jack arrives, always making a big entrance no matter how small he tries to be. "But I do admire honesty. Understand why you wouldn't want to give it to me though."

"TARDIS picked up a faint warp signal, same as the merchant ship. The trail also shows signs of having a hyper energy refining drive, like the one stolen off your ship." The Doctor informs Jack, not missing a beat, trying to prove to Jack that he does trust him. "Do you want to follow the trail?" The Doctor is asking Jack, throwing the other man completely off his guard.

"May… maybe I could … take my own ship." Jack flinches as he anticipates the severe responses he'll get from Mickey and the Doctor but he has to do this.

"No way. You know what happened last time…"

"That's exactly why I've got to do this on my own!"

"Could you even catch up with merchants in your ship?" Mickey asks.

"She's fast enough." Jack defends, even though he hasn't taken her for a test drive since she was gutted. But hypothetically, she should be. "And besides, if I our suspicions are correct and I manage to rescue K-9 I can use him to help fix the warp drive and I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I used him as a power conductor. He gets the energy he needs and I get a safe and reliable turbo for my engines."

"I don't get why you're making such a big deal about K-9! It's not as if I couldn't replace him, I've done it before. I replaced him with a better model." And Jack hates to judge the Doctor but he can't believe how dispassionate the Doctor can be about certain things. However, Jack does tries to be the same and it would make thing a whole lot easier if he was. It would make it a lot easier to leave.

"Sarah-Jane spent months with this K-9. They'd formed a bond. And I screwed that up. It's my mistake, mine alone, so it's up to me and me alone to fix it." Jack insists but Mickey sees straight through it, straight to the painful truth.

"Are you sure this isn't another one of your suicide missions?" Mickey asks, making Jack wince and look down at the floor. There's an element of truth in it. There used to be more than that but now it's just a ghost of the past. "Will you be coming back?"

"I…" Jack wants to say 'no', dismissing the notion straight off but he can't bring himself to do it. "I don't know." He can't look either of them in the eyes. He's hoping the distance will do him good. Make it easier for him to leave. Stay away forever. But he's not quite there yet. "If I find K-9, I'll deliver him back here personally."

"And what if you can't find him?" Mickey's tone is slightly confrontational, serious and concerned. "What if you can't save him? What if they've sold him? What if they've stripped him down and flogged the parts? What if they've abandoned him? What if they've killed him? How far are you willing to go, Jack?" It's a rhetorical question as they all know the answer. Jack plans on doing whatever it takes. Going as far as he can and then going just that little bit further.

"It isn't worth it." Mickey tells him plainly. The Doctor watches with wary eyes, not willing to interrupt because Mickey seems to be getting through where the Doctor has failed. "I know you. If you don't find K-9 you'll beat yourself up about it. You won't stop until you've got him but it's not worth it. I'd be proper gutted if you got yourself killed." Jack can't help a small smile as Mickey sulks.

"You'd be 'proper gutted'?" Jack quotes, laughing gently. "If I do get back, remind me to give you some English lessons."

"American English?" Mickey teases.

"Ach no. I can teach ye some Scottish if ye want. Or some English literature. Educate you in the language of Oscar Wilde. Shakespeare is a speciality of mine. I could teach you some Coleridge too; I actually went AWOL from the Agency to see a Restoration play from the era. It was worth it though." Jack smiles, his smile faltering as he remembers the severity of his punishment. "I've know a bit about Middle English as well, actually met Chaucer. That was fun. No where near as good looking as Paul Bettany though." The Doctor has a blank, perplexed look on his face. Mickey laughs as he gets the movie related joke.

"Middle English? That's cool!"

"I think so, Mickey. Used to get teased proper bad for thinking so. Perhaps they were right. I think I may need some English lessons from you about 21st Century slang. For a man from the 51st Century my language appears to me somewhat in the past, somewhat dated." Jack jokes, speaking in an old-fashioned clipped English accent.

"IF you come back." Mickey stresses the 'if'.

"If I come back." Jack says firmly, refusing to make any promises no matter how much he wants to.

"Well I guess that's cheerio and ta ta, old boy. Jolly good luck to you and I wish you all the best." Mickey adopts a 1940's war officer's tone to lighten the mood. The subject matter is still serious though. "Come back soon Captain. Come back in one piece." Mickey gives Jack a salute, which Jack returns before heading off.

"Wait! You're not leaving now, are you?" The Doctor hates how desperate he sounds, how desperate he IS to make Jack stay, to not let him go.

"It's best I follow the trail whilst it's hot." Jack states in way of explanation, eager to get going.

"Wh… what will I say to Rose? To Sarah?" The Doctor asks, even though it's not really about them at all.

"They'll understand. I hope you do too." and with that Jack leaves. Leaves the others behind. The Doctor is still reeling, and when Mickey offers to make him a cup of tea the Doctor requests coffee instead.

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"Okay, we're closing in on them. Just a few more miles and we'll be able to get a visual." Jack is perfectly aware he's talking to his ship but he's done it all his life, ever since he was five. His mom thought it was cute, his brother said it was just insane but that's brothers for you. Even Jack used to tease Maria when she used to speak to his ship but she always got him back for it. That's just the way things work.

Sarah-Jane's knows he talks to his ship. She caught him early on, just after he'd taken her and K-9 onboard, and when he blushed she just smiled and told him it was endearing. He never worried about being caught after that and continued to talk to his ship as normal. It was normal, Jack justified. If people talk to their plants there's no reason Jack shouldn't talk to his ship.

Mickey spent a lot of time with Jack repairing the ship so that's how Mickey found out. He teases him but there's no hostility behind it. It's like the way Jack used to tease Maria, the beaten way of friendship. It's actually quite comfortable, but Jack can't allow himself to become too comfortable.

Jack doesn't know how or when Rose found out but she does, she used it as an insult against him as Jack tried to referee and argument between her and Mickey, very recently in fact. It wasn't much of an insult but it hurt just because Rose was trying to hurt him. She was just lashing out and Jack got in the way. It hurts him Rose is unhappy.

Focussing on the job in hand Jack puts all other thoughts out of his head as he puts the pedal to the metal and really closes the distance between him and the merchant ship. He interprets the bleeps his instruments make and realises he's virtually chasing his own ship, almost all the stolen parts attached to one of his own stolen shuttlecraft. Jack shakes his head. "That's just cheeky."

He trails the shuttlecraft for several minutes and watches as it docks in an enormous space station. 2 times the size of Earth. Obviously the base for fleets of merchant ships, thousands of ships already docked and several thousands away. Scamming, stealing and killing. Jack wishes he could slip past the shields, plant a bomb and blow up the station so nobody else has to worry about the pirates. But Jack can't kill people he doesn't know. Unless it's an order.

On his view screen Jack sees a shuttle pod fleeing the station, whoever's at the helm is a good driver. The shuttle isn't all that fast but it's manoeuvrable, and that's very handy since every single ship docked in the space station is after that shuttle. Jack tries to tap into the comm. frequency of the pirates but it's too advanced and Jack has always had a problem with numbers. He recognises the shuttle pod though: a Mesturna class 6, not the best model of it's kind but the most popular. It's probably stolen.

Jack knows from scans he took of the space station that there were over 5 thousand aliens, now all after that Mesturna. He does a quick scan of the Mesturna to find there's only one person onboard. That hardly seems fair. Jack doesn't like those odds one bit.

Hundreds of various stolen ships, with stolen arsenal throwing everything they have at the Mesturna shuttle pod, determined to destroy it. They'd rather kill their ex-partner than let him go. Jack has had experience with such clans before. Once you're in, you are never allowed out. Jack knows that the alien in the Mesturna class 6 ship might be a traitor to the clan, but Jack can't bring himself to believe it. The Mesturna shuttle pod hasn't had that many adaptations to it. Jack doesn't believe the person stole anything from the fleet, except from the shuttle pod of course. Jack can't help but sympathise.

Just as a sonicumelectro pulse threatens to blow up the shuttle, Jack feels a wave of guilt as that used to be the weapon on his ship, he uses the matter transporter to absorb the life sign just before the Mesturna shuttle pod explodes. An explosion in zero gravity in is a really spectacular sight. A fire rages through the ship, tearing it apart from the inside but as the ship fractures on the outside the fires are stilted by the lack of oxygen. There's no sound. Even if people are in there you can't hear them dying. It's actually kind of peaceful, kind of beautiful. Jack has always been one to see an awe-full truth in pain and death and destruction, and it scares him. He's mesmerised by the sight before him and it isn't until he's fired upon and almost destroyed that he's able to come out of his trance and fly the ship with skill until he finally thinks he's safe.

Jack isn't even aware of the deep gash on his forehead, which he gained during the assault after hitting it against the console. Jack should really invest in some seatbelts but they're not his number one priority and he hasn't even noticed the blood leaking from the wound. He's also oblivious the bruises on his chest, which he got from the impact too.

His attention now turns to the matter pattern in his databanks. It indicates the species as Paffandian, and Jack has to repress a shudder as he recalls that is was a Paffandian who attacked him whilst the other pirates stripped his ship. Jack momentarily considers deleting the pattern before shaking his head, disgusted with himself. He uses the matter reintegrater to transfer the alien to the medical room, making sure he has a force field surrounding the room.

Just one look and Jack realises it is the very same Paffandian who attacked him before. Oh, the irony! Oh, the odds! But Jack doesn't question it. He doesn't judge the unconscious alien and regrets he doesn't know even about Paffandian physiology to help heal him. He doesn't appear to be injured though so Jack waits for the alien to wake up naturally. In the mean time, instead of attending to his own wounds, he repairs the damage the pirates have done to his ship.

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"Doctor, what are you doing?" Mickey pokes his head around the library door. "I've warned you about this before. It's not good for you."

"Go away!" Is the Doctor's childish and sulky reply.

"What am I going to do with you, eh?" Mickey's tone is soft and fond. The Doctor almost doesn't recognise it for a moment.

"Nothing. Leave me alone!" You can almost hear the pout but Mickey pays no attention and strolls straight in.

"Drinking Jack's favourite coffee and listening to this type of music is not going to help. You're such an Emo!" Mickey smirks. The Doctor is listening to Michael Ball (one of Jack's favourite singers) doing a cover of Phil Collins' 'Against All Odds.' He's got the song on repeat. It really sums up how he's feeling. "Is that Mr. Snuggles you're holding!" Mickey's eyes widen.

"So what if it is?" The Doctor pulls the teddy bear closer, defensively. The music skips a few tracks to Michael Ball's cover of the ABBA original 'The Winner Takes It All.'

"I've even told Jack off for listening to this kind of music." Mickey scolds the Doctor. "I made him switch from ABBA to Greenday. From depression to aggression."

"Greenday is not aggressive." The Doctor just has to blurt out. "Not compared to other bands." The Doctor cringes as he tries to prevent any heavy punk songs from becoming stuck in his mind.

"I know. But it's aggressive enough for Jack. He likes them but he prefers easy listening. Music you can relax to. And besides, he gets migraines. He thinks I don't know but I do. It actually helps him if he sings or listens to some soft music, lets him concentrate on something else so it don't hurt as much. But Rose tends to drag him off to those raves she has. He's the only one who'll go but it proper does his head in. He'll do ought to make Rose happy. She don't even know." Mickey realises he's drifted off the point. "You should never listen to Emo music when you're in a mood!"

"I am not in a mood!" the Doctor settles Mr. Snuggles on his lap so he can drink his coffee with both hands. Mickey shakes his head before turning off the music. "Oi! I was listening to that."

"You weren't listening to it. You were moping to it."

"I was not moping, Mickey. I do not mope."

"Fine." Mickey lets the Doctor think he's won before he continues. "Angsting, sulking, brooding, fretting. Whatever you want to call it." The Doctor narrowly resists the urge to stick out his tongue.

"So what if I am?" He can't believe he's actually admitted it. But at least acting more like a 6 year old and less like 900 year old kind of distracts him from the pain he's feeling. Although, not really. Barely, in fact. Actually, not at all and it's even worse now because he's managed to get Mickey angry.

"You don't have sole sulkage rights here, y'know! He's my best friend! And I've just had a MASSIVE row with Rose. I usually turn to him to fix things, and cheer me up. He cheers Rose up too, which is something I can't seem to do anymore. But now he's gone, and Rose still hates me, and I feel like… crap. I could easy wallow in self-pity but nope, not me. I've organised some stupid 1930's murder mystery party. That's why I came round in the first place, to see if you want a part in it. Well, do you?" Mickey's voice is so full of heat and anger, even to the last word, even to the invitation. The Doctor fails in suppressing his laughter and Mickey's fury soon dissolves. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head but he can't quite deny the smile, which has forced its way onto his lips.

"A 1930's murder mystery?" The Doctor eventually manages to ask in between several sniggers. Mickey ignores the laughter.

"Yeah. It's probably full of anachronisms, though. Jack had started to reprogram the hyperholographical people from the dance club. But with the skills he taught me, I've been slaving away and it's a bit dodgy but I have managed to finish it." Mickey beams with pride.

"Jack." The Doctor repeats; the name stuck in his head. Mickey's right, this isn't helping him. "You've learned a lot from him, haven't you? It's not like you to use a word like 'anachronism'. And he taught you how to adapt hyperholographical programmes? You're becoming a right teacher's pet, aren't you?"

"You're just jealous." Mickey bites back.

"No I'm not!" Is the Doctor's automatic reply but when he thinks about it, he's not too sure. "Am I?" Mickey just glares at him. The Doctor is jealous of anybody Jack even talks to. Mickey smirks as he realises that, under that criterion, the Doctor is jealous of Jack's ship. The sad thing is, the Doctor actually is though.

"Do you want to be part of the murder mystery party or not? I could have your character replaced by a hyperholographical being if you want. Jack wrote a script for you, the real you, as a dashing prince but then he threw it away as he thought you wouldn't want to play."

"He's right." The Doctor finishes off his coffee and wraps himself tightly around Mr. Snuggles. The teddy bear still has Jack's faint scent on it.

"Well now you're stuck with the character I wrote for you." Mickey laughs under his breath before changing the subject. "Jack created the programme for Sarah-Jay. To give her a chance to use her investigative skills. He feels they've been going to waste lately and that he's been neglecting her. Or, at least that's his excuse. I think he's just been reading too much Agatha Christie." Mickey jokes, even though he's missing Jack too. "It'll be a good distraction." The Doctor thinks about it for several moments.

"Can I bring Mr. Snuggles?" The Doctor clings to Jack's teddy bear.

"You'll have to bring him." Mickey smirks as the Doctor scoops up Mr. Snuggles and waits for Mickey to lead the way. "He's the murder victim."

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"Ah, you're awake!" Jack addresses his blue-skinned guest on the other side of the force field. He's not sure if he's not going to run into some communication barriers as his language decipherer, top of the range, was stolen and he's still to replace it. He wasn't as well prepared as he should have been but then again, Jack never is. He's got a problem thinking about consequences. He's too busy living in the past, surviving in the present, to worry about the future. "Are you alright? I mean, you're not hurt are you? My medical supplies are sadly lacking."

"I'm fine." The alien grunts. His head hurts and he's not in the mood to hear a human rambling on. Jack is happy that TARDIS is still in his head and still translating, and Jack has a habit of rambling on when he's happy.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty? I'm not actually sure what your species consumes but I'm sure I could rustle up something."

"I'm fine." The blue Paffandian growls, before grudgingly admitting, "I could do with a drink of water. Salted."

"Salt water I can do." Jack grins. With just a few taps on the nearest console a jug of saltwater and an empty cup materialises on the table next to the Paffandian, who gulps it down thirstily. "That's good. Thanks."

"It's a pleasure." Jack smiles but then kicks himself because he really shouldn't trust this guy. It's the same alien who almost killed him. He should feel some resentment at least. He should hate him, but he can't. He only hates himself instead.

"What am I doing here?" The blue alien recognises the force field. "Am I a prisoner?"

"No!" Jack blurts out, horrified at the thought. He didn't need to let the alien know that though. "I'm just being cautious. Your spikes look kind of dangerous." Jack has first-hand experience of how dangerous those spikes can be. He's determined to keep the force field up, even though he's already feeling a bond with the alien.

"Wait! I remember you!" The alien recalls. "You're the guy who bested me. You beat me up trying to get that robot dog thing."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that but you did stab me and poison me and break my bones and leave me for dead."

"Yeah." The Paffandian admits, not looking Jack in the eyes until he asks "Truce?"

"Truce." Without thinking, Jack lowers the force field to shake hands with the man who almost killed him.

"You're so easy!" The alien laughs, but there's no malice behind it.

"That's always been one of my faults." Jack concedes.

"No, it's nice to meet someone so trusting. It's not a bad character flaw. It's not you who's screwed up, it's the rest of the Universe." Who knew you could catch 'rambling on' from humans? Jack just kind of has a way of inspiring passion in people. "It's hard to find such a good guy in such a cruel universe, in such a corrupt one. For the obvious reason, I guess. I'm surprised you're still alive." The Paffandian offers a guilt-ridden smile in the way of an apology. "And not just because I left you for dead."

"I'm not a good guy." Jack insists. "I've done bad things. I've lied. I've cheated. I've stolen. I've conned. I've killed." Jack admits, breaking out in a cold sweat. The prickly fingers of guilt are all over his body, with a particular grip on his heart.

"You may have done bad things but you're still a good person." The Paffandian stresses but Jack can't comprehend that. He doesn't understand it and he refuses to accept it. Well, Jack refuses to accept that about himself, not about others. "My name's Fralisamunido, by the way."

"Oh." Jack pauses. "can I call you Sam?"

"You just saved my life, you can call me anything you like!" Sam remembers the events clearer now. "What should I call you?"

"I don't know." Jack realises. "No. Actually, I do. I chose the name Jack for a very good reason. It isn't mine but it means a lot to me. Same with Harkness. So I tell most people to call me Jack Harkness. Or Captain. It's just a title though, no real authority behind it but it has sentimental value." Sam realises this human tends to babble on a lot. Only, somehow, it isn't as irritating now. It's actually quite amusing.

"It's good to meet you Captain Jack Harkness."

"You too, Sam." Jack's grin falters as his ship is hit again and he's sent flying to the ground, bashing his chest and stomach into a table on the way down though. Sam helps him up. Jack thanks him before running off to the cockpit, gesturing for Sam to follow. As soon as he arrives, Jack checks the view-screen. "You must have really pissed off your old friends."

"I'm sorry. I don't want them to destroy your ship. We've already done enough damage to it. It's me they want. You should just give me to them. Save yourself." Sam offers.

"You've developed a conscience." Jack acknowledges. "That's why they want you dead. They won't let you leave. They don't trust you not to sell them out, because that's exactly what they'd do. But you won't because they used to be your friends, you know them, you still care for them. Your conscience is what sets you apart from them but they don't know how that works. That's why they want to kill you. And that's why you're so eager to let them."

"You sound like you've lived it yourself." Sam notes.

"I used to work for the Time Agency." Jack doesn't elaborate, trying to forget. Or remember. He's not sure which. "I won't let them kill you." Sam knows Jack is making a promise that is out of his depth. He also sees how much it would hurt him if he couldn't keep it, but Sam can't bring himself to refute the pledge.

"You're a good man, Jack."

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"You're supposed to mingle, find out more about the guests at the party, create your own thoughts about who would want to kill Mr. Snuggles." The Doctor wants to protest but no words come out as he's astounded by the details of the holographic set. "But to save time, I'll give you the run-down on the characters instead." The Doctor closes his mouth and nods silently.

"Okay, first we'll start downstairs. Yeah, I know. Very 1930's. Downstairs Upstairs. What can I say? Jack's a geek!" Mickey shrugs and the Doctor opens his mouth to speak but then Mickey flicks a switch and the room changes from upstairs to downstairs. Geez, Jack's a real whiz when it comes to hyperholographical programmes. "We'll start with the maids:

"Alice is the youngest one, brunette and pretty. She's very timid. She's the last person you'd suspect of murder so, of course, that makes me very suspicious of her.

"Beatrice is the mousy one. Five foot tall. Very eager and sweet. Shy too but also very clumsy. She's already cost Mr. Snuggles £1 in damage this week and he's threatening to dismiss her. I think Jack's sister was the inspiration for this one

"Maggie is the oldest of the female servants, in her late forties. She's very protective of the other girls and although she can appear very cold and severe, she's actually very gentle and caring once you're on her good side. Imagine her being played by Maggie Smith when she was that age, you'll get the idea." The Doctor didn't.

"Helen is the blond one, blue eyed, six foot. If she wasn't a maid she could be an actress. She's gorgeous and she knows it. She's very flirty but she goes no further. She's the character Rose and I argued about. Jack has adapted the hyperholograms so they're solid to the touch but that don't mean I ever touched her! If I wanted to I could've but Rose don't see it like that." Mickey sulks and sighs before continuing. "Anyway, those are the downstairs women. Now on to the manservants.

"Charles is the eldest, the grey-haired gentleman. The perfect Jeeves. In fact, I think Jack modelled him on Martin Jarvis. You know, the musical?" The Doctor just stares at Mickey. "Erm, anyway, Charles has been here since forever. He sees and knows everything but he's not the kind of chap to be involved in a scandal himself. Or at least, I don't think.

"Stephen is the younger one, black hair. Kind of looks like a young Stephen Fry. The Cambridge years. But he can't use language as elegantly as Mr. Fry can. A regular Mr. Malapropos, this one is. He tries his hardest to be the perfect Jeeves but he always messes up. He worships Charles and hopes Charles can train him to be as efficient. Stephen's one of Jack's favourite characters.

"Thomas is the middle-aged one. Stubble. A thick Lancashire accent I can barely understand but Jack loves it. I think he stole the accent from Ian McKellan but don't quote me on that." Mickey grins. "Well, that's downstairs. Are you ready to go upstairs now?"

"My head is still reeling, just slightly though. If you wait a few seconds it should stop."

"Upstairs is easier." Mickey informs.

"Why so many characters?"

"I told you. He's been reading too much Agatha Christie. He'd figured out the style. At the most the human brain normally remembers 9 things at a time. According to Jack, Agatha must have used more than 9 characters to send her readers into some kind of trance. To entertain them, to confuse them, keep them reading for hours at a time and never even realise there's an outside world. Jack was just trying to be faithful to the style." There's a long, long silence.

"You're right. Jack is a geek." And for some reason, admitting that makes the Doctor smile. "We'll I suppose we best see 'upstairs'. But we've already seen 7 characters. And although I'm not human, I'm still not sure I can take much more."

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"We can't take much more!" Jack screams through the smoke whilst Sam is busy putting out the fires, which have sprouted up all over the very large vessel. "Shields are down to 15. They're using my own weapons against me! That's the only thing that could've worked, dammit! And I don't have the firepower to defeat them. This ship relies on speed and shields and some very careful driving. I know she's big but she's also very beautiful. That's usually enough but if they don't ease up soon they're going to blow her to smithereens and you along with it." Jack isn't worried about his own safety, only that of his ship and his passenger.

"We're coming up to a planet." Sam interprets the readings of a console right next to where he's poured the sand to stop the fire. "If we land and head out on foot it'll be easier for us to hide. They won't attack your ship if they know I'm not there. The planet's a ghost planet but they won't destroy it without exploring it first. Hopefully they'll be too busy pilfering and it'll give us a chance to come up with an escape plan."

"But we're outnumbered by hundreds, thousands, Sam. I'm not sure I could protect you."

"It's the only way of protecting your ship." Sam insists. "And once we land we can divide and conquer. They hunt in packs of between 4 and 8. I'm sure we could tackle that number. Together." Another shot hits the ship, doing serious damage this time. Sam is injury free thanks to his thick skin but Jack has snapped his right arm on the sharp edge of the console. Thankfully, he's ambidextrous and can use his left had to tap in the controls.

"We're going to have to land." Jack states firmly, gritting his teeth through the pain. "That last shot ripped a hole in the dilithium matrix. We're running out of fuel. We're going to have to crash-land on the planet you mentioned. Sam, tap the co-ordinates into your keypad. And hold on tight. It's going to be a bumpy ride." That's no problem for Sam, but Jack only has one working arm.

As the ship enters the atmosphere of the planet the shields fail completely, causing the shuttle to burn up. The metal is melting on the outside, glowing white with the heat. Jack's legs brush against the metal of his seat-base. The material of his jeans melts into his skin, burns into the flesh of his calves and as he tries to move his legs he leaves layers of skin and fabric behind. It hurts like hell but he can take it. He deserves it.

The ship finally lands, the metal so malleable it folds into the rocky ground. Jack is thrown over his left arm, the one he was clinging to the ship with. He twists his shoulder loose and can feel several ribs break in the impact. He cries out in pain. Using all his strength he finds a syringe and fills it with the strongest liquid painkiller he can find, as best as he can with his shoulder so close to dislocating. He feels as though he's cheating but he knows he can't protect Sam and fight the pirates if he's in too much pain to move. He finds Sam, and they venture off into the rocky planet together.

"We're upstairs. The living room. It's Mr. Snuggles' house. The Bear Estate. Mr. Snuggles is a very wealthy teddy. So money would be the obvious motive for killing him. That means it probably isn't.

"See that humanoid version of a black bear?" It's kind of hard to miss. The Doctor is rather startled by the creature's appearance, and size, and very female accent. It sounds like Helena Bonham Carter. "She's Mr. Snuggle's wife."

"Mr. Snuggles has a wife!" The Doctor can't help but exclaim, his voice outrageously high but he's too shocked to notice.

"Of course. Jack's always wanted to get Mr. Snuggles a mate but he's only now gained enough of an excuse to. Every murder victim has to have a partner, 'cos they stand to inherit the estate. But that's just the excuse. Jack don't want Mr. Snuggles to be lonely." Mickey pauses at that. "He's the kind of man who worries about a stuffed teddy bear. Is he insane?" Mickey's only now beginning to realise how absurd it sounds. When Jack explained it to him it sounded perfectly reasonable.

"No, not insane. Just child-like. But he's not a child. I don't want him to be a child! I want him to be himself!" The Doctor screams.

"Yeah, but to him childhood represents everything he wants to be. Innocent, enthusiastic, imaginative. I kind of think that pretty much is him. He's not a child but I don't think he knows any other way to express it." Mickey lets out a breath, not really understanding how this murder mystery party has turned into Jack!Psyche 101. Mind you, he is talking to the Doctor so he shouldn't be that surprised. "Yeah, so that's Mr. Snuggles apparently loving wife.

"Over there is Flash Dan…"

"Mickey, he's wearing a wrist watch. And he's got a cell phone, I mean a mobile!" Just another example of Jack's effect on him and the TARDIS and TARDIS' crew. Mickey doesn't even blink, cos he's used to it.

"I know but I created him." Mickey shrugs in way of explanation. It's enough for the Doctor. "I know I've kind of ignored the era but I still made him. He a gangster, the head honcho, the main man. I don't see a motive for him killing Mr. Snuggles. He's loyal to his friends." You can tell in more ways than one that Flash Dan is Mickey's creation.

"And you see the bespectacled man over there, that's the character Jack was supposed to play if he was here but he programmed the character just in case he… wasn't. His name is Jonathon Jameson and he's an anthropologist. He actually discovered the Snuggle species so he knows the bears before they came to the UK." Mickey then talks into the comm. system. "Mrs. Smith. Miss Taylor, the party is about to begin."

"Sarah-Jay is Sarah." Mickey explains helpfully. "She's a journalist. She's a genius. But in her spare time she sometimes works as a receptionist for you. It gives her a chance to talk to the people and keep your business afloat. You'd be lost without her."

"I'm sure I would be." The Doctor admits. "Who am I?" Mickey bites back his initial response.

"You are Doctor John Smith, of course. The local GP, General Practitioner. You're married to Sarah, Jack insisted on that. You used to be a great Doctor. You still are but now you're somewhat distracted. You're preoccupied and neglecting things a lot but you've got your friends looking out for you, forcing you to focus. You're making it awfully difficult for us, Sir." Mickey shakes his head, feigning disapproval when he actually feels amused.

"Right. Yes. Sorry about that." The Doctor apologises. Distractedly. "Let me get this straight. I'm John? Jack's character, which is actually being played by a hologram not even half as good looking as the real thing, is called Jonathon? And Sarah is my wife?"

"Hello husband." Sarah-Jane smirks as she enters. She kisses the Doctor on his cheek and acknowledges Mickey. "Hello Michael." He bows to her.

"I am your servant, Sir." Mickey explains. "To both you and your wife, sir. Jack's suggestion. It's only slightly than being a tin dog but as it was Jack's request…" Mickey trails off. "I should be going downstairs now."

"Nonsense, Michael." Sarah-Jane dismisses the idea. "I believe you would be most beneficial if you remained by the Doctor's side."

"Agreed Ma'am." Mickey and Sarah-Jane share a smirk at the Doctor's bewildered look. Then Rose enters, and it's Mickey's turn to be bewildered.

"That is Rosemary Tyler, sir." Mickey informs the Doctor, his voice full of awe. "One of the most beautiful actresses in the world. And she has people telling her that all the time." Rose is indeed surrounded by hyperholographical admirers as well as a hyperholographical entourage. "She has people giving her diamonds, giving her everything. I can't compete with that." Mickey sighs. Once again, the Doctor finds himself wishing Jack was here. But it isn't for a selfish reason this time.

Suddenly, an inhuman scream rips them all from their melancholy moods. It's coming from Mrs. Snuggles. Her husband, resting in a chair by the fire, won't wake up.

"Let the fun begin."

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"This isn't a child's game anymore." Sam is busy dragging a semi-conscious Jack, the gash on his forehead bleeding all over Sam's shoulder, talking to him in an effort to keep him awake. "I never meant to be this much trouble for you. Captain?" Jack is now fully unconscious.

Sam knows they're still about a mile away from the ghost town where there's an old, abandoned hospital. Jack needs all the medical attention he can get so Sam takes a calculated risk, throws Jack carefully over his shoulder and starts running off in the direction of the town.

It's not long until they're confronted. By four other very familiar aliens: Sam's ex-colleagues. The clan who acted as his family for as long as Sam can remember. The same family who tortured and stripped and raped Jack's ship. They're not his family, or friends, or colleagues, anymore.

"Wait!" Sam pleads, lowering Jack gently to the ground. "He had no part in this. There's no reason for you to kill him. Please, let me help him."

"Erm…" the leader of the pack pretends to think about it. "…No!" He then shoots Sam with an electrical-tasar. It doesn't do any external damage. It just inflicts internal pain. "There was a time when you killed men like him."

"Only on your orders!" Sam shouts. "You have already damaged him enough. You've already caused him enough pain. Leave him alone. It's me you want. Leave him out of it."

"You seem protective of this human."

"He's my friend." Sam states, sincerely. "And he's a good man. You know nothing about either of them things." That gains him another tasar shot, so strong he buckles at the knees.

"I say we torture the human. Make him scream. And make Fralisamunido watch." Sam goes pale blue at the thought and, although he manages not to say anything, he is physically shaking. "Your sympathy for this man is sickening!"

"No! You're the ones who are sickening!" Sam finally voices his conscience. "You are ruled by greed. You find pleasure by causing others pain! You steal and kill and destroy and for no other reason except for your own enjoyment. It's acceptable to kill a member of your own clan but it is punishable by death to have a friend outside your clan. You are barbarians. Afraid of feeling, afraid of emotion! You care about nothing but yourselves. You're the disgusting ones!" Sam's has a sudden feeling of freedom he's never known before.

"Are you finished now? Good, because those are gonna be your last words." The leader sets the tasar to release a fatal amount of electricity, but before he has a chance to shoot, four bullets are fired from a gun behind him. Each bullet enters the back of the aliens' head, killing all four instantly.

"Nice speech. They would have been good last words. But they're not going to be." Jack quips. Sam grins.

"Thanks." Sam pauses, wondering whether he should tell Jack the next bit. "But I think you can take credit for most of it." Jack scoffs and shakes his head. Sam notes that this guy really needs to learn how to take a compliment. Especially when it's true. Sam tries to help Jack up off the ground but Jack shrugs him off.

"I'm fine. I can stand."

"Are you sure?" Sam's concern is genuine.

"Sure I'm sure." Jack insists. Then he tries. "Actually, I might need to lean on you, just a little bit."

"What are friends for?" Sam smiles, helping Jack up and looping an arm around Jack's waist to keep him standing, careful his spikes don't dig into him.

Together they make it to the city, dodging the missiles fired at them from the shuttles in the sky and avoiding foot patrols. They finally get to the hospital, unseen. Jack has trouble with the stairs but eventually Sam is able to carry him up them.

"I hate to be a burden." Jack whispers weakly.

"You're not a burden." Sam stresses. "You saved my life. A lot of other people wouldn't have bothered." Jack doesn't respond, he's now completely unconscious. As Sam patches Jack up as best he can, he's no Doctor and the medical supplies are meagre, he realises this is all his fault. It's his mess and he must fix it. He starts by writing Jack a letter.

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When Jack wakes, he doesn't know how long he's been asleep, he feels marginally better. Until he realises that Sam is gone. He spies a folded letter on the table, addressed to him. Jack doesn't open it, he doesn't have to. He knows what Sam has done, but he can't bring himself to accept it. He breaks down into tears. He feels more alone than ever and he's surprised by how much it hurts. Not the physical pain, but another kind. And maybe he's not strong enough to do this on his own.

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"I have never seen one place so ripe with scandal." Sarah-Jane is really getting into her characters. "And if Mr. Snuggles knew, you would all have a reason to kill him. To keep him quiet. And it would have been so easy, to acquire a kitchen knife and stab the master of the house, who was already so drunk he would not have felt any pain." Everybody is gathered in the one room, servants and masters alike, awaiting the conclusion.

"I strongly doubt my servant, Michael, to be the murderer. He was too preoccupied trying to gain the attentions and affections of a certain actress. However, he does have a severe temper. And if Mr. Snuggles teased him about his unrequited love, Michael may have snapped.

"My husband," she smirks at the word, "Can not possibly be the murderer. He's too soft." The Doctor wants to argue that point, but realises he's too busy thinking about Jack to even bother. He smiles as he realises Sarah-Jane doesn't dare accuse Rose.

"Flash Dan, I doubt to be a murderer because although he's a notorious gangster and highly respected criminal, he's never actually killed anyone before. It's a fact that could ruin Flash Dan if it got out. There is always a first time for everything though and if Mr. Snuggles knew Dan, sorry, Flash Dan may have gone to extreme lengths to silence him.

"With Mrs. Snuggles the motive is obvious. As next of kin you'd assume she stands to inherit the Bear Estate but there is a clause in his will. If he's murdered the estate goes to his illegitimate children." 'Mr. Snuggles had children?' the Doctor questions only to shake his head at how absurd all of this is. And how he's kind of enjoying it.

"The servants are also equally as scandalous. Let's begin with the not so platonic nature of the relationship between Beatrice and Helen." Mickey's eyes open as wide as saucers. If a five foot, shy mousy girl like Beatrice can get a six-foot blonde bombshell like Helen he's obviously been going wrong somewhere. "And with the fear of Beatrice's threatened dismissal due to her clumsiness, you both would do anything to stay together." They do look like they'd do anything for each other. And Mickey's getting jealous of a hyperhologram. "That is a very strong motive.

"And there is also another scandal Mr. Snuggles discovered concerning Alice and Maggie. Alice is Maggie's illegitimate daughter and if this information was made public, both mother and daughter would be outcasts. Maggie has lived in fear all her life. She may be capable of murder.

"And Thomas is an ex-convict. Convicted of murder, he escaped from the gallows and has been on the run ever since. I question Thomas' guilt of the murder for which he was convicted but if Mr. Snuggles threatened to expose him, the fear of the gallows may drive a man to kill.

"Stephen is Charles' nephew but Stephen has been bullied and teased all his life. He's been polishing silver all his life but as soon as he speaks he is mocked and ridiculed. Either Charles or Stephen may have snapped if Mr. Snuggles began to make a joke about Stephen.

"You've all got motives but by using my investigative skills I have determined the murderer to be…" Sarah-Jane leaves a pregnant pause in which the Doctor shatters by rushing out. The telepathic TARDIS explains to them all that Jack's sent a distress message and she's picking him up now.

The murder mystery game is forgotten, much to Rose's frustration but she has Flash Dan to comfort her. Sarah-Jane and Mickey buzz with anticipation and relief but nothing can compare with the overwhelming wave of emotions the Doctor feels. Jack is coming home.

TBC  



	12. Chapter 11

Series: True/Troubled Beauty

Series tagline: How do you love someone who believes they don't deserve your love?

Chapter: 11. Much Angst About Nothing

Fandom: Doctor Who (10th)

Chapter Summary: no plot as such. I just thought I'd like to do a chapter not driven by plot but by character interaction, it does tie up a few loose ends though.

Rating: PG-13.

Word Count: around 8,500. Yikes!

Warning: unbelievable coincidences and possible dullness.

Spoilers: The usual but some strong ones for Season 2: Satan's Pit and the Impossible Planet. And quite a bit of movie talk. Please forgive me.

Disclaimer: sigh I have no claim to pretty much anything, least of all Doctor Who. sigh

AN: If you think this is dull, the next two chapters are also kind of slow-paced. Hmm… I think this has got to the point where it's completely indulgent for me. I have planted little seeds so hopefully it doesn't seem to come too out of the blue. Okay, I'm getting ahead of myself, I'll talk about that next chapter but I don't know when that's going to be…

**11. Much Angst About Nothing**

The Doctor rushes to the library but when he sees Jack, he freezes. He has to force himself not to break down and cry; Jack looks a mess, both physically and mentally. The Doctor winces at the deep gash on Jack's forehead; it's obvious his right arm is broken and his left shoulder looks dislocated; Jack's shirt is blood-soaked and the Doctor can see dark bruises still forming through the rips of the shirt; and Jack's legs are dangerously crippled, the denim burned into the back of his leg muscles. TARDIS shakes as she feels the pains he's in. The Doctor soothes her and tries to collect himself, before going to try and help Jack.

But that's easier said than done. The Doctor can barely bring himself any closer, Jack looks so bad. The Doctor feels sick. Jack looks lost in his own world. A violent movie is playing on the screen in front of him but Jack doesn't flinch, he doesn't even close his eyes because he sees worse things when his eyes are closed. Instead, he inches closer to the screen and tilts his head slightly. He's still shaking from the ordeal he's been through, his knees tucked close to his chest and the Doctor knows he'd be hugging himself if he could, if either of his arms were working properly.

"What are you watching?" The Doctor asks, sitting next to Jack on the floor. Jack doesn't acknowledge him, he doesn't even take his eyes off the screen. The Doctor can't help but wince at the film, a film the TARDIS telepathically tells him is a 20th Century Earth film called 'Event Horizon.' He can't understand why Jack is so engrossed.

"You're pretty badly injured." Jack doesn't respond. "How about you let me fix you up?" Still no reply, but when the Doctor tries to get his sonic screwdriver out Jack suddenly explodes to life. He scrambles to his feet. He shakes his head, to almost collapse from the pain the movement causes. He moves over and sits down on the settee, huddled so small in one corner of it.

"I won't hurt you." The Doctor can't bear to see Jack in pain. "It's me. The Doctor. Jack?" Jack gives no sign he recognises the other man's presence, let alone who he is. "Talk to me, Jack. Please?"

"I'm fine." Jack insists, even as silent tears fall down his face. "Doctor." Jack speaks the name softly, a slight smile on his face, reassuring the Doctor he hasn't forgotten him. But then he completely withdraws again. Every time the Doctor tries to tend to Jack's wounds, Jack lashes out and every time the Doctor stops, Jack withdraws again. The Doctor doesn't know what to do and after what seems like forever, the Doctor is on the verge of giving up.

"I do wish you'd watch something more pleasant. This is bringing back some very bad memories. I actually had an experience like this 'fictional' film once, recently in fact. Black hole. Beast- Devil thing. Not very nice."

"I'm sorry." And the Doctor is taken by surprise because Jack's only spoken three words to him since he got back.

"Yeah. So was I." The Doctor admits. "Only a few of them got out alive. Rose would be dead Zach hadn't forced her to go with them." Jack doesn't say a word but the concerned look on his face says it all. "It's a long story but we both came out of it alright. Can't say the same for the crew of the Space Station though. Scooti, and Mr. Jefferson. That other girl, don't know her name. 50 Ood. And Tobi." The Doctor recalls. "You're not the only one suffering from 'survivor's guilt'." Jack trembles at the Doctor's words. "Why won't you tell me what happened out there?" The Doctor sighs, as Jack remains mute.

Jack's only response is to put on another movie. This time one starring a bunch of kids. There's one kid in particular, who seems to fascinate the Captain. The Doctor will ask Sarah-Jane about it later and she'll explain how the kid's name is River Phoenix, who died young from a drugs overdose. Jack is holding the DVD case of 'Event Horizon', carefully tracing the names of the actors whose characters die in the movie with his fingertips.

"Aye, it is common." Jack mutters under his breath. The Doctor has very good hearing though and he recognises the slightly altered quote.

"If it be, why seems it so particular with thee?" The Doctor asks, making Jack jump. Jack winces in pain before giving a harsh and honest answer in his own words.

"Because it is. It always is." And suddenly, it is the Doctor who is shocked into silence. He doesn't know how to help Jack any more and he knows Jack wouldn't let him even if he did. Then Mickey strolls in and breaks the tension.

"Hey! 'The Ruskies!' Nice film!" Mickey notes before getting his first real glimpse at Jack. "Bloody hell Jack! You look awful! Why haven't you let the Doctor fix you up?" Mickey sees Jack shaking and knows he's in shock. "Well, would you let me fix you up? I've gotten quite good with a sonic screwdriver." Mickey gestures for the Doctor to lend him his sonic screwdriver. He does so reluctantly.

"I think I've lost Rose for good." Mickey says lightly, using the sonic screwdriver to heal the skull-deep cut in Jack's forehead. "She's changed. Or maybe she hasn't changed, maybe she's just showing who she was all along. I know I'm too boring for her but I can't change who I am. I've always been steady and reliable. But I like stability and maybe I live my life a little in the slow lane but that's who I am. And that's not her." Mickey moves to heal Jack's broken arm. "Sorry." He mutters as Jack grits his teeth in pain.

"You shouldn't have to change who you are. You made it work once. But I guess, since the differences in your personalities have been highlighted so much lately, it's pretty hard to ignore. But you're both really sweet and I care about you both so much." Jack smiles but it hurts to smile. "Are you sure you're ready to call it quits?"

"It isn't working any more." Mickey admits, still tending to Jack's wounds. "She's only with me out of habit and, as much as I love her, I'm not willing to be a habit she wants to break. That's not much better than being a tin dog." Mickey jokes, but regrets it as Jack's in too much pain to laugh. He moves the sonic screwdriver to help reconnect Jack's dislocated shoulder. "There's too much distance between us. I've even tried to woo her by singing 'If I Can't Love Her' like you suggested. She just shoved me out of the way and told me not to be so gay.

"She's lashing out at everybody and I feel so damn helpless. She even told Sarah-Jay to stop being so gay, when she was drooling all over that Krieno dude, the sports one, she was gushing about him, pretty much like you did when you realised who he was. Believe me, it stopped Sarah-Jay mid-rant. But Rose is out of control. She even told TARDIS to stop being so gay when all TARDIS was trying to do was comfort her! I get that Rose is bored and lonely and not very happy but whenever we try to help her she tells us to get lost. She hates it here. That's another difference between us. I love it here. I just don't understand."

"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." Jack quotes.

"Another pearl of wisdom from Shakespeare." Mickey mutters. "But that's my point exactly. I don't understand the way she thinks. One example: She was mad at me because I made her take part in the Murder Mystery game and now she's mad because she didn't get to finish it."

"Why didn't you get to finish it?" Jack enquires, weakly but genuinely curious.

"You came back. It was only filler until you got back. It was practically done anyway. Sarah-Jay was just getting ready to announce the murderer…"

"Was I on the suspect list?" Jack asks.

"Of course not. You should have been. You're character was blackmailing Mr. Snuggles to fund one of your anthropological expeditions. Everybody had a motive, you designed it that way, didn't you?" Mickey's tone is slightly accusing.

"Uhoh. Busted." Jack admits.

"What? What do you mean?" The Doctor is clueless.

"He fixed it so everybody had a motive. So whoever Sarah-Jay determined as the killer, the programme was designed to make her right, no matter who she said." Mickey informs him with a smug smile on his face.

"It wasn't that I couldn't trust Sarah-Jay to get it right it's just because I couldn't decide myself." Jack is quick to add.

"Yeah, well, the reason I'm here is nothing to do with you." Mickey reassures Jack, who wouldn't want to see him if he was. "Rose is copping off with Flash Dan." Mickey explodes but pauses to question, "Just how realistic did you make them hyperholograms, Jack?"

"Isn't Flash Dan one of your creations?" Jack asks, stretching out his legs, wincing in pain, allowing Mickey to use the sonic screwdriver and heal the severe burns.

"Yeah. It is rather ironic Rose chose to cop off with a character based on the guy I want to be." Mickey's tone makes it clear he does not appreciate the irony. "But I used the basic hyperholographic matrix you designed and just altered the characteristics and aesthetics programme. She couldn't actually get off with him, could she?"

"They're solid enough to the touch. 'Fully functional' as 'The Naked Now' put it. Hypothetically, it's possible but I never… I really hoped you two could work…" Jack suddenly doubles over in pain, spluttering and choking on the blood that is pouring out of his mouth.

"Bloody hell Jack! You must have broken your ribs, it must have punctured your lung!" Mickey can't fix what he can't see but he can feel the Doctor's jealousy as he rips open Jack's shirt. Mickey can't help but flinch at the bruises and the ribs poking out of his skin. He doesn't know where to begin and can't bear to look any longer so he hands the sonic screwdriver over to the Doctor.

The Doctor works fast, tears blurring his vision, bile burning his throat. Jack is drowning in his own blood so the Doctor's first job is to repair the tear in Jack's lung, then remove the blood from where there should only be air. Dissolve the broken ribs before creating new ones to form the protective cage around his vital organs. Finally, repair the holes and bruising of his skin. Jack is gasping for his breathe, but at least he's still alive.

"Goddamit Jack!" Mickey is frantic with worry, voicing what the Doctor can't. "I'm scared about you. Why are you so suicidal? It's a miracle you're still alive!"

"Tell me about it." Jack complains. "I think being suicidal is the only thing which keeps me alive. I deserve the pain. It's the minute I want to live you should really get scared. Why is it only the good people who die?" Jack puts on his shredded shirt, a few of the buttons now missing. He's hugging himself tightly and rocking gently.

"What the hell happened out there Jack?" Mickey asks, with tears in his eyes. The Doctor's are already flowing freely down his face. Jack silently hands Mickey a letter he's had crumpled in the pocket of his jeans. It's barely legible as it's stained with Jack's blood and tears.

_Dear Captain Jack Harkness,_

_I knew you wouldn't let me go when you were awake but you were injured so badly. You've been a good friend to me and I hope you understand why I had to give you the medication, I hope you understand why I have to face them. I'm willing for it to cost me my life if it spares yours._

"Do you only ever sleep when you've collapsed, been drugged or knocked unconscious?" Mickey tries to joke.

_I am sorry for any grief I have caused you. Some people are just not meant to be saved, but thank you for trying. This isn't a failure. You have not failed me or anybody else. The only failure would be if you failed to try. You are a good man Jack, I beg you to remember that._

"He's right Jack. You ARE a good man." Mickey reinforces but Jack gives no sign he's heard.

_I do have one humble request of you, my friend. That is to find my family on Paffandor. I was taken from them as a child and trained by the pirate fleet. My family know nothing of my life, nor my death. My life was sinful, I believed unforgivable until you forgave me, so tell them the story of my death instead._

_And I plead with you Jack, not to blame yourself. I would have been dead a lot sooner if I hadn't met you for the second time. Or I would have lived a long, criminal and immoral existence if I had not meant you the first time. You rescued me Jack. In more ways than one._

_Your loyal friend, who is now finally at peace,_

_Fralisamunido. (Sam)_

The silence is so heavy, filled so much with sorrow and sympathy. But Mickey has to break that with his curiosity.

"Wasn't one of the aliens who attacked you and Sarah-Jay a Paffandian? Big blue guy with spikes? From the planet Paffandor?" The Doctor gives Mickey a look that dismisses him as a geek. Jack gives Mickey a look of admiration and approval with a little bit of surprise and curiosity. "It wasn't all that hard. TARDIS did all the work 'cos she's a genius and knows everything." The TARDIS purrs in reply to that. "Sarah-Jay helped though, let TARDIS scan her memories so she could use them to ID the aliens. We needed to know to help heal you, get the antidote and stuff. I was bored so I watched. And lately, I read up on them, just for fun 'cos it's proper interesting."

"That's very impressive, Mickey." Jack smiles. "Pretty soon you'll know more than me. You won't need me to teach you any more." Mickey may not need Jack as a teacher, but he'll always need Jack as a friend. It's a shame Mickey doesn't tell him that though. "Here, take a look at the post-script."

_PS: Jack, my biggest regret is what we did to your ship. I'm afraid I cannot restore what was lost to you. I hate to inform you that the mechanical canine you were so concerned about was sold weeks ago. I'm afraid I do not have better news. I cannot express the sorrow I feel. I am so sorry. Goodbye, and good luck. Stay good Jack. Stay true. Stay you._

"Only you Jack, only you." Mickey laughs, shaking his head in disbelief. "But damn, we love you for it." Mickey smiles, trying to maintain Jack's eye contact even though they're both blushing. "The pirates couldn't have chosen a better species to kidnap though." Mickey changes the subject, only to become genuinely passionate about it. "On Paffandor their tough skin protects them from their suns. They have poisonous spikes in their arms to protect them from far more violent species because predators don't like the taste of it. Sometimes they use them for hunting but that's only in extreme cases of starvation as Paffandians are vegetarians, there's so much vegetation they don't have to eat meat. But trained as a warrior, their skin is like armour and their weapons are already built into their arms."

"Mickey, we'll make an extraterrestrialologist of you yet." Jack beams with pride.

"He's got to learn how to spell it first." The Doctor bitches.

"I'm not as stupid as you think!" Mickey protests. "I'm fed up of you having a go at me. Just because you're 900 years old you think you know everything and I know nothing. That is not true! You don't even know who Sarah Michelle Gellar is!" Jack suddenly bursts into a giggle, which he quickly corrects into a chuckle, making Mickey and the Doctor stop mid-argument.

"I'm sorry but I love it how you two bicker." Jack laughs.

"Excuse me, we don't bicker!"

"No, we don't!" The Doctor agrees.

"We argue but that's different. Only old grannies bicker!" That makes Jack hysterical.

"Hey, we've actually fought each other. Proper punches were thrown and everything!" The Doctor protests but Jack is howling with laughter. He tries to calm himself down enough to speak.

"Yeah, and look how that turned out. You were beaten by Mickey. Old grannies fight better. Seriously, they must have rocks in their handbags or something but anyway…" he trails off. "I like how you two bicker, it's funny." Then suddenly there's a frown on his face. "I missed it." And that's a bad thing.

"If it's okay, can you use TARDIS to take me to Paffandor?" Jack asks the Doctor because the Doctor has the symbiotic nuclei needed. "My ship is kind of crippled, otherwise I'd take that."

"Do you want me to go with you?" The Doctor responds. "To break the bad news."

"I want to go on my own." Jack insists and that's what they feared. Jack tries to lighten the mood. "I vant to be alone." Jack mimics a Greta Garbo, and only now realises how false that is. He doesn't want to be on his own any more. And therefore, as soon as his ship is fixed, he's leaving. And hopefully he'll manage to stay away for more than 24 hours this time.

"Are you sure you don't want to take Sarah-Jay, for support?" Mickey offers. "Are you sure you don't want to take me, so we can study the species and learn more. I've read up on it and I wouldn't mind it for real." He sheepishly admits.

"Sorry Mickey, some other time." Jack silently kicks himself for making the promise, making it harder for him to leave when the time is finally right. "But I don't think it's a good time for field trip. I've got a job to do. And I've got to do this by myself."

"Will you come back?" Mickey asks.

"I'll have to. I need to fix my ship."

"And what about me?" Mickey blurts out before realising he sounds like the Doctor. "Actually, go. But you're not allowed to come back all angsty. I've got enough of that with the Doctor." The Doctor begins to protest but Jack and Mickey conspire to not let him.

"How do you expect me to go to Paffandor… with the sole purpose of finding Sam's family… and telling them he's dead… and not get all angsty?" Mickey can't think of a reply. "Thought so. So will you drive me there Doctor?"

"You've only just got back. And you were beaten up pretty bad. Don't you think you should rest first?" The Doctor pleads.

"Or at least have a cup of coffee." Mickey isn't above exploiting Jack's greatest weakness, smiling as Jack pauses. "It's just… we've missed you. Both of us." Mickey feels the need to confess.

"You missed me?" Jack scoffs, only to have two pairs of puppy dog eyes looking rather helplessly at him. "Oh. You did." He realises, shocked. "Well, I don't plan on being there all that long. And erm… when I get back I'll spend some quality time with you guys. Mickey, you and I will drink beer and eat pizza and watch 'From Dawn Till Dusk', please don't comment on my Quentin Tarantino obsession, because it's not really an obsession it's just an admiration." Mickey shoots the Doctor a look whilst the Doctor tries to appear not too envious. "And Doctor, you and I can… we can… I don't know but I'm sure I'll think of something." Mickey glances at the Doctor and from the look on the Doctor's face, he can think of something to do with the Captain. Mickey rolls his eyes.

"So you ARE coming back?" The Doctor asks, desperately.

"Haven't we already been through this?" Jack laughs softly. "I'm coming back. Just until my ship is fixed." He pauses before adding with a hesitant smile, "but she's pretty messed up. I'll be here for a while yet."

"Good." Mickey grins.

"Good? That's great!" The Doctor exclaims. "Fantastic!"

"Yeah." Jack whispers, still unsure. "So will you drive me to Paffandor, Doctor?"

"You don't need me." The Doctor answers. "I'm just the middle man. You need to go straight to the girl herself."

"But you've got the symbiotic nuclei…" Jack points out.

"Oh, I'm sure she'll make an exception for you." The Doctor tries to keep the jealousy out of his voice. "She likes you. A lot." Who can blame her? "She'll take you wherever you want to go. As long as she knows you're coming back."

"Cripes, I'm being held prisoner!" Jack laughs even as his heart is beating twice its normal pace. "But I'm not worried. I'm a regular Houdini. There hasn't been a prison built which I can't escape from and believe you and me, I've escaped from a few prisons in my time." Jack pauses. "But TARDIS is something special. She's so beautiful. I could easy..." Jack shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the thought. He's not going to stay. "What's to stop me from taking the TARDIS, dumping all youse and leaving?"

"I'm sure she'd let you." The Doctor accepts. "I'm sure even a part of you wants to. But you won't. You're not a conman anymore."

"I don't know who I am." Jack replies. The sombre moment is soon broken by Mickey though as he just has to reply,

"Obviously a man who's been watching too many mafia films. 'all youse'? Since when do you talk like that?" They laugh but Jack suddenly stops.

"See you soon, guys." He leaves. Mickey and the Doctor turn to each other, wondering what they'll do now.

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"Hi Rose."

"Hey Jack." She grunts her reply. "Look, I'm just of to Bailé and just drink and dance my head off. But it's good for the others that you're back."

"Mickey still loves you, you know?" Jack can't help but blurt out.

"I know." Rose admits, feeling very blunt and honest. "But I don't love him. And it isn't fair on either of us to pretend any more."

"I guess not." Jack grudgingly accepts. "Mickey's kind of down but we're going to watch some movies together later, probably talk right through them so I'll put the subtitles on. The only thing that can really heal a broken heart is time but hopefully it won't hurt as bad if he's got his friends around him and I intend on being there for him." Jack sighs as he realises how hard he's making it to leave. "How are you doing, Rose?"

"I'm fine." Her head is tilted to the ground and she's playing with a few strands of her hair. She's not the best liar in the world. He wouldn't want her to be. "Or at least I will be once I've had a dance. Only the hyper holo-thingy is still programmed for that murder thing. Can you change it back for me, Jack?" She puts on a look she knows he can't refuse.

"You know, partying is not a long term solution. The problems will still be there once you're sober." Jack is speaking from experience. "I hate seeing you so upset." Rose laughs bitterly at that, a laugh that pains Jack to hear.

"Will you fix the damn club or not?" She snaps. Jack nods silently. They walk to the club, no words pass between them. Jack starts to reset the hyperholographical programme.

"Do you want me to leave Flash Dan? I heard you quite like him." Jack's tone is a mixture of disapproval, anger, disappointment, sincerity and teasing.

"Oh, you heard that did you?" Rose slightly blushes with guilt. "I was just bored. I got fed up with being ignored."

"You are not ignored Rose." Jack exclaims. "I love you, Mickey loves you. And you and Sarah-Jay are like birds of a feather. We all love you."

"He doesn't though." Rose sulks.

"Oh I'm sure he does. I'm sure the Doctor loves you. He used to love you so much. I remember when I first met you two. Your love was so strong; I couldn't see anything breaking through that. I was so in awe of you two. So inspired. What happened, huh?"

"You did." Rose states simply. She's surprised by the lack of hatred she feels now she's admitted it out loud. She feels the resentment physically drain from her body as she continues. "I know he loved me. But it's different. What me and the Doctor had was instant and spectacular but there wasn't anything much beyond that. With you and the Doctor, it was like a slow burn, he didn't even like you that much at first. But you grew on him. You got under his skin. You got deeper than I ever did and you're still going. He's falling and nothing can stop him. He loved you more than he ever thought possible. And he's still loving you, more and more with every passing second."

"Yeah, well he's a fool." Jack spits out. "Anyone who loves me is a fool." Rose can see Jack honestly believe what he's saying and suddenly Rose doesn't. Maybe it's like reverse psychology or maybe it's because she's seeing the real Jack for once and not the villain she's painted in her mind, but she doesn't blame him any more. She stops seeing Jack as her rival and instead she sees the myriad of reasons the Doctor loves him.

She sees that, although her and the Doctor would have been a good couple, the Doctor and Jack are a GREAT couple. They fit together perfectly, although you might not expect them to. The Captain has a battle-scarred soul, and is regretting the loss of his innocence. The Captain has a soul that is old beyond his years. The Doctor has a soul every bit as old as his age but Jack makes him feel young again. They both are familiar with the taste of sorrow but together it doesn't seem so bitter. They need each other. Two lonely survivors, missing something that only the other seems to be able to give them.

Rose may have become too dependant on the Doctor, she needed him to see the Universe. In a way she needed him to survive because what she did for the 19 years before she met him could not be called living. But Sarah-Jane had to survive without the Doctor, and she coped. She should be grateful for the time she's spent with him.

Everybody needs the Doctor. That's just the way he is. And the Doctor has always needed people. But his companions come and go and the Doctor has always let them. But Jack is different. The Doctor needs him. The Doctor needs him. He's all and everything the Doctor needs: a fellow traveller, a fellow outcast, a good man with a somewhat lost soul, passionate and eager, haunted, talented and so much more. The Doctor needs the weaknesses as much as the strengths and there's nothing about Jack he doesn't love. And Rose knows that she is no one to stand in the way of that. But she still can't help but wish it was her.

"Okay, you've got your rave club up and running." Jack informs her before turning to leave.

"Wait! Won't you stay? Will you dance with me?" Rose asks, meekly, her way of apologising and asking for forgiveness.

"I… I'm sorry but I can't. I've got to find the family of an alien friend of mine and explain how he died, to save me."

"Oh." Rose's eyes widen. She knows nothing about what happened to Jack whilst he was away. She feels ashamed. "But you're coming back, right? And you won't let it get you down too much?"

"Mickey asked me the same thing…" Jack's brow furrows.

"Yeah well, he's just worried about you. And I'm worried about the Doctor 'cos he's not happy unless you are. But you don't have to worry about me. I'm fine now. And I'll apologise to Mickey later. He's still a good friend and I don't want to lose him. If I haven't already, that is."

"You haven't." Jack reassures her. "We're a funny little bunch, aren't we?" he laughs

"How's that?"

"Everybody's always worrying about everybody else. Sarah-Jay's a sweetheart that way. I guess all of you are. Everybody here cares more about each other than they do themselves." Jack isn't including himself in that even though it's clear to anybody but him that's he's most guilty of all.

"I guess that's just what a family does." Rose smiles, even as Jack's heart quickens pace again. He doesn't respond. "You should go. I'll be fine. But you've got to promise me one thing."

"I'll try my best." Jack agrees.

"Spend some time with the boys when you get back. They've both been missing you." Jack grins at that, pulling her into a great big bear hug. Once he's released her he places a sloppy kiss on her head.

"It's good to have you back, Rose." And Rose's smile is so big it feels as though it'll break her face in two but she's too happy to care. She feels remarkably proud of herself. And Jack has the ability to make anybody happy about themselves. Apart from himself, frustratingly enough. But then he leaves; off to break his heart again, add another scar to his soul and beat himself up probably; Rose sighs, before switching on the rave holo-programme and dance away all her profound thoughts.

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"Do you think I'm pathetic?" The Doctor just has to ask. Mickey's response is immediate.

"Yes."

"Oh." The Doctor's mouth forms a perfect 'o'. "Is there any way I could not be?"

"Probably not." Mickey shrugs. They revert back to their comfortable silence.

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Jack feels slightly guilty about not taking Mickey or Sarah-Jane; they'd both love it here. It's beautiful. It's a little hotter than they're used to though, but with some clothing designed to keep them cool it wouldn't be a problem. Jack should have thought of that because he never even bothered to change. The back bottom half of his jeans are completely gone, thankfully his thick boots are still intact but his shirt is just a bloody torn rag. He wishes he brought some sunscreen, he knows he's going to burn.

But he can't bring himself to care too much though because the planet is absolutely teeming with vegetation and wildlife: species of the sky; animals amongst the foliage; creatures in the ground. Huge, dinosaur-like aliens as friendly as puppy dogs. Small, silky animals that turn out to be meanest of predators. Every organism seems to smell the blood on his shirt and comes to check him out. Thankfully, most of them don't view him as a meal option and those that have taken a nibble on him don't seem to like the taste; too alien. Jack doesn't take it personally.

It's hard to differentiate from the most intelligent species to the basest of creatures but Jack's in awe of it all. It's all new and different and therefore Jack is fascinated by everything. Even when some kind of scorpion-like creature manages to sting his ankle, passing straight through his thick boots, he picks up the animal and examines it closely. He tries to soothe it, calm it down and prove he's not a threat, then he lets it go and watches it scurry off into an orange shrub.

"Don't worry, I don't think it'll kill you. Saying that, you're not from round here so I can't be sure. But your foot should be fine. Just rest it, and a cold compress might help." The voice is female, alien and yet oddly familiar. Jack turns around to see an adult Paffandian, in the very blue flesh. Her spikes are slightly larger than Sam's were and if Jack's right that meant she's a mother.

"You're a Paffandian." Jack announces out loud, slightly shocked. "You're the dominant species of this planet."

"I don't about that." She smiles slightly. "But yes, I am a Paffandian. And where are you from, young man?"

"An Earth colony, very far away but that's not important." Jack dismisses. "This planet is amazing!" He hates to act like such a tourist but he's always been one to appreciate beauty. His mouth is open so wide it's surprising he doesn't catch bugs. The woman chuckles.

"It is, but it's also kind of dangerous. You should come indoors." She instructs.

"Back to your house?" he flirts.

"Yeah. My husband's a healer; he'll take a look at the several bites you've acquired and that sting. And my daughter is young but she's smart. I bet she could answer any questions you have about this place. I think you'll like my family." It's her way of telling him she's taken but a little harmless flirting never hurt anybody.

"Oh, I like them already." Jack replies. "And what about you? What's your job?"

"I'm a teacher. Biology, chemistry, physics…"

"You're a scientist! Sweet!" Jack approves. "I'm seriously looking forward to meeting your family. They sound as cool as you are." And her smile widens because it's been a long time since anyone viewed her as 'cool'. There's just something about this stranger that makes him special and she's already grown rather fond of him.

"Come on. You can walk me home." She tells him before becoming concerned. "You can walk, can't you? How's your ankle?"

"I'm fine to walk." Jack insists. Then he tries to put some weight on it and finds he falls straight to the floor. The woman helps him up and puts her arm around his waist to help keep him there, wary her spikes don't hurt him. "I might have to lean on you just a little. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is." She tells him. "What are friends for?" They walk balk to the village. "My name's KaLatya, by the way."

"Hiya KaLatya. I'm Captain Jack Harkness. Pleased to meet ya."

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"He is coming back, isn't he?" the Doctor asks and Mickey fights the urge to punch him. Then he sighs.

"I hope so." He admits quietly. "I think so. He did promise and I trust him." He's silent for a few seconds. "And even if he doesn't come back for us, he'll come back for his ship."

"Oh that's very comforting." The Doctor's tells him before sighing. "Do you think if I wasn't so keen, so desperate, so…"

"Needy?" Mickey offers, giving the Doctor a smirk that doesn't quite reach his eyes. Then he turns serious. "You're not the only one who needs him: I need a best friend, TARDIS needs an engineer. Don't worry, it's not that we need him to stay, it's that he wants to stay which makes him so eager to leave." Perhaps it's okay that Mickey's so smart because he knows what the Doctor means without him actually having to say it.

"It's all like some stupid tragedy, all leading to one inevitable, inescapable conclusion. But I won't let it happen. Surely there's got to be some way we can make him stay." The Doctor has always been stubborn, in all thirteen of his regenerations. But it has never been about something this important to him before.

"Aren't you getting tired of all of this? Of fighting him?" Mickey asks softly, carefully. "Why not just enjoy the time you have with him. We all need to stop worrying and fretting, we might actually be able to have some fun that way. And give him a good time too. It's been so tense, ever since we found him. I think we should try and relax. Everybody's too highly strung. We should take things slow for a change. No drama, no angst, no horror. Just kick back and chill out."

"Rose won't like it." The Doctor points out.

"I think it sounds an excellent idea." Rose interrupts, silencing the Doctor and Mickey. "And I'm sure I can entertain myself whilst you're taking things slow. You don't need to worry about me, not any more." Mickey hugs her, as wildly and enthusiastically as Jack did before.

"I am so glad to hear that." He kisses her on the forehead. "I've been worried about you."

"I know you have. I know everybody has and I'm sorry." She genuinely is and the guys can see that. "I just was acting out of boredom, and frustration. I was just being stupid."

"What's to stop you from becoming bored again?" The Doctor asks, still sitting on the settee, never having moved.

"I don't know." Rose admits. "But I'm going to get back to my dancing. I just had to take time out to apologise to you guys. As George Michael once sang, 'guilty feet have no rhythm.' Actually the song was titled 'Careless Whisper' but that was part of the lyrics and you get my drift." They do and they appreciate it.

"We're about to get some beer and pizza and watch a movie." Mickey tells her. It's the first time the Doctor's heard of it. "It's either that or TARDIS is going to start playing 'I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself.' So a mindless movie should stave off the boredom for a while. One from Jack's collection should do. I'm thinking 'Grindhouse', the infamous Robert Rodriguez-Quentin Tarantino double feature. Foul language, blood guts and gore and sexy women. Jack says it's a classic. Well, it is about as long as 'Hamlet.' So what do you say?" The Doctor's sold.

"I think I'll leave you boys to it. I wanna get back to the party." Rose laughs, turning away.

"You don't know what you're missing." Mickey shakes his head as Rose leaves. Mickey then heads off to get ridiculous amounts of beer and pizza and only once he's filled the library with enough to feed a small country, he switches off the lights and puts on the movie.

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KaLatya's family are intrigued by Jack's wild anecdotes, laugh loudly at the punch lines of his jokes, and make him feel more accepted and welcome than he's felt in a long time. Then he lets out a breath, sadly.

"What's the matter?" the daughter, Aldamar, ask. She doesn't miss a thing. Her concern touches him and he tries to put it at ease.

"I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me. It's just…" he sighs again "I've got some very bad news to break to somebody on Paffandor, a family, but I don't know who and I don't know how. Any suggestions?"

"What is this 'bad news' you speak of?" Dehamun, KaLatya's husband, enquires.

"A Paffandian… died recently. He died protecting me." Jack's voice is barely a whisper and filled with guilt.

"What was his name?"

"Fralisamunido." The family recognise the name.

"It means 'the stolen one'." Dehamun informs him.

"Your brother." KaLatya consoles her husband, who has turned so pale and so still. Aldamar explains.

"When my father was just a child, his family were pioneers, the first to explore space. He remembers his parents telling him to hide and he did as he was told. Nobody told him it was safe to come out and when he did, he only found corpses. And no sign of his baby brother. He had to wait for a week until another Paffandian ship found him. He still has nightmares about that time."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jack empathises.

"Nonsense!" Dehamun tells him. "It wasn't your fault. You had no part in it. I don't need your pity. I just need answers. Please. Tell me everything you know."

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"Ah, so this is where you boys are hanging out. You know, for two people who seemed so unwilling to let me leave, I thought you'd have welcomed me back sooner. I… is that the closing credits of 'Four Rooms'? You watched it without me?"

"Oh, hi Jack. Take a seat." Mickey moves over and Jack sits down between Mickey and the Doctor.

"You watched 'Four Rooms' without me!" It's a statement and the Doctor smiles to see that Jack is pouting ever so slightly. Mickey smirks.

"Yep. We sure did." He confirms. "We watched 'Grindhouse' first. Wanna beer?" Jack declines. "Then we watched 'Jackie Brown.'"

"Then we watched 'Desperado'." The Doctor joins in the teasing with the truth.

"Then it was 'Pulp Fiction'"

"'Sin City'"

"'Reservoir Dogs'"

"And we watched 'From Dawn Till Dusk'."

"The sound system was slightly too good though for my taste." Mickey shudders. "But we watched 'True Romance' after that."

"And THEN we watched 'Four Rooms.' Do you want some pizza?" The Doctor offers but Jack doesn't reply. For several seconds he can't say a word. Eventually, he manages to speak.

"I wasn't gone that long. Was I?" Mickey doesn't even dignify that with a response. He just glares and points out the empty beer cans and empty pizza boxes.

"Didn't you sleep?" Jack asks, astonished.

"Did you?" Mickey shoots back, knowing very well Jack didn't.

"Where are the girls?" Jack changes the subject but he hasn't seen them at all since he's got back. However, the guys neglected to check on anything during their Tarantino-Rodriguez marathon so TARDIS has to tell the Doctor telepathically.

"Well… Rose partied, took a time out to apologise to us and freshen up. She partied, slept and now she's partying again. She's gone through the entire rave collection of the 21st century and now she's onto the 22nd. She's enjoying herself too. Speaking of enjoyment, Sarah's in the Paradise Pleasure Palace room right now."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Mickey laughs suddenly, before realising that Jack and the Doctor are staring at him, waiting for an explanation. "Using your hyperholographical matrix she designed a hyperholographical stud to act as her masseur. Lacking in personality but I don't think she created him for his dazzling conversational skills." They laugh.

"I could do that for you, you know?" Jack offers. "How would you like to receive a massage from Uma Thurman? Or her alter ego: Ulla Inga Hansen Benson Yonsen Tallen-Hallen Svaden Svonson?"

"You just like saying that, don't you?" Mickey grins.

"What? Ulla Inga Hansen Benson Yonsen Tallen-Hallen Svaden Svonson?"

"Yeah."

"Yep, I do." Jack grins right back. "But I could do it for you, if you want."

"Nah. I just want to watch a movie." Mickey concludes.

"What? Another one?" Jack teases.

"We could watch Ulla Inga… we could watch 'The Producers' if you want." Mickey offers.

"We could watch 'Sin City 2'" Jack counters.

"You're turning down a musical?" Mickey's amazed. "But you're addicted to musicals like you're addicted to coffee and angst. And I bet you had enough angst on Paffandor."

"No I didn't. They wouldn't let me!" Jack bursts out. "It's a long story but I met the family of the brother of Fralisamunido. Actually, I met his wife first. She's a scientist, and a good woman. When I got stung in the foot, she helped carry me to her house. Her husband and Sam's brother, Dehamun, is a healer. Very good as well. And their daughter is just the sweetest thing. Aldamar's only 9 years old but she's a genius. Their whole family is the best, and they made me feel really welcome."

"How did they take the news?" Mickey asks softly, his voice full of concern.

"They took it better than me, actually." Jack admits. "They comforted me. Dehamun got me high. I don't know if he did it on purpose or if it was just a side effect of the medicine but they refused to let me be anything other than happy. Aldamar showed me her playhouse, KaLatya showed me her thesis. We talked about Sam, drank to him and celebrated him. We partied. Time flies when you're having fun. And it doesn't look like anybody missed me here."

"Not really." Mickey says lightly. The Doctor is shocked Mickey can lie so well. "Do you want a coffee? I'm buying."

"I can make it." The Doctor offers but both Jack and Mickey shoot him down.

"Stick to making tea, Doctor." Mickey advises. "I'll get an iced mocha for Jack, extra espresso; I'll make myself a hot chocolate. Doc, do you want anything?" The Doctor shrugs. "Pick out a movie, I don't want to come back to see a blank TV screen." And then Mickey leaves them, leaving the Doctor all alone with Jack.

"Can we watch 'Kill Bill'?" Jack requests, not even noticing the uncomfortable silence.

"I thought you hate violence!" The Doctor's surprised.

"Oh, I do." Jack agrees. "And believe it or not, so does Quentin Tarantino." Jack smirks because it's clear the Doctor doesn't believe him. "Violence is an unfortunate part of human nature. Sex and aggression, Freud was right about that much at least. The trick is keeping those vices in control. TV and film is actually a good outlet for them. As long as you manage to distinguish between reality and illusion, that is." And this really isn't the Jack the Doctor remembers. But he is interesting.

"When did you grow so smart?" The Doctor smiles fondly.

"I've always been this way. I just tend not to show it." Jack confides. "Ever since I was a wee tyke I loved studying. Everybody else thought I was a waste of space, so shy, never did anything, never said anything, just read all the time. My family loved me though, and they could bring me out of my shell a bit, but I was still more Greek than Roman, if you get my meaning.

"But then they died and I had to look after myself. I met Maria, and she helped me. She helped build my confidence, she challenged my knowledge, she kept me sharp. We had long and seriously profound conversations, even though she was just a kid. She wanted to hear my thoughts on things. She taught me how to charm, debate and convince.

"Then the Time Agency came and took me away. I did what they wanted me to, became who they wanted me to be. I became cocky, loud and extrovert. I stole, seduced and whatever else they wanted. It seems I can only ever be things in extremes. Maria helped me to not be so introvert. And Anne…" he speaks that word with such reverence, "I met her after I was part of the Time Agency. She helped me settle down. I became a father. But then… then…" he breaks off. "They were gone and just after that there's a two-year gap in my memories. That's when you met me and you know what I was like then. But with you and Rose I was getting better."

"Until I got you killed." The Doctor continues for him. "Until I left you behind." The Doctor will never be able to forgive himself for that. "Then you became an introvert again. I am so sorry, Jack."

"Don't be. I met Sarah-Jane and she's helped me a lot. I love her to pieces." And the Doctor nods in understanding.

"But you're still rather shy." He can't help but add.

"No I'm not!" Jack scoffs, but can't quite look the Doctor in the eyes. "I just… I never want to be as cocky and as selfish and as stupid as I was when you knew me. I need to get the balance right, that's all."

"Does that go for age too?" The Doctor asks. "You keep changing from a kid to an old man, no in-between. Seriously, one minute you're like Sean Astin in 'The Goonies' and the next minute you're as wise as Gandalf, or Yoda." Jack is ecstatic at the movie references. And once he's finished laughing he answers the Doctor.

"I don't want to be a teenager. As long as I'm not a teenager I'm very happy. Teenagers are evil. No offence to Rose, she's actually not a teenager anymore, but teenagers are moody and angsty and intense! Okay, so I'm probably stereotyping but to me being a teenager just drags out the saga of growing up. Well, I'm all growned up now and if I ever turn into a hormonal teenager again, like I was when I first met you, URGH, it isn't even worth contemplating." Jack punctuates the end of his rant with a deep breath. The Doctor doesn't mention how much he misses the teenage Jack, the horny Jack.

Mickey enters, carrying three mugs and trying desperately not to yawn.

"The screen's still blank." Mickey points out, resting the mugs on the coffee table. "Here's your iced mocha with 5 shots of espresso, Jack." Jack takes his drink. "Here's your iced mocha, Doctor, but I only gave you two shots of espresso since you're not a hardened coffee connoisseur like Jack" The Doctor thanks Mickey and takes it. Mickey then collapses onto the settee next to Jack, letting his own drink cool down. "My vote is for a musical. As much as I like Quentin Tarantino…"

"Quentin Zastoupil!" Jack interrupts, loving that last name and almost going off onto a rant about Quentin Zastoupil, aka Quentin Jerome Tarantino but he somehow forces himself to be quiet.

"And as much as you love him," Mickey continues. "I seriously can't close my eyes without seeing some gory image." He closes his eyes and rests his head on Jack's shoulder, already half-asleep. Only then does he realise that Jack's dressed in some kind of Paffandian clothing. It makes for a very comfy pillow.

"We could watch 'Sleep With Me'" Jack suggests.

"Na-Uh." Mickey declines, not even bothering to open his eyes or lift his head. "You just want to watch that for Quentin's speech on the gay subtext of 'Top Gun'."

"We could watch 'Top Gun.'" Jack laughs. It's a nice sound for Mickey and the Doctor to hear.

"I vote for 'Love Labours Lost." Mickey yawns. "That way Jack can get his fix of Nathan Lane, Kenneth Branagh and Geraldine McEwan and Richard Briers. And help satisfy his addiction to musicals and Shakespeare. And I can get some sleep." Mickey begins to snore softly. Jack looks to the Doctor.

"Whatever you want, Jack."

FIN


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